GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra

It’s a good thing they didn’t mention the title until the end of the ad or I would’ve tuned it out. I’m of the last generation before any iteration of GI Joe (I was 10 and thought he would appeal to the subgroup of guys who played with their sisters’ Barbies, not that there’s anything wrong with that) and the appeal was lost on me, especially when he stopped fighting Japs and Krauts, like a proper toy soldier, and started fighting…I don’t know who. Let’s just ssay that I was probably married by the time he got his first show and he was never a part of my life. Then came the ad.

“Oh! Chris Eccleston! This movie looks awesome! Kids, you asked the other day who Dennis Quaid is. He seems to be the general. This may be the greatest movie of all time. I wonder what it is? GI Joe?!?!?

A daughter speaks for us all when she said, “I hope there isn’t a lesson at the end.”

Oh cripes, now they’re making big budget movies about toys???

I can just see it:

“Etch-a-Sketch: The Final Shakedown”

“Play-Doh: Attack of the Droopy Worms”

“Weebles: They Don’t Fall Down”
All of the above should be read in the scary deep voice of that guy who died recently who I can’t remember his name.


An international terrorist organization with a snake fetish. Also, GI Joe no longer a single person at that point, rather the name of a team.

Is this a woosh, or did you completely miss Transformers, one of the biggest hits two summers back? Which has a sequel this summer, BTW.

If the '90s were the decade to make tongue-in-cheek movie remakes of cheesy '70s sitcoms, the '00s must be the decade for making big budget action movies based on '80s Saturday morning cartoons.

Mercifully my mind had blocked it out. Thank you for bringing back that craptastic memory.

So I was right when I spotted Christopher Eccleston in that preview? As a bad guy? Oooh this has possibilities.

Well, until I heard GI Joe I was thinking: “Hmm, cool but vapid, cheesy fun summer action movie” . So, it looks like popcorn chomping fun. But Gi Joe?:eek:

Whatsamatta with GI Joe? He’s a real American hero. I don’t see how that invalidates the “cool but vapid” assessment, either. I suppose it’s less interesting if you were already grown-up when the cartoon was on.

I gotta see this. Dennis Quaid is awesome.

Yeah, I had one of the original 12" action figures, I thought the cartoon was meh. But I wasn’t 12, either, so…

I can remember a time when the best thing in the world was getting a GI Joe vehicle and figures for Christmas.

Oh, god, I just remembered one episode I had taped. The team had received a communique that the Viper would be coming to their HQ, and everyone was freaking out about it. Some Cobra operative they’d never heard of, and he was coming right to their HQ. The whole episode went on that way, and when it was finally time for the Viper to show, the team was outside the HQ in force, ready for a giant battle. …And this little, harmless-looking old man walks up. “…Are you the Viper?” “Yes. I am the vindow viper. I’ve come to vipe your vindows.” :smack:

Not the most action-packed episode ever. But I remember it fondly. That was when I learned what a pun was. :smiley:

I run a little event at Orycon every year called “Cereal & Toons”. It’s a Saturday morning get together where I serve up sugar bombs of every variety and show everything from Bugs Bunny classics to Beany and Cecil to the original George Of The Jungle. I usually end the show with this episode of G.I. Joe, and it always brings down the house.

More specifically, it’s a ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world.

I knew that.

Oh, I remember that one! The vindow viper’s difficult-to-understand English kept unintentionally helping the Joes. He quotes his price, but the Joes interpret the number as a set of coordinates, and they find a secret Cobra base. He says “top corner,” which is where he normally starts washing, but the Joes decide that “top corner” is code for West Point, where they show up just in time to disrupt a Cobra attack.

Yea, that’s right! The name of a Team. The code name for America’s daring, highly-trained special mission force. It’s purpose: To defend human freedom against Cobra…

I actually can’t wait for this movie although I am a BIT upset to see a Wayans brother in the movie. Don’t care for any of them at ALL. And Eccelston is playing Destro. They better have him wearing his mask dammit! I can’t wait to see Cobra Commander myself. I had the littlest bit of a crush on him as a kid.

And that’s half the battle.

You know what sold me on this movie? That Cobra Commander was played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt! A really good actor who has a track record of usually making really good movies. I completely expect this to be a notable exception, but I am still suitably intrigued.

One of the best parts of that episode featured a scene where we intrude on some senior Cobra leadership members…apparently finishing up a brawl/interrogation session with each other, trying to figure which one of them was the “Viper”!

As a plus, a close look at a pile of books in the foreground of that scene reveals titles like “Physical Graffity” [sic] and “In My Time of Dying,” on some old leatherback tomes. :smiley:

Almost as good as the “H.S. Thompson Pharmaceutical Company” featured in another episode. (Double :smiley: )