Women: Has self-defense training ever saved you?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I got scolded today for daring to walk around in the city without knowing self-defensive manuevers. Apparently only women who feel confident they can take down a man should risk going outside.

I didn’t express my thoughts on the subject because I wasn’t in the mood to argue right then and there. But I’ll share them now: I don’t think I’d ever have a chance successfully defending myself against a man or anyone else who is dead-set on hurting me. Not using martial arts, at least. I’m just too weak and clumsy. A self-defense class isn’t going to take away these two hurdles. The best thing I can do is just mitigate my risk by walking where there’s other people (like avoiding alleys) and being aware of my surroundings. These habits have served me well so far. I’m skeptical learning “moves” would actually do much for me.

Self-defense training can empower people and give them confidence. But I really don’t help in these departments. Being a weakling doesn’t mean I’m afraid of my shadow. The woman who was “schooling” me seemed to take this as proof that I’m nuts.

Maybe she’s right?

Have you ever taken a self-defense class? If so, were you ever able to apply those skills in a “real world” situation (fending off a mugger, rapist, etc.)? I have heard of people fighting off their attackers, but I guess I just always assume those people are naturally badass and don’t need training.

If there’s enough anecdotal evidence that self-defense training is valuable, I’ll consider taking it.

2

I walked around campus with a palm stick on my keychain after taking a self defense class while in college. One shot to the eyeball and I could run away while he’s writhing in pain. No one ever messed with me.

But seriously, yes I think it can be beneficial depending on the class. Mine was not so much about slick moves as it was little tips and tricks like a rapist might change his mind if you can stick your finger down your throat and vomit, preferably on him. Kicking in the crotch can backfire if you miss and make him more angry. I can’t remember it all now, but I felt more informed and ready. I was tiny. Overpowering someone would have been impossible.

3

I agree on the fighting part. But a good class also teaches you how to minimize your chances of being attacked in the first place.

4

Totally unhelpful answer alert:

Yes and no.

No first: I’ve never been violently attacked, nor have I ever been in a situation where I was even *concerned *that I would be violently attacked. I have been groped and grabbed and “bumped” and catcalled and etc, but there’s really no point going balls-to-the-wall offensive on the random assholes of the world.
Now the yes: I would say that the ATTITUDE that is fostered in a good self-defense course (be that a favored martial art, actual traditional ‘use what’s available’ self-defense, krav maga, CWP, whatever) has been very personally helpful. And yes, I have availed myself of variations of all of those listed.

I was raised very traditionally, and very religiously. I was taught to believe that men were akin to gods, that I wasn’t as good as a man, and that my body existed as a temptation to me and others.

I was to defer always to anyone in power, and if someone in authority over me (ie, a man) told me to do something, even if it felt wrong, I was supposed to do whatever they asked of me to avoid a “spirit of rebellion” and let my father sort out the details later.

I was never taught to be aware of my body, or to critically evaluate my surroundings, but I was taught to be hyper-aware of other people (especially men) and to anticipate what they wanted, with the specific goal of being attentive to them and waiting to serve them/fulfill their needs.

Now, if you’re reading this and going; well, that’s not only fucked up, but contradictory as hell - you’re right! Also confusing.

So. Being in a class situation where I’m encouraged - TAUGHT - to be aware of my body and my emotions and my needs, being taught how to move and how to be situationally aware, being taught that I not only don’t have to submit and serve others automatically, but that I’m supposed to act in self-preservation, being taught how to preserve myself if necessary…

That’s all been very helpful, and makes me enjoy my life.

Do I think that I’ll be some Rambo, kicking ass and taking names if I’m ever attacked? Nope, but I know more about how to actively avoid situations where that’s more likely. I also know that the person attacking me is going to severely regret their life choices, even if it hurts me in the process.

Contrast that with the passive and anxious confusion of the younger me, and I’ll take possible physical pain and self-confidence any day of the week.

5

I took a class in college that taught some minor self defense stuff, plus a lot of awareness stuff. Like don’t walk with headphones, walk with confidence, look around you, do a 360 spin while walking to look behind rather than over the shoulder (less scared-looking, better view, lets someone know you see them there), cross the street if you think someone’s following you (and cross back again if they cross, to confirm), yell deep from the diaphragm rather than shrieking (the latter sounding like drunk younger gals tend to do for fun and thus ignored), don’t let yourself be taken anywhere if at all possible, that kind of thing.

I took it after I was assaulted. I haven’t needed to use any fighting since, but I use the situational awareness and other lessons still, 20 years later.

6

While not a self-defence course, I took a year of Pencak Silat in drama school. I also did capoeira in Brazil, though that’s definitely just dance and not self-defence. Never used my superhero skills, and it doesn’t make me feel safe. Keys in my clenched fist feel safer than possibly being able to swing kick someone in the head, and I didn’t need to be taught that.

Of course none of it helped when I was attacked. Attacks don’t happen in the dark alleys that we prepare for.

7

This is beautifully written, and I think at least parts of it apply to most women. I think what’s unusual about this description is not its content but your awareness of it. I, for one, identify strongly with what you’ve written here.

Once I went to a self-defense class offered by the city, but it was run by a macho karate guy who sneeringly told my friend and I that there was no such thing as self-defense techniques other than learning Actual Karate. Throughout the class he razzed the students about being weak, “Is that the best you can do?! It’s pathetic!” etc. I realize that’s a persona of a lot of sports coaches and is supposed to be inspiring but it’s pretty much the exact opposite of the empowering experience I’d been hoping for. I still wish I could find a good self-defense class for women.

8

When I was younger, the approach was to appear a less desirable target.

We strove to present ourselves as:

Can I keep a man from hurting me? Maybe, maybe not.

Can I for damn sure draw blood on anyone who tries to hurt me? Oh, yeah.

Did it work? Pretty much, yeah.

Self defense courses teach confidence and keep you fit to run fast. Good things. But there will always be someone out there who can kick your ass, no matter your height, weight, muscle mass, or gender.

You can live in fear or your can take back the night.

9

Yes. It did help one of my sisters taught self-defense for years.

Yes.

I will also add that I was several decades younger at the time, which makes a difference. I’m still in decent shape but I’m not as strong or fast as I used to be.

It’s not just about being badass. A good self-defense course will teach you how to avoid trouble, to use various levels of defense, and in general avoid needing to use your bad ass skills as much as possible. It’s also about knowing where to target, how to use your skills effectively, and practicing some moves. You need to have a certain basic fitness to effectively defend yourself physically.

It can be useful… but to be honest it isn’t always. I’m talking about martial arts type stuff. There are other forms of self defense as well but that’s not usually what’s meant by the term.

10

No, a self defense class has not saved me. I think my gun might have saved me once. I didn’t fire it; I yelled that I had it, and I did. Seriously doubt that I could have successfully aimed it at anything but I was willing to try if the person had continued breaking into my place, but he didn’t.

However, I did ghostwrite a self-defense book for a woman who taught it, and I sat through her class many times. I think a lot of the things she brought up were good things to know. For instance, statistically, fighting back is better than not. If someone points a gun at you and tells you to get into a car, do not get into the car as it’s much more likely they will do you harm in the car than that they will actually shoot you on the street. (Hmm, come to think of it I did use that one. Yes, I used to live in some lousy neighborhoods.) If someone grabs you get really mad AND REALLY LOUD because this has a lot better chance of getting you freed than doing nothing. Kick an assailant any place you can. Sure you can aim for the balls but they’re expecting that; kneecaps are also good, and whatever you do, do it for all you’re worth.

She taught classes geared for the handicapped, for old ladies, for kids. (Hit 'em with your backpack, hit 'em with your cane.)

Now, she also taught moves–not karate moves but dirty street fighting moves. She said martial arts were very good for discipline, body awareness, and conditioning, but for fending off attacks, not so much. About as worthwhile as ballet, she thought. (She also taught ballet.)

11

Wasn’t there somebody here that could break a man’s femur with a kick?

12

Not from an attack but being taught how to “break fall” saved me when I fell off a very tall horse. I walked away with no injuries apart from a slight sprain. It had been years since the lesson and I was impressed at how well I remembered what to do when I needed it.

13

Yes, I fended off an assailant.

14

I’m sure the awareness of surroundings is a big benefit of the classes and helps avoid being attacked.

Practically every night I see women leaving the gym after dark staring into their phones as they walk to the car, completely oblivious to who is around them. Even if they didn’t learn any self-defense moves, just learning to be aware of who’s around them would go a long way to avoid being attacked.

15

My workplace sponsored a class for female employees that was run by a married couple of police officers. The class was great and spot on. As a former victim of date rape, I had armed myself with a lot of knowledge about how not to be a victim again (and I haven’t been), but I was really surprised by how much my coworkers did NOT know. I think women should all find the time to attend a self-defense awareness class so we can avoid appearing vulnerable.

16

The self-defense training I received while I was working for the state was just enough to get me seriously wounded or terminated, I think.

I’ve been in several life-threatening encounters and relied on body language, words and instinct to manage them.

Perhaps if a person had intense training and a lot of practice it would be something you could feel confident about.

17

Nope, never

18

I haven’t taken a class. I have read stuff, taken advice given in threads like this, watched some videos. I do carry pepper spray and a wicked looking knife that’s just a smidge over legal length. As others have said above, I really think situational awareness, being obviously alert to others, walking with purpose and with a straight and tall posture, never wearing headphones or using cell phone while walking, are all things that make you a poor target.

I take the El after midnight all the time, I work second shift. I can’t tell you how many people, both men and women, think I’m crazy. I tell them you’re more likely to get mugged at rush hour. When I’m on the CTA, it’s mostly people like me or drunks going home after the bars closed, with the occasional sleeping homeless person. It’s very rare I’ve come across violence or problems, but it has happened. I can’t say whether that’s luck or that I’ve managed to carry myself in a way that people don’t mess with me, or in a couple cases, quickly changed their mind.

A woman who is willing and ready to speak up, yell, and demonstrates she is willing to defend herself, is far less likely to be a target. But that’s just my HO, and maybe I’ve just been lucky so far.

19

Years ago, my older sister was a flight instructor in CA. She had a guy try to commit suicide using the plane. She just barley saved her ass. She took to carrying a ‘church key’ a sharpened old fashioned can opener for beer cans & such.

She had to use it two more times in her instruction phase of flying.

At that time this type of thing happened to other female instructors that she knew. Never to the male instructors. She still thinks it was because of the perceived strength difference the sick people had about women

She talked 4-5 out of it without violence.

I kept telling her to quit instruction. She was getting all the crazy ones… She eventually did quit to go to work for Flying magazine.

20

I’m not a woman, but I’ve taught women’s self-defense courses, so I’ll offer that perspective. Yes, it is true that a determined male attacker can likely overpower a smaller woman. However, most predators look for weak and unaware targets for their aggression. A woman, even of small stature, who shows awareness and a posture of unwavering aggressive response presents a far less appealing victim for such scumbags. Self-defense training should emphasize this awareness, which is the first phase of defense (awareness, preparation, prevention, combat) regardless of the form or type of defense presented. Even if that alone isn’t enough to deter an attack, a determined resistance may fend off an attack even if the aggressor is nominally capable of overpowering the would be victim. Of course, the employment of a weapon which negates the advantages of size and strength, such as a handgun or Taser, can aid the defender but this is not always desireable or palatable to a defender.

The likelihood of being a victim of violent crime in your lifetime, especially in an urban area, is not insignificant and the consequences can be life altering, so it makes sense to make some preparations to improve your ability to resist or respond, but on the other hand, it doesn’t mandate changing your entire life outmof errant paranoia. This is like driving on the highway; pay attention, take sensible precautions like wearing your seatbelt, selecting a car with a good safety rating, and driving carefully or not at all in inclement conditions, but don’t just stay home or drive surface streets.

Stranger