Gift-receiving etiquette

In My Humble Opinion
1

Since Christmas is almost upon us, I thought it might be appropriate to ask this now. I’d like to know what I should have done in this gift-receiving situation, for my birthday last month.

My partner’s parents are nice enough to buy me a gift for my birthday though I don’t expect it or even particularly want it. However, the father is notoriously eccentric and, let’s be blunt, cheap, when it comes to gifts. But OK, they’re pensioners, and a gift is a gift (I would prefer they took the money they spent on me and actually got their only son a decent gift instead of, for example, wrapping up stuff he left behind in his room when he moved out and giving that to him for Christmas. Including a ponytail of hair from his long-haired days. I kid you not. This the year they gave his sister their old video camera because they’d just gone out and bought themselves a new digital camera – pensioners, my arse).

But I digress. A gift is a gift, the thought counts etc and so I accept whatever they choose to give me with gratitude and polite thanks. No matter what it is. So this year for my birthday they gave me a small book on insects. And I did think that was a little odd, since I have never expressed an interest in insects, ever. But a gift is a gift. And I’m sure, in our heart of hearts, we can all acknowledge we have at least once bought a gift for someone that we ourselves would want to get. Usually, that’s chocolate or candles or whatever, but, sometimes it’s a book on insects. Fine.

Throughout the course of the evening, it became apparent, from several comments, that my partner’s father was fully expecting to borrow the book back next time they went on one of their trips north, where insect life abounds. So, not only did he give me a book he himself would want to receive himself, he DOES want it for himself. To me, this goes beyond cluelessness to Homer-giving-Marge-a-bowling-ball rude.

Obviously long past the time to say anything, but IYHO, what should be done/said in a situation like this? Is it still kudos to the gift-giver no matter what, or can the gift-receiver ever speak out and protest?

2

Grin and bear it.
Buy him a gift you want andborrow it.

3

re-wrap it an give it back :wink:

4

Make sure that when he asks to borrow it for their trip, you can’t bear to part with it.

And get him a book about an interest of yours for the next gift you give him.

5

There are some gifts I never forget. Like a 50 cents box of chocolate covered cherries from someone who spends a lot on herself and who rec’d things from me that I knew she liked (and were much more expensive than 50 cents). But I digress. I agree with the above posts, and see nothing wrong with saying thanks but then treating them as they have treated you.

6

Lose the book.
He can’t borrow what you can’t find.

On the topic of whether you should make comment, it depends on your relationship with your partner. If they’re not too worried about receiving their own items (ie. the hair) as gifts, you probably shouldn’t rock the boat.

There’s too much nastiness around, so just accept the gift as a gift and move along.