Getting out of jury duty

Factual Questions
1

Okay… I finally got a notice in the mail. I’ve been selected for jury duty. Normally, I’d be inclined to do my civic duty and serve, but this comes at a really inopportune time. I’m launching a consulting business (one-person, home office-based) and I simply can’t spare the time away from the office.

I’ve heard of jurors being excused for business reasons, but I’ve also heard that the courts are less likely to let people skirt their obligations for business reasons these days. So, my question to the dopers: Is there a sure-fire way to get out of jury duty (quickly, on the first day)?

Better yet, what can I do to get out of jury duty permanently? Can I get up in front of the judge and claim to be some sort of mentally unstable misanthrope who is likely to recommend “the chair” for the slightest jaywalking infraction? Will this get me dismissed forever?

“Hand me my wallet…It’s the one that says ‘Bad Motherf**ker’ on it.”

2

The easiest way to get out of jury duty is to reply to every lawyer’s question with just one phrase:
“Hang 'em.”

3

I don’t know where you live, so it may be different there, but my sister got out of jury duty for being preganant ( I didn’t know that impaired your judgement!) and my mother avoided it because she was medically unfit to sit down for long periods of time. They both appealed (is that the right word) before they had to show up and had no problems getting out of it. Also, you have to be compensated for loss of wages, and if you are starting a new business that relies completely on you, I don’t see how that can be done. So I think you have a good chance of avoiding it.

4

This is guaranteed to work, so pay very close attention to this story:

I was called on jury duty 8 years a go where the case was a kid who was injured riding a motorcycle made by a Japanese company. The family was suing the company for the kids injuries.

Being a real estate salesman at the time, as you can imagine, the crummy 65 bones a day that Uncle Sam was willing to shell out for my civic duty was NOT going to make up for a month’s worth of lost sales.

What happened was that the two lawyers started questioning the jury, asking if there was anything about the case that would prejudice the prospective jurors.

I immediately raised my hand so that I could tell the attorneys that I hated Japanese motorcycle companies, so therefore no mattter what, I would find for the plaintiff, which of course, would guaratee that the defendant’s attorney would NOT want me on his jury. Unfortunately two other guys were called on first, with the same story.

Knowing that it would look real suspicious if I came up with the same excuse, I gave another story. I said that I thought Japanese products were SUPERIOR to American products, and that if the stupid kid got hurt, it HAD to be HIS FAULT.

The plaintiff’s attorney giggled and said that I would definitely be someone he would NOT want on his jury.

Needless to say, me and the other two guys were not selected by either attorney.

I felt bad for the kid and his family who were in the courtroom when this took place, but hey, I had to get back to work!

Bottom line: Do all you can to make sure that one of the attorneys would be convinced that you are hopelessly prejudiced in the case.

One disclaimer: keep in mind that if you LIE to get out of jury duty, you could be found guily of perjury.

I of course, maintain my firm belief to this day that Japanese motorcycles are better than American ones, if you smell what the Rock is cooking.

Good luck!

5

Recently discussed here:

Unorthodox ways out of jury duty

Jury Duty

No habla ingles & jury duty???

When will all the rhetorical questions end?

6

I’ve served on several juries and am normally happy to do so, but at one point I was called when I was working completely on my own as an independent consultant. When I was called for a panel and the judge asked if anyone would suffer hardship for being on a trial for three weeks, I raised my hand and simply told everyone the truth - that nobody would be paying me during that interval and I had a family to support. Everyone graciously let me off.

My wife was on a jury panel and was similarly let go when she explained that she was running a one-person office and that her little company would essentially have to shut down while she was on a jury.

Just explain to them what your situation is. They’re not ogres, and they understand when nobody’s there to cover your salary.

7

Wanting a pass on Jury duty this time is understandable. You are launching a business that requires your full attention.

Getting out of it permanantly is certainly shirking your civic duty. Before you scoff this of as some meaningless metaphor for “screw you out of a days pay”, consider this.

You get a return for your time. You are guarenteed a jury trial by your peers in the constitution. If the jury pool does not consist of you and others in similar situations, this right is a meaningless one.

Sure it is a pain in the ass, and the compensation, well, isn’t. But the alternative would be to have juries composed of people too stupid to dodge jury duty.

8

George Carlin said: “People lie to get out of jury duty. You don’t have to lie! The best thing is just to look at the judge in the eyes and say, ‘Your honor, I’ll make a great jurist because I can tell guilty people just like that’!” Works for me!

Yer pal,
Satan

http://www.raleighmusic.com/board/Images/devil.gif

I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR:
Two weeks, two days, 14 hours, 5 minutes and 12 seconds.
663 cigarettes not smoked, saving $82.93.
Life saved: 2 days, 7 hours, 15 minutes.

9

This is a true story.

I was called a few years to serve on a jury that was trying a town marshal for drunken driving. I merely said I thought the guy was innocent and was only being prosecuted because of politics. This was not perjury as I honestly believed it (and still do to this day).

The defense attorney wanted my ass on that jury, but the prosecutor succeeded in having me struck.

10

You can postpone your jury duty one week [might be one month] with a phone call.

To get out of it completely, take a candy bar or soft drink out of a store without paying for it. Wave to the clerk. Eat/drink it outside the front door and wait on the cops to show up. If you have been convicted for any theft, you are not eligable for jury duty.

11

I got out of jury duty twice when I was in college. Each time I got out of it by submitting a letter explaining that it would adversly affect my studies if I served.

-Dragwyr
“If God had meant for man to eat waffles,
he would have given him lips like snowshoes”
-Rev. Billy C. Wirtz

12

The following excerpts from the Trial Juror’s Handbook, as prepared by the Office of Jury Commissioner for the Commonwealth (of Massachusetts), March 1998, Sixth Edition. This handbook was received in early January 2000, so it should be safe to assume that this is also the latest edition available.

The following excerpt is from the Summons for Juror Service, which is attached to the confirmation form you must return:

All boldings are from the original documents. Taking everything into account, and if the rules are the same for you, I think you should just have your date of service postponed. There are no strings attached. I suppose you try to wiggle your way out of jury duty completely by pretending to be unfit for service, but why go through all that trouble?

13

I got called three times in one month in '99 where the person above mentioned we already talked about this…:slight_smile:

14

My professor for my class on Plato was very excited to serve on a jury on a significant case, and got his wish: a murder trial.

Unfortunately, when he filled out the pre-selection questionnaire, he listed one of his regular periodicals as “Philosophical Quarterly”.

When the time came, the defense attorney excluded him without asking a question. They took a break , and my professor ran into the defense attorney in the bathroom.

He asked the attorney why he’d been excluded. The attorney said that he had listed “Philosophical Quarterly” on his questionnaire, and he automatically excludes anyone who demonstrates an elevated reading level because such people don’t listen to the lawyers. Instead, they try to figure the case out for themselves, making the arguments of the lawyer futile at best. The attorney was choosing a jury in front of whom he felt he would be able to effectively argue.

Never attribute to an -ism anything more easily explained by common, human stupidity.

15

I got called one February when I was in college. I explained to them that I had classes that weren’t exactly easy to miss, and they agreed to postpone my duty.

The way they talked, I thought when they said “postpone”, they meant either indefinitely or until I was out of college. No, they called me in July. I was taking Organic Chemistry that summer. I tried to explain this to the judge, but she just got all huffy with me and refused to let me out. She did at least excuse me on days when we had tests.

I only got called twice. I had always heard that students tend not to be picked, since lawyers don’t want people who demonstrate any ability to think for themselves. I dressed to look as much like a student as possible, complete with backpack and Organic book prominently displayed. As it happened, the trial was pretty open-and-shut, so they didn’t strike anybody, and I got picked. Fortunately, it only lasted one day.

The second day could have been a lot worse–it was a murder trial. We had been sitting there for three hours when the judge finally came back in and said they had reached a plea bargain and we could go home.

I can only say one thing, though–65 bucks? Hell, at that time, for 65 bucks, I’d have been begging to get on the jury. We got $15, and had to pay $3 to park. (This was only three years ago.)

Dr. J

“Seriously, baby, I can prescribe anything I want!” -Dr. Nick Riviera

16

Last time I was called in Harris County, Texas, compensation was $6/day (~5 years ago). Also, in Texas, just being enrolled as a student exempts you.

17

I’ve heard this before, and in the context of a ‘given’ rather than any kind of particular tactical invention.
I’m looking forward to the opportunity to be a part of the judicial system someday - but that hasn’t stopped me from brainstorming a reading list that should spring you early from the jury pool:

‘Crime and Punishment’
‘The Fountainhead’
‘Protocols of the Elders of Zion’
The Unabomber’s ‘Manifesto’
anything about the Simpson trial
‘Leviathan’
‘Speak English in 60 Days’

18

“They arrested him, didn’t they?”
That line seems to work during jury questioning.

19

In California, jury duty only pays 5 dollars a day. However, you can be excluded if you have a family member (including by marriage) who is lawyer or in any law enforcement profession.

20

I don’t think most of this would work from my last jury duty experience (a little over a year ago).

I served in Los Angeles County, and I don’t think that any excuses you give when you’re being selected for a specific trial would work there. They’d just send you back to the waiting room and you’d have to serve the rest of your duty there. The only way you would benefit is if you knew that the trial would be longer than the number of days remaining in your service. (Sometimes you may know this, like if it’s a complicated murder trial or civil suit).

Also, spooje, my sister is a lawyer, but that didn’t get me out of serving on the jury even though I mentioned it during jury selection.

“It seemed like a good idea at the time…
…but then again, so did the atomic bomb.” -Charles Sismondo