So I did a Secret Santa with a group of friends. One of the things my recipient asked for was a large, expensive present for the apartment he shares with his boyfriend. I found out who his boyfriend’s Santa (we’ll call her Kitty) was and we agreed to go in on it together. However, none of us have a vehicle that can hold said large present. Recipient and boyfriend have family that could help them, but family does not live in the same city so it would have to be when they visited.
So we were stuck at an impasse - money to buy the present, but no way to get the present.
My solution was to buy a gift card and give it to the two of them. I asked my recipient beforehand if he was okay with that or if he wanted to go back to the drawing board and he was fine with it.
But Kitty doesn’t do gift cards. Kitty is big on physical things you can unwrap. Kitty is now unhappy with me for going the gift card route.
I’d normally side with Kitty but in this particular case the gift card is entirely appropriate. You have the means to get them the perfect gift, so just do it.
Maybe you could wrap the card in a big box.
And I hate to tell you, but Christmas is 10 months away. Why so early with this?
I’m against gift cards in general, and I also think that “secret Santa” presents should never be large or expensive, so I disapprove of everybody involved here. :p;)
I put “something else”. Generally I think you are right, but at no point did you confer with Kitty? It says you originally went in with Kitty, and then undercut her and did your own thing.
Yep. Since when does a Secret Santa gift recipient have any input into what they get? And don’t most Secret Santa gift exchanges have a pre-set dollar limit, so one recipient doesn’t get something for $100 and another gets something for $20? This entire arrangement smells stinky.
In the first place, the giftee was rude to request something so expensive and cumbersome. But if you made a deal with Kitty then Kitty should have been consulted before you changed that deal.
In my opinion, if possible you should return the gift card. Get a smaller gift card for your giftee only, with only the amount you would have spent before any request was made. Give Kitty’s money back to her. I think gift cards are nice and also just my opinion but Kitty could have been a little more gracious.
Actually the other way around - we couldn’t get together for this past Christmas until now, so we had Christmas in February.
Yeah, I voted no Santa, just a free-for-all, but the whole thing was about how we’d all like to buy expensive gifts for everyone but can’t so we pick one person and splurge on them and that way everyone gets the same amount.
You make a very good point. However, after I made the initial contact with Kitty, she left the planning in my hands. Once she checked back and asked for the status of the plan, and I told her we were trying to find the right time to get together. I exercised my best judgment and decided a gift card at the exchange is better than an IOU plan.
Now the interesting part: I didn’t get Kitty’s half up front because I haven’t seen her since, well, Thanksgiving.
Edit: To clarify on the present process, the gift limit was $100, the gift is an appliance and delivery is an extra $50. Before you laugh at the ‘expense’, this is a group of people in college or fresh out of it, so $100 is a lot.
Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to get other people appliances for Christmas.
So, was Kitty planning on wrapping, what, a dishwasher? I can see where she’d like to be consulted on getting a gift card that she doesn’t really approve of, but the reality of buying someone an appliance is that a gift card is a lot smarter way to go.
“Leaving you to the planning” doesn’t mean “don’t buy the gift at all”, at least not without checking with the other person.
As I said, you are in the right, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have at least checked with her. But if she wants to be miffed, she can be miffed. You just gave them free money after all.
Just how big is the appliance and how hard is it to carry home by train, bus or cab?
Just for the record I once carried a WASHING MACHINE from the store to our flat because the store wanted $30 to deliver it about a house about 800 metres away.
