Avoiding dangerous places and times, being aware of who else is nearby.
Now that I’m 47, invisibility powers.
A couple times back when I was about 20 I needed rescuing, but once the attacker was one of my cousin’s friends and the other time it was a couple who had started off asking for directions, in a wide avenue and at noon - neither was a situation where I was expecting to be attacked. First time I got rescued by some nearby metalheads, second I slammed the door of the car shut on the woman (the man was driving) and headed quickly towards the only other person in sight; once I saw that the car was driving away, I went back to the market nearby, where I had friends.
My friend and I, and our SO at the time car ran out of gas because of a faulty gas gauge in a bad part of town and we got jumped by a group of drunks looking for a fight, about ten of them. We tried to deescalate it, they wanted no part of that and just wanted to beat the shit out of someone that night.
I resisted from using my keys until I saw one of them punch my gf who was trying to break up the fight out of the corner of my eye. Then I lost it, my friend and I got our asses kicked but I connected with one of them in the face with it. From his reaction it hurt and messed him up, he backed out of the fight clutching his face “fucker stabbed me”. To be honest if I would of had a knife or something else I would of used it without hesitation in that fight.
People came out of there houses because of the commotion, and thankfully when one of them said the cops are on their way was the only thing that stopped them.
My Wife once asked about perhaps, maybe,… a gun. One for her. Only for in the house mind you. A Lady Smith .38 is what I was thinking. Simple, easy, enough.
I took her shooting, and she is bar none the worst shot that I have ever seen in my life. I’m talking can’t hit the broad side of a barn bad shot (never knew this was a real thing until I took my wife shooting). She’s scared of the gun, and can’t seem to overcome it.
Oh, I could fix that I suppose. It would be a lot of work though.
We have two very protective dogs, and we have 3 cans of pepper spray in the house that has easy access. And a .357 for myself (I don’t carry)
While my Wife is small in stature, she is a triathlete. My advice to her is just put on the coal and run.
Like WhyNot, I am a home health nurse, but in a rural area. I use my position/status as nurse to a large extent as people know I am there to help. I do carry pepper spray on a daily basis, and if I am going into a bad area where I don’t know the people I have a CCP and a pistol. Several of my current patients are felons, and a good 85% of the homes I go to have guns in the house.
SWMBO and I are both 6th Degree Black Belts in Taekwondo. We teach women how to defend themselves. The biggest thing is to appear confident. Bad guys profile for victims, so we want our students to not fit the profile.
I have tried to replicate the ‘keys between fingers’ thing, but I always ended up feeling that if I punched something I was going to seriously hurt my own fingers. Maybe I was doing it wrong.
Apparently the trick is to hit them somewhere else to open them up and then go for the balls to finish them off.
You may seriously hurt your own fingers. Self defense of any sort is not a guarantee of not being hurt, it’s about minimizing hurt to you and maximizing hurt to the other person. You may scrape, cut or even break fingers…but fingers can be reset and skin heals. A gunshot to the head or knife across the neck has the potential to be more of a problem.
Balls are overrated, but if you go for the balls and they bend down to protect them, you can then easily reach their face with your fistful of keys in a nice uppercut.
Hey, I said mostly my strategy was to be nice. That doesn’t mean I haven’t considered how to be nasty if I need to. My keyring actually has an oversized looking “diamond ring”. It’s totally tacky, and the “diamond” fell out months ago. I keep it on my keys, because those wicked prongs will gouge out an eyeball, and it’s not legally a weapon.
My main issue with the keys between fingers thing is that I feel like if I did it and then ended up punching a relatively solid part of my attacker (forehead or other part of skull would be easy to hit accidentally if you were going for the face) then I am going to break my own fingers without causing that much damage to him. And in a self defense situation broken fingers has just deprived you of one of your main weapons.
I don’t carry a weapon either. Oh, there’s a knife in the car, but I keep that there to use to open packaging.
I don’t fancy that I can’t get assaulted, but like others, I practice situational awareness all the time, and try to be smart. It helps that I don’t go to bars and am rarely out late at night except in the car. I have taken a self defense course but it was long ago.
I am careful about being alone with people I don’t know too well and almost never invite anyone into my home.
I muse about this now and then. I live in a medium sized town (100K people) but I like city/town life way better than the country. I know how to navigate the dangers of town. In the country there’s spiders and bears. In the city, there’s a gas station every mile or so. In the country there’s…woods.
I carry a small flashlight taser. I have no idea if it would actually stop a dog from attacking me, as that’s really all I worry about in my area, but the noise alone is pretty scary.
I’ve lived in some bad areas, and have studied various martial arts on and off for half my life. Somewhere along the way, I developed “game face”. It’s not mean, or standoffish. It’s about confidence and appearing to belong. I walk with purpose, and if I take a wrong turn, I make it look like I did it on purpose. When I am a tourist in cities, I am often asked for directions.
Making the right amount of eye contact is key. Look engaged, but not curious, with the world around you.
For weapons, I have the aforementioned keys, but only ever get them ready if I am in a parking area alone at night. They would just get in my way, anyway, with the martial arts training that I have done (and with the particular defenses that I feel that I could use in the heat of the moment). What I have most of is the frame of mind that if somebody attacks me, I will not be an easy victim. However, I also have the frame of mind that I would rather give up my wallet than fight. I will fight to prevent injury to my person, but it’s not worth the risk for items.
Some years ago, my daughter and I took a self-defense course, but I’m under no illusion that it made us any safer. I have been physically attacked, and I know if it happens again I will go down just the same.
These days I am most often in the company of my very scary dog, or my very scary husband. The scary husband is armed. I can shoot the gun, but it’s rarely in my possession, nor would I be likely to think of it.
Thank you. Granted, I don’t care to have mine treated roughly but I have yet to find a direct shot to the pills to be as instantly and absolutely debilitating as is often portrayed. I can easily see overcoming the rage of an intentional hit to be more difficult than overcoming the discomfort, actually. As for getting a good shot in the first place, forget it. Even when play fighting with my daughters, (age 19 & 15) protecting the jewels is so fast and reflexive that they have yet to score a hit. In fact, if I see a foot coming, I grab it and they’re done for, and if it’s a knee it gets deflected and I grapple. Whatever the martial arts teachers may say, I believe if you’re good enough to predictably get a solid hit to the nads (and I think you’d have to be particularly good or your attacker particularly drunk), you’re good enough to get away from the situation without it. Heaven help you if you score a hit and don’t follow it up with a crippling knee wreck or bowling pin to the head.
Most responses I see in here involve situational awareness & avoidance as a primary defense–that’s so good to see. Based on my limited sampling, it’s what most guys rely on as well regardless of their size, strength, or training.
My self defense teacher told me never to bother going for the balls - men have been hit so many times as children the reflex is just way too ingrained. He said to stomp on the instep or elbow in the gut, but never to bother with the balls.
The biggest lesson was not the physical side of it anyway. The biggest lesson was the practice in remaining calm. Don’t scream “help! help!” no one listens to that shit. Shout firmly “I need help! I am not here willingly! Call 911” the last one being the most important, because when you say “Help!” no one knows what to do, but giving a direct order lets people know what they need to be doing.
I live in a very rural area on a ranch and have always carried firearms. in the pickup and on my belt . I’m am more apt to have to ‘defend’ myself from a rattle snake then a human . But I try to keep an eye out for snakes and such so if I come across one hopefully we see the other in time to avoid a confrontation .
Once, years ago I had to prove I had a firearm and yes it had bullets , when a drunken a** wipe showed up in my yard and didn’t seem inclined to leave when invited to do so. I let one round off into the air , informed him I still had five more where that came from. It did the trick he changed his mind and left my place .
A bit of FYI, for anyone who might think I over reacted to that drunk .
The closest cop shop to where I live is over 50 miles away and so it takes quite a while to get someone out here .
An example .
One day when no one was home ,thank goodness, my house was broken into and robbed , whoever did the deed trashed the place . I called the local sheriffs office that afternoon to report the break in. Three days later some one showed up. by then we had cleaned the mess up , thrown all the busted stuff away and put what was left back in the cupboards and closets, needless to say there never was an investigation , no one was ever caught selling any of the stuff taken .
I have lived here all my life , that is over a half of a century , and those two problems are the only ones I have ever had involving humans .
**Do you carry anything specifically to defend yourself, like mace, a taser, gun etc? **
No, nothing.
**Or do you do that ‘keys in the hand’ thing when you are walking alone at night? **
Nope.
And for extra credit, do you think that women should carry a weapon for self-defense, or do you think you are more likely to end up hurt by it?
Depends on the woman. Depends on their environment. Depends on so many factors, there’s no way to answer it. I think women should take whatever precautions seem reasonable to them
Another boonie dweller
I have a concealed carry permit for my home state and 7 others that do not practice reciprocity, my personal carry is a Sauer 38H. If I am in a state that does not practice reciprocity and I do not have a ccp, I lock it in my car, or if it is an open carry state I use a visible holster [though generally it is much easier to simply lock it up and not get out of the vehicle unless absolutely required. I am usually travelling through and simply leave the state as quickly as possible.] I lock it up if I am going into a location that does not allow carrying a sidearm [such as a military base. When I go to shop or pick up my meds at my local base I leave it at home.]
In my house, I have access to my sidearm, and also a lovely .22 hunting rifle for vermin [racoons, possum and the like are attracted to the poultry chow.] I have no problem being armed at home, being handicapped I have no reasonable expectation of escape or evasion and the cops are a rough hour response time so there is no help there either. We both shoot regularly to maintain proficiency [he has qualified as expert in handgun and rifle in the military and I would have if I had been in. Gun control to me is being able to shoot with proficiency and safety.] The youngest goddaughter is now a teen [holy shit :eek:] and I no longer have to lock anything up when they visit, and she has been learning to shoot and maintain firearms for several years now.
But this is a case where an ally could come in handy!
I am rarely out at night anymore but when I was in the city (at all times of day and night) I would just look purposeful and remote. I didn’t carry any implements. I can’t imagine fighting back so I think I would go with the fetus position/pillbug approach.
