Envy. You’re right it works! Except for MaryAnn. Which episode was that from, and can you lend me a copy? 
If the 7th deadly sin is envy, shouldn’t Maryann be assigned that?
The Seven Deadly Sins are: pride; covetousness; lust; anger; gluttony; envy; sloth.
I know that the Gilligan’s Island=SDS has been done but I don’t remember what the “official” correlation was. I’d put it at: Pride=Mrs. Howell; Covetousness=Mr. Howell; Lust=Ginger; Anger=Professor (by default, although I think Mary Ann could fit here too, except the Professor makes even less sense as envy); Gluttony=Skipper; Envy=Mary Ann; Sloth=Gilligan.
I vaguely recall seeing this done whereby Gilligan was actually God. Whatever.
Gilligan + Mr. Magoo = Mr. Howell
Gilligan over Mrs Howell = Mr Howell
It’s about time Cafe Society had a Dadaist thread.
Clock radio.
Gilligan x (George Jefferson - Fred Sanford) + Oliver Wendell Douglas = Mr. Howell
sloth = Gilligan
gluttony = Skipper
lust = Ginger
envy = Mary Ann
greed = Mr. Howell
pride = Mrs. Howell
wrath = The Professor
Let’s get our sins straight.
Personally I’d rather give both gluttony and wrath to the Skipper and leave the poor Professor alone.
Yeah, the Skipper was always hitting poor Gilligan, so he can represent wrath. He was also overweight (which is odd, considering that he should have lost weight being marooned on a small island), so he can also represent gluttony.
As for the Professor, he nearly always had the answers. While he didn’t provide food, he did know what was edible and what wasn’t. While he didn’t control the weather or volcanic eruptions, he was able to forecast them and knew what to do when they occurred. He also knew how to program a lost NASA robot and tap into a phone line and how to make lead clothing and makeup for protection from a radioactive meteorite.
But while he knew how to build a raft, he never did fix the hole in the Minnow. This means that the Professor worked in mysterious ways.
The Professor, therefore, was God (albeit a weak one).
Gilligan + Frasier Crane = Mr. Howell
Frasier is rich and pompous but a bit too acerbic to be Mr. Howell. But Gilligan’s general ineptitude plus willingness to please would cancel out Frasier’s misanthropic side, leaving a wealthy, somewhat snooty, but basically harmless old coot.
My theory was:
Mr. Howell- Greed
Mrs. Howell- Pride (They even mention her pride in one episode)
Professor- Sloth (you know, an arm chair scientist, just sat around doing nothing)
Mary Anne- Envy (of Ginger)
Ginger- Lust
Gilligan- Gluttony (those coconut cream pies)
Skipper- Wrath (always kicking Gilligan’s ass)
I made a thread about it once. One person replied. SIGH.
I’m disappointed nobody has brought the Symbol font to bear in this quest for knowledge.
Oh, and Captain Amazing, you win the “funniest response” prize.
If Zsa Zsa Gabor had a child with Gilligan, it would be a rich but goofy kid. That little boy would grow up to be a snob with a silly side, who would be dignified in ways, but still require a teddy bear by the time he reached adulthood. He would be too clumsy to actually do work, but it wouldn’t matter because he’s a snob so he would describe work as being “beneath” him.
The answer is clearly:
Gilligan + Zsa Zsa Gabor = Mr. Howell
yo mama+yo daddy+yo greazy granny with the hole in her fanny=happiness and a frozen tropical cocktail
an a bag of chips