[QUOTE=lisacurl]
Do you know what it’s like to be poor and working a job where you can’t just make phone calls at will? Guy is probably working a physically demanding job and just came home to collapse to sleep, trusting his sisters to take care of his kid and they got their signals crossed. Seems like these folks need some resources and monitoring from CPS, not any outrage.
[/QUOTE]
I’m not so much pissed at the fact that he didn’t check up on the kid for however long she was supposed to be with the aunt. I’m more pissed at whoever left the kid unattended at Chuck E Cheese with no clear confirmation from a family member that responsibility had changed hands.
[QUOTE=atomicbadgerrace]
Is this supposed to be a valid excuse for forgetting your kid? “He’s new… I’m new to this dad stuff…” Okay. Burger joints that hire fresh sixteen-year-olds don’t even buy that. “It’s a new job… I’m new to this having a job stuff… I was up all night… that’s why I forgot to come to work.”
And is this the accompanying justification?
And I’d be all about trying him for murder.
And that one act could have quickly turned him into an irresponsible guy. A good dad who loves his kid, but sucks at being a parent.
[/QUOTE]
Do you have kids? If you’ve had kids can you honestly say there has never been a moment you’ve sucked as a parent. Because if so, you are a far better person than I am - and every parent I’ve ever met. We all suck for moments as a parent.
But since you are such a superior parent, there are tons of children waiting for parents in this country through foster care and adoption.
[QUOTE=Dangerosa]
Do you have kids? If you’ve had kids can you honestly say there has never been a moment you’ve sucked as a parent. Because if so, you are a far better person than I am - and every parent I’ve ever met. We all suck for moments as a parent.
But since you are such a superior parent, there are tons of children waiting for parents in this country through foster care and adoption.
[/QUOTE]
I don’t have kids. I will eventually have a kid, thanks to adoption. My sexual preference is not conducive to procreation
That said, there’s a huge difference between sucking as a parent because you forgot about your kid’s band concert and forgetting that you have your kid in your vehicle.
So have you ever forgotten anything in your life? Been driving to one place, but got distracted and took your usual route to work instead of taking that left there? As a non-parent, I suspect you’re thinking ‘Your kids are so important it’s not possible for you to forget them for even a moment and you’d have to be a heinous monster to do it.’ but the reality is more likely that everyone forgets things and gets distracted and sometimes, that’s going to include things related to your kids. It’s not often that it’s your kid’s in the car, and it’s totally terrible if it is, but it’s not about being a bad parent or a bad person, it’s just the inevitable statistical outlier on the forgetfulness scale.
[QUOTE=jacquilynne]
So have you ever forgotten anything in your life? Been driving to one place, but got distracted and took your usual route to work instead of taking that left there? As a non-parent, I suspect you’re thinking ‘Your kids are so important it’s not possible for you to forget them for even a moment and you’d have to be a heinous monster to do it.’ but the reality is more likely that everyone forgets things and gets distracted and sometimes, that’s going to include things related to your kids. It’s not often that it’s your kid’s in the car, and it’s totally terrible if it is, but it’s not about being a bad parent or a bad person, it’s just the inevitable statistical outlier on the forgetfulness scale.
[/QUOTE]
Of course, I’ve forgotten many things. I maintain that forgetting leftovers from last night’s restaurant in the backseat is much different than forgetting about your kid.
[QUOTE=tomndebb]
Not a good thing, but hardly a sign of major neglect or stupidity. (There are several Dopers with stories of having been left at rest stops on vacation and their parents did not even have the excuse that they expected that another family member had the child.)
[/QUOTE]
heh
[QUOTE=Luke 2:41-44]
Every year his parents went to Jerusalem for the Feast of the Passover. When he was twelve years old, they went up to the Feast, according to the custom. After the Feast was over, while his parents were returning home, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it. Thinking he was in their company, they traveled on for a day. Then they began looking for him among their relatives and friends.
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=atomicbadgerrace]
I don’t have kids. I will eventually have a kid, thanks to adoption. My sexual preference is not conducive to procreation
That said, there’s a huge difference between sucking as a parent because you forgot about your kid’s band concert and forgetting that you have your kid in your vehicle.
[/QUOTE]
I wish you luck on the adoption and on the parenting. And I promise that in the years when you are a parent, I’ll only snicker privately to myself and not sing “I told you so” too loudly when you have a “D’oh!” moment as a parent. 'Cause I’ve been there. Boy, have I been there!
[QUOTE=WhyNot]
I wish you luck on the adoption and on the parenting. And I promise that in the years when you are a parent, I’ll only snicker privately to myself and not sing “I told you so” too loudly when you have a “D’oh!” moment as a parent. 'Cause I’ve been there. Boy, have I been there!
[/QUOTE]
I’m not saying I’ll never have any D’oh moments. That’s most definitely a given.
Forgetting that your kid is WITH YOU is not a “D’oh!” moment.
[QUOTE=Ferret Herder]
To be fair, from the video it sounds like the guy was working the whole weekend, and also works the overnight shift so he may sleep during the day and leave without really checking on his family. He was the one who noticed on Monday that the girl wasn’t there and started pushing the issue. So yeah, he sounds a little mild about the incident but I wouldn’t be so quick to blame him.
[/QUOTE]
He sounds a little “mild” about the incident now, by the time the press got to talk to him. He might have been in a frothing rage ready to kill the mom during the time that he didn’t know where the kid was.
[QUOTE=atomicbadgerrace]
Of course, I’ve forgotten many things. I maintain that forgetting leftovers from last night’s restaurant in the backseat is much different than forgetting about your kid.
[/QUOTE]
Really? Qualitatively different? Or just way further down the continuum of things you’re likely to forget?
And what makes forgetting one thing, be it your kids in the back seat or whatever else is on that side of your qualitative divide, different from forgetting another thing, like that you have ice cream melting in the trunk? I’d prefer an answer that includes cites to the appropriate neurological research, of course, but even a handwaving argument that goes beyond ‘Because they’re your kids, man!’ would help.
Thudlow Boink, it is interesting that I almost posted that, myself, but I was afraid that there could not be enough recreational outrage in the world to handle that.
[QUOTE=jacquilynne]
And what makes forgetting one thing, be it your kids in the back seat or whatever else is on that side of your qualitative divide, different from forgetting another thing, like that you have ice cream melting in the trunk? I’d prefer an answer that includes cites to the appropriate neurological research, of course, but even a handwaving argument that goes beyond ‘Because they’re your kids, man!’ would help.
[/QUOTE]
Personal opinion that a child is more worthy of remembrance than ice cream. No cite, sorry.
Look at that word you used, ‘more’. That’s a quantitative modifier, not a qualitative one. Even your handwaving arguments don’t actually support your position.
