My boss is having a birthday party outside of work and us workers are invited. Invitation says no presents but it still feels weird to show up with nothing. I guess I thought if I brought food or drink that could be used at the party it wouldn’t seem so much like a gift gift and would be less awkward. Or should I really just go with nothing? Maybe it’s too presumptuous to bring food/drink since it is not a potluck. Either way feels weird. Halp! I don’t have the best social skills either and am afraid I won’t know if I have committed a gaffe.
Bring a gift card, or some other small token item that you wouldn’t mind having for yourself. That way if you get there and other people brought gifts anyway, you have something. If no one else brought anything, you can use the (for example) Amazon gift card yourself.
That’s usually my go to idea when I’m not sure if I’m supposed to be giving someone a gift.
Food is good. Appetizer, or dessert (Candy or cookies). Something the host can put out if they don’t like it for themselves. It can be read as a party gift without seeming like a big over-reach. A nice, noncommittal acknowledgment of the occasion.
Thirded. There’s a good reason why a sensible supervisor would specify no gifts – (s)he doesn’t want to put employees/direct reports into the position of being required or expected to buy a gift for someone who (presumably) makes more money than they do. Attendance should also be strictly voluntary.
In fact, if the supervisor wants to throw a party for employees, it would be better if it were a non-occasion event, to remove the confusion and pressure.
Your boss did say No Presents, and only you can tell whether s/he’s the sort of person who really meant that. That said, provided your boss isn’t a teetotaler, a bottle of wine in the US is a universally acknowledged token of appreciation for their hospitality.
I would normally like Sunny’s idea of food, but your boss may have everything catered and organized. Your food gift could spoil. Booze generally won’t.
I like Joey P’s idea. Get a gift card, stick it in a birthday card and put it in your bag/pocket.If everybody else brings a gift despite the “no gifts” line–and I’ve seen that happen many times–you’ll be prepared and therefore more confident and at ease. Nobody else buys a gift? You have a cool gift card–or a gift for the next birthday party you’re invited to!
OR
Just bring a card, no gift. A card says you’re thoughtful AND mindful of the no-gift request.
If you feel you must bring something, this is the answer. If I specified “no gifts” and someone brought something, I’d be miffed, but a card is cool without being annoying.
How about a charitable donation in their name? Bring a card indicating you’ve done so. It’s not a “gift” in that the recipient doesn’t actually receive anything, but it’s still “something.”
Leave it in your pocket unless everyone else has a gift in hand. Seriously, no gifts means no gifts. It’s super embarrassing for your boss to feel like everyone felt obligated to give him a present.
I’d be miffed if I said, “no gifts” and you gave me a gift card. It means you explicitly ignored my request. And you can’t say, “I saw this and just thought of you”, which is the sort of gift people give at non-gift events.
I would say if you really WANT to give him something, make sure it’s very inexpensive. Home made cookies, a deck of playing cards with an appropriate image, a paperback he’d like. If you get him a gift card, (ugh) it should be for a token amount, like $5 for the nearby coffee shop.
Exactly. Even if the event is at a hired venue rather than the host’s home, bringing a bottle is a nice thing to do, even if it likely won’t be consumed at the event itself. It’s the quintessential ‘non-gift’ gift, because you are not bringing it as a birthday present, you are bringing it as a thank you for hosting the party. Even if the host doesn’t drink wine, unless they are opposed to alcohol for religious reasons, they can use the bottle in a similar manner next time they are invited to a party.
puzzlegal, I think nelliebly and FairyChatMom meant just bring a birthday card, not a gift card, i.e. no monetary value.
I think FairyChatMom was referring to a Hallmark card, not a gift card. You cared enough to stop at the store and browse the greeting cards but you didn’t actually bring a present.
I vote no gift but a card with a nice hand-written sentiment is fine. Respect that he said no gifts for a reason. If you absolutely feel you must bring something, bring homemade food that can be consumed at the party. Wine is a bad idea, especially if the party is at a restaurant or banquet venue because they won’t be able to serve it and then it is just a gift. A gift card is terrible. It says I gave no thought to this gift but this is the exact price of my bribe to curry your favor. Plus, it won’t work because he said no gifts and he really doesn’t want to get gifts.