I have a friend – a mid-twenties hippie, single mother of one, and freelance writer – that is having a divorce anniversary party this weekend. It has been one year since she left her husband, and she is celebrating it by having her friends come over for drinks and conversation. It will be a low-key, casual affair, and there are no expectations of gifts or anything of that nature, though I would like to surprise her with something.
The problem is, I have no idea what. I suck at gift giving, even with people I know fairly well, and she is a new friend. We’ve only known each other for about six weeks, though this is the fourth time we’re meeting. The standard would be wine, I think, but I’d like to be a little more original than that, especially since she doesn’t drink often and when she does, only two beers makes the room spin for her.
Does anyone have any cheap-ish and casual suggestions?
How about a pretty bouquet of flowers? She can pop them in a vase and everyone can enjoy during the party. You can get nice bouquets at the grocery story. I’m partial to sunflowers.
She’s sort of seeing a guy, so that’s a no on the massager. I also don’t think the flowers would be appropriate for the same reason, though I do like it in theory. I just don’t really want to give the wrong impression, being a guy myself. Flowers still have that romantic subtext that I just don’t feel comfortable expressing.
Flowers don’t necessarily have a romantic subtext, not if you buy a spring assortment or something. I mean, I generally buy flowers for my future mother-in-law and sister-in-law.
A book?
sparkling grape juice (non-alcoholic type of yumminess)
box of cookies - butter cookies or some such, no chips-ahoy
a small candy assortment
But really in your case I’d most likely go with a gift for the daughter, especially since gifts are not expected in this case. You can’t really go wrong with a gift for the kids. Nothing noisy, though.
I’ve got the kid covered. I found a stuffed triceratops at Goodwill a couple days ago, and gave it to her last night. She loved it, and I almost made her cry a half hour later when I noticed I’d left the price tag on it so I reached out to rip it off. She thought I was taking it from her.
As for flowers, I know it doesn’t have to have a romantic subtext, but my resistance to them are more about me than her. I am just not that comfortable giving her things that are stereotypically courtly.
Hope I’m not threadshitting, but I’m curious about how old the daughter is, and whether she knows Mommy is having a “Yay, I dumped Daddy” party. I’d advise everybody involved to tread lightly around the kid.
As for a gift… Original or not, a good bottle of wine is always a nice choice, especially for a party. It’s unlikely to go to waste.
I consider the whole party a bit odd, myself. I can see having a party once the divorce papers were signed or soon thereafter, but celebrating the anniversary of the divorce seems to be a bit obsessive. The whole point of a divorce is to move on.
My reaction to the OP is that it’s a light hearted event. If I were invited I’d bring a gift basket of products that celebrate their own singledom. Does Campbells still make “Soup for One”? Kraft Singles. Anything that emphasizes it’s one-ness.
As an aside to Omar Little, my parents divorced in 1974. My mom gets herself a cake every single year on the anniversary of the divorce becoming final.
Maybe get a nice journal and pen, and tell her she can keep track of her new life. Or a scrapbook.
Or just get her one of those numeral 1 candles, the kind you put on little kids’ cakes, and tell her she’s starting a new life. You can get them in the baking aisle of grocery stores.
Give her a certificate for a helping hand moving furniture or some other takes-two-people task in her future. I can guarantee that 90% of single women would enjoy that one.
Hah. I love this! Easily my most favorite suggestion. It even makes me want to bake a cake just to have something to put the candle on, and I don’t even bake.
I might combine your and Anaamika’s cookie idea, though, and put a candle on a tin of Danish butter cookies.
I like this one, too. I might do that instead.
While it’s an anniversary party, I doubt it’s going to be a focused event, rather than a generalized social event that is specifically taking place on that date.
As for her daughter, I don’t know. She’s young enough that she probably doesn’t, but she’s also incredibly precocious, and talked to and treated like an adult child, so it’s entirely possible.
In any case, while it might sound weird secondhand, knowing both of them, it doesn’t seem weird at all, and I am not at all worried about it. They have a rock solid relationship based on what I’ve seen, and I’m pretty impressed by it, even as someone who doesn’t particularly like children.
Try a gift I give for house warming: a self-inking rubber stamp with return address.
I got one locally for 10 dollars. If you’re creative you can make something creative. If not, they’ll have standard fonts to use. Turn around time is one day, usually.
I made a nifty one with my and my daughter’s name. Don’t use it much due to e-paying, but I use it at Christmas or when needing to put my name on something (like a pot luck dish).