Sexual Depravity on Gilligan's Island

Cafe Society
1

Another thread <pretend a link is here> mentioned TV sitcoms as porn movies. When I saw this I immediately thought of Gilligan’s Island.

I wonder how long it would have taken the castaways to descend into a nonstop orgy. Kind of like Lord of the Flies, with sex, and without the boys.

Discounting the fact that Mr and Mrs Howell are probably doing it already, I wonder what the order would be in which the players start bonking.

My guess :

1] Mr Howell boinks Ginger.
Tries Mary Ann, is rebuffed.
2] Ginger boinks the professor
3] Ginger boinks Gilligan
4] Ginger boinks Mary Ann :smiley:

Not sure what happens next…

2

Also, I wonder who be will the first one murdered.

3

Oh please, everyone knows that when the Skipper call Gilligan his “Little Buddy”, that there’s a ton of latent lust in there.

4

I dunno, I think Mr. Howell was a little too old to be boinking anyone. And if he did, first boink’d kill him…

5

We all know Ginger was a professional drag queen. Who the hell else would take that many evening gowns, wigs, high heels and false eyelashes on a three-hour tour? Ginger being a man throws the whole thing into a new perspective—were Ginger and Mary Ann having a fling? It would explain the Professor’s and Gilligan’s homosexual panic setting in whenever Ginger winked at them.

6

P.S. Mr. Howell was only 50 when they were shipwrecked in 1963—hardly too old for boinking! Lovey, I might add, was 63—good for her, getting a rich boy-toy to marry her!

7

Well, they didn’t look 50 and 63. He looked 70, she looked 85. :stuck_out_tongue:

8

I think the first thing would be Gilligan voted off.

9

I’ve seen documentary evidence answering this question provided on certain newsgroups (a.s.s., for one). If I weren’t at work I track them down for you; then all would be understood.

10

Thank you. Glad I wasn’t the only one thinking that this was the obvious first choice.

11

“But Skipper!..”

No.

I’m NOT going to go there.

But…
Why do you suppose that Dwayne Hickman only got that one movie after Dobie Gillis and he got several other series?

12

Five movies, not counting TV movies, actually. But it’s true Hickman’s career died a slow death after Dobie.

BTW, since Zelda turned out to be a lesbian, how about… Whoops, that goes in the porn sitcom thread.

From IMDB:
Doctor, You’ve Got to Be Kidding (1967) … Hank Judson
Cat Ballou (1965) … Jed
Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine (1965) … Todd Armstrong
… aka Dr. G and the Bikini Machine (1965) (UK)
How to Stuff a Wild Bikini (1965) … Ricky
Ski Party (1965) … Craig Gamble

13

Why do they have to pair up? Why not just get everyone into the lagoon, naked, and go buffet? :wink:

(I can’t believe this thread hasn’t been cited by a mod for bad taste, to be honest. Not that I’m complaining…)

14

OK, obvious-

Mr. and Mrs. Howell
Professor and Ginger

Skipper and Gilligan and MaryAnn- can you say daisy chain?

15

Hpw old is MaryAnn? Twelve?
What is Gilligan’s I.Q., thirteen?