I’ve noticed in the past 3-4 years that news stories affect me much more than they used to. Anything involving children now upsets me deeply, which is I suppose a predictable consequence of being a dad.
Just this morning, I stumbled upon this. The story itself is sad enough but what really got me is the picture in the middle, with the teddy bear. I could just imagine a parent lovingly putting it in the backpack that morning and then … .
However, I’ve also become more sensitive to tragedies involving adults only. So, I wonder if it’s a natural development as you grow older.
I’ll say I’ve become more sensitive with age but I think I’ve also become more selective. There’s no benefit to me reading about some child being tortured by his parents a thousand miles away. It won’t make me a better person or more aware or whatever. Its only function is to make me feel sad or angry. When I was growing up, it wouldn’t have been national news at all – the only reason I see it now is because every local story is national and stuff like that gets page clicks and Facebook shares. So I make a conscious decision to skip it because it’s like poison junk food.
Skipping those news is the solution of course but, while I’ve always avoided Facbook, I can’t really avoid checking the news daily. I mean, I could of course but I still want to keep abreast of current events. Like you, I do wonder whether those stories would have made the headlines 20-30 years ago, unless it had been a really huge event.
And with cameras in everyone’s pockets nowadays, it’s almost impossible not to have pictures of all those tragedies.
Oh sure, but there’s no reason for me to click on “Albuquerque Toddler Found Burned In Dog Cage” when I see it on a list of stories. Especially when I live in Chicago.
I’m the first to say not-and-less. I guess either the years and the number of sad events I’ve lived through have desensitized me or age has lowered my hormone levels to where it doesn’t show as much effect as it did or make the impact it used to.
Definitely more sensitive in many areas. Sad news stories are the worst but even just in the types of movies I watch. I don’t like as much violence and gore when before I kind of enjoyed that sort of thing. Funny videos of people falling mostly make me wince, now.
I am kind of glad that I have become more sensitive with age though because I used to have a real problem with empathy and felt very dissociated from the suffering of others.
I’m as callous as I ever was, which is an occupational hazard for journalists.
When you spend your days dealing with murders, disappearances, and the like, it’s easy to forget that all of these things happen to real people with real feelings. Many turn to dissociation as a coping mechanism.
So when I’m talking to the family of a missing child I’m calm, sympathetic, and kindly. Then I get asked to cover it again day after day and at work I’m screaming “Come on, the kid’s in the river. Deal with it.”
And I use it as a teachable moment with my own children. “See what that kid did? Don’t do that.”
I’m not a parent, and I don’t know if this counts as “sensitive,” but I have less and less patience for things going wrong, or people having misconceptions, now than before. Maybe that’s the opposite of sensitivity.
I have gotten more sensitive about stories about children and pets, since I have children and pets. I have gotten less sensitive about people whining about their own stupid decisions and the consequences.
I am also a lot more sensitive about my lawn, so get off it.
I have always been too sensitive and hyper-aware of my surroundings. Thankfully I have learned to block what I don’t need to know. Weird side-effect, I walk around in a daze, so peeps leave me the hell alone!
I’ve never been particularly interested in reading the news and such, and have never been punched in the gut by any story. I’m not ruling out the possibility that I’m just a sociopathic bastard, but in any case that’s how I am and it doesn’t appear to be changing much.
I’m a parent, I’ve gotten less sensitive. I can let small stuff slide and only big stuff that I can do something about gets my attention.
Yeah the news is depressing but I think that’s largely because there is so much of it. Although there is a lot of negative talk and social turmoil, the standard of living for most is better than ever overall.
I’m pretty much here as well. I see headlines about abusive parents, or some bus accident, and I have to skip over it. What do I do with the information? I’m already trying as hard as I can to be a kind person and teach my kids to be kind. Does it help me in any way to get the details on some horrible thing happening far away?
I’ve also become much less interested in violent movies. I can tolerate small doses of old-movie style violence, where cowboys lose bloodless duels and fighter planes explode behind hills, but that’s about it.
Becoming a father has been part of it for me, but I’m also struggling with depression, and I just don’t need that kind of crap in my life right now.
It’s interesting that you focused on the parent aspect of increased sensitivity. Yes, after I had my own kids, I become more empathetic (I don’t think “sensitive” is the right word). But also, as I have had more life experience, I gained a greater appreciation of the value of life and the impact of its loss. It’s hard to understand, really understand, the sense of loss that someone feels after a death if you have never known anyone who died. But after you have more experiences, you gain more empathy for people who are now having those experiences.
A teenager playing a realistically violent video game doesn’t understand why it is viewed with horror by someone who lost a family member in a shooting.
Feeling bad about things that happen to children because you are now a parent is only part of this process.
Yeah, I went with “parent” angle because it seemed the most likely explanation in my case, although I wasn’t sure whether just getting older also factored in the phenomenon.
Now, my poll is hardly scientific but from the way the answers are spread out, it does seem that being a parent might be a an important factor : 60% report having become more sensitive (19% the same and 21% less) whereas for non-parents the numbers are much more even (33%, 43% and 24%, respectively).
The part I bolded is a very good question. I’ve never really thought about it this way. Staying informed is one thing but what value do I get out of everything I read ?
I used to be a human cyborg. A few years ago, I found myself watching Toy Story with my oldest kid who was 4 at the time, and crying my eyes out through much of it. I can randomly tear up at times as well. I never would have imagined myself to be like that.
My extremely cynical take is this -
[ul]
[li]All media exists to make money[/li][li]This includes cute pet videos as well as stories of tragedies[/li][li]They make money by capturing and holding your attention[/li][li]The most effective way to capture and hold your attention is to engage your emotions[/li][li]Profit![/li][/ul]
So, any time you find yourself reacting to something you receive through the media, either in a positive or negative (sensitive) way, you are making money for them.
Keep that in mind when you are evaluating the value you accrue from perusing any media. I find that this makes me shy away from emotion laden presentations. I prefer dispassionate information. (However, I also recognize that this preference is its own trap, yah?)
I’m a non-parent, and my answer is not so far. On the other hand, watching/reading sad things has always made me wobbly, so it’s not as though tearing up over a depressing news story is anything new.
I do mean always: I recall being in college and sobbing over a nature special because a baby monkey fell out of a tree and died, and his poor mother was just so sad…PMS may have been a factor. Not terribly long after that 9/11 happened, and I spent the next morning before work crying when they scrolled through the names and ages of the victims, bursting into fresh tears when they got to someone my age or the ages of my preschool students.
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