Sitting here watching the news and then ESPN I realized two things that I do now that I’m older that I never gave a thought about when I was younger.
Lots of things I knew I’d care about later, like homeowner stuff, or taxes and such. But these surprised me.
The first is that I never used to watch the news. I didn’t even think it was an old person activity - I just never thought about it at all, other than it was boring.
The second is that I know an astonishing amount of coaches from when they used to be players. In my 20s I knew maybe two or three. In my 40s it’s more like 50.
News radio. Not talking idiot politics radio (I’m old, I’m not THAT old!) but all talk news radio. I remember thinking my grandparents were the most boring people in the universe, as evidenced by their car radio being constantly on WBBM. Now, mine is, too. It’s amazing how interesting traffic reports can be when you drive all over the city for your job. And news dispensed in 30 second soundbites that repeat all day? Perfect.
Sore cracking feet joints. I expected it of my knees, but I didn’t know how achy old feet can be. Doesn’t seem to matter if I’m on them or off them all day, they’re still sore and popping by dinner time.
Water used to be free and porn cost money. Now water can cost more than a soda and with just an internet connection I can watch all the porn I want for free.
Recently at a party I noticed myself, and many others, having a lot of conversations about home improvement, politics, and other boring shit. I remember as a kid wondering what all that boring stuff the adults were talking about was, and now I know.
I really don’t feel any different than I did 40 years ago. I remember once figuring out that I would be almost 60 when the year 2000 thousand came and deciding that I’d be too old to celebrate.
All the damn farting. Swear to god I became a walking methane factory when I hit middle age. Other than that I feel pretty much the same way I did at 25, which surprises me since I heard for decades about all the aches & pains and stuff that would develop. I guess if I had to pick I’m probably better off with the flatulence.
The older I get, the more popular cultural references go right over my head. 90% of celebrities I hear about, I don’t know what they look like or what they are famous for.
Some cartoons are no longer funny. I remember my mother not enjoying Bugs Bunny cartoons when I was a child and I couldn’t believe anyone could not find them hilarious.
One positive thing, I now understand some words of some songs that were popular when I was a teen. Even with my sharp teenage hearing, those little transistor radios we listened to back then did not compare to the quality of the sound we get now and there was often a phrase or just a word or two that I could not figure out. I do admit that it is also useful to find the lyrics on the net if the words are still obscure. Forty year plus mysteries now solved.
I spent my teens just freaking out about everything and now it takes some work to get me upset about stuff. I still get angry and upset about some things, obviously, but I find myself more and more saying, “Meh, whatever” to lots of things that would have driven me mental at 15. Teenage me would have given herself a stroke over all of the things that I’ve learned to let go of over the years.
Bugs Bunny cartoons are still funny. They’re timeless.
I’ve noticed I watch historical dramas now. When I was a kid I only watched things that were funny, or were intended only for kids. Now I frequently watch people in big moustaches and tweed suits solve mysteries as they ride around in horse-drawn coaches.
I’m beginning to see the pattern. Our first TV, you plug it in and get free programs, but now you have to pay for them. Then came internet, with Freenets, but they’re all gone and you have to pay for internet. Now I’m being informed that there will no longer be any Free Chat (voice or cam) and I have to pay for a Skype subscription in July. Road maps. Flight baggage. Air for tires. You even have to pay the Walton Family an annual fee to shop in their store. The list goes on and on.
Count yourself lucky, I have developed Boris Spassky eyebrows. Not severe, but I never had to trim them before to keep that one from curling unpleasantly into my eyelid.
Check with the bartender, I think he has another one for you.
Used to be, at family gatherings, all the “old people” would sit around a table and talk about their diseases, medications, surgeries and Medicare . . . especially the “Donut Hole.”
Well, the torch has been passed.
Oh, and gray eyebrow hairs? How about gray nose hairs? I swear they glow in the dark.
Everybody on a bicycle rides faster than I do.* Including* people my age or older, because they’re fitness nazis if they’re doing it at all. Except me.
Maybe trauma, but it is very easily remedied. Just take a soft to medium file and file over the nails untill the ridges are gone. As that makes your nails somewhat thinner, make sure to apply strenghtening nail polish. If you’re a guy and want to look natural, use matte polish, which is completely invisible.
Filing down your nail ridges takes years of your hands.
Now, if I could find an easy and cheap solution against those brown liver spots
on my hands…
Some of the guys won’t admit this, but the blazing testosterone fires I’ve been dealing with since the teen years, have been turned down to a simmer. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still up for it, but it isn’t the end of the world if I don’t get laid on any particular night.
What surprised me was how this results in an almost tectonic shift in the balance of power in the marriage. An activity or action on my part that annoys the missus (to the point of withholding) is no longer off limits. I can do without for awhile now. If I decide to go fishing or hunting for a week with my friends, or ignore certain chores around the house, the inevitable result has little effect on me. I can wait.
When I was younger, I would never have believed this would be a good thing. But I’m surprised at how much more laid back I am now.
