I’m sorry, am I missing something? If you really have a problem with me/my grammar, I encourage you to take it to the Pit and kindly stop hijacking this thread.
I have mostly male friends, also. I have always liked being one of the guys. When I get together with my friends, that’s how I’m treated. Hanging out with my guy friends while drinking beer and talking about writing and books is one of my favorite things.
Not to mention, there aren’t many women who share my interests. The “mommy crowd” tend to think of me as somewhat weird. 
Sheri
Phew! So, it’s not just me. I can’t spend hours expostulating about cream colored curtains and recipes for yeast rolls and what little Dylan did. So there goes all the girlfriends I once had. I think it began because all the intelligent girls I met were trying to downplay it or act ditzy so no one would notice. This killed me! If you’re smart- revel in it. Wallow in your own sense of pride in your brain capacity. Guys do this. Bing’s sister is the first girl that will actually roll up her sleeves and duke it out at a game of Trivial Pursuit with me, but she even reaches a point where she checks her ego at the door. (Unlike yours truly.) So, here, I think we have the difference: MOST women are afraid to let their ego run unchecked.* And it takes a big ego to compete with mine.
*Notice I said most. Certainly, the women of the Dope are as confident as a roving band of cerebral Amazons.
Yay! More women like me.
Slang, my dial up is being a bitch today, but if you go to the Pit and search for “Take your Girlfriends and Cram 'Em” started by yours truly about 9 months ago…you will see one of the greatest discussions on this topic.
By the by, I do have a few more girlfriends now than I did then, but I made sure to find ones that were like me, or in the case of Nymysys, a mirror image. 
jar
Primaflora, I dont think this is an attempt necessarily to put different types of women down, its just noticing a pattern. I dont go into any relationships with either sex with any preconceived notions. Sure, I have a couple guy friends who only want to “emote”, and a couple girl friends who are completely idea-oriented, but generally, this is not the case. It seems to me that other posters in this thread have observed this too. I dont expect people to act any certain way, but they do, and more often than not, men and women tend to communicate differently. Its jut an observation.
Another note: to me, it has nothing to do with being girly-girl. I’m not a tomboy. In most ways, I’m about as feminine as they come as they come. I have long hair, big boobs, wear skirts most every day, have a tendency to giggle and pout, cooking is my favorite hobby, etc etc. However, you DAMN SURE are not gonna sit down with me and have a conversation about your FEELINGS, unless its absolutely NECESSARY, and even then, I’ll be squirmin’ like a puppy.
Turn off that Lifetime movie crap and lets watch Battlebots
or Discovery Health Channel.
I would rather NOT talk about men, kids, draperies, breakfast cereals, daily affirmations, etc. when I can tell jokes, relate funny stories, talk about politics, history, whether or not the moon landing was a hoax, etc. I notice that men are prepared to discuss almost ANY topic, while women are more likely to want to talk about themselves.
Men tend to be more about diversity and the lack of self-obsession.
At least, VOCAl self-obsession 
Lesbians.
::ducks and runs away as fast as he can ::
I don’t have five sisters. My parents had five daughters…one of them is no longer living, and one of them is me. So I have three living sisters. Two live in Alabama (a ten hour drive from my house) and one is borderline insane (literally). How much hanging out do you think the four of us get to do? On the other hand, I’m with the guys at least two nights a week, and my brother lives with me.
I totally agree about Cosmo. Maxim doesn’t take itself quite so seriously, it is very tongue-in-cheek. But I can understand why many women wouldn’t find it funny.
I’m not putting down women who are different than I. It usually works the other way around! I said “For me, personally, men just make better friends” and I have had female friends, but they “Always turn into these Alpha Females”, a childish behaviour that I no longer tolerate. I did later say that women are evil - but that’s only my opinion, and I stand by it.
The women I’ve known have been pathetic excuses for friends. They just didn’t know how to do it - everything deteriorated into a game of “Anything you can do, I can do better”. That’s not what friendship is about, is it? On the other hand, the guys have seen me laugh, cry, scream, puke, burp, fart, they’ve seen me with make-up, without make-up, dressed up, dressed down, and they let me be me without any harrassment. They know my strengths. They know my weaknesses, too, and they don’t throw them in my face the way women have in the past. I’m sure there are women out there who make great friends. I just haven’t met one.
For the record, I do not avoid meeting women. I have some casual acquaintances at church and work. My male friends have girlfriends who hang out with us from time to time. But I am not interested in building close relationships with these women. Once bitten, twice shy.
Scredle, You’ve described me perfectly. Were we seperated at birth?
Oh, and one more thing, everybody. I said I think I read the article in Cosmo, it’s been a few years and I cannot remember which mag it was. I only know that it was as Cosmo-esque magazine, which yes, we all know, makes it a feminist magazine. So no more comments from the peanut gallery!
[hijack]
Pre-op?
[/hijack]
Heh heh. I swear, I made more bad sentence constructions and outright grammar screw-ups in my post…
This is a GREAT self-esteem image. I will be using it often. Grrrr!
For what it’s worth, I read Cosmo so I can feel superior to all the “girls”. I like women just fine - and I think broads rock. Girls, however, make me snarl. And if I ever meet a real live Cosmo Girl, I’m gonna kill her and eat her. Y’all are invited to the BBQ.
I found the thread and read it, and I have a question -
Where do you all live? I want to hang out with you!
I had joined the MOMS Club in my area a few years ago, but finally had to drop out. I couldn’t take the constant conversations about poopy diapers and coupons.
I’m not crazy about football, but I do love baseball, and could very easily sit in a dark, smoky bar all day watching games, drinking beer and talking about cool stuff.
So, any of you in Maryland?
Sheri
My wife’s a GWG. She says she just can’t relate to a lot of women. She works rather high up in a corporate environment and she finds that she butts heads with women a lot more–they’re less open to criticism, they assume basic alliance because of gender (and regardless of performance), they are more apt to play mind-/powergames, etc. (I don’t mean to generalize; this has strictly been her experience in a variety of settings).
She’s a straight shooter by nature and finds that men seem to respond to this more easily. Although she often has to initially “prove” herself more to men in these work settings (she’s often on assignment or doing contract work different places), once she demonstrates she’s totally on the ball, she doesn’t have to contend as much with issues of jealousy with men as she generally finds she does with women.
She also finds she doesn’t have much in common with women socially. She hates to shop. She doesn’t wear make-up, perfume, or fancy clothes. She’s not into gift-giving or extraneous foo-foo. She’s not into kids (though she gets along with them fine, neither of us are interested in having them or discussing the minutae of their upkeep). This isn’t to say she’s a hardcore tomboy (she’s still a fantastic cook and still hates sports), but a lot of the “small talk” that women do in social situations she finds boring.
She has a lot of sisters, but none she’s particularly close to. She has a few female friends, but none she gets together with socially more often than once a year (unless you count the ruthless Eastern European ballbuster who’s also a GWG). My wife’s wedding party when we got married totally consisted of gay men.
I once asked her why women take so long in the bathroom. I was asking because she’s incredibly quick and is in & out of the facilities (public or at home) faster than any woman I’ve seen. She had no idea why they take so long in there (and thorougly discounted the “line” excuse), but admitted that because she’s not a very good “girl”, she’s not privy to all the inner workings of what other members of her sex are often up to.
Did I mention I’m crazy about her? She’s the best (and as a GWG married to a BWB, it means we spend all of our time together)
Im also a girl without girlfriends.i find it hard to keep female friends cos i cant keep up with their pretencious behaviour, they like small talk and competition…and many other things…talking from experience,cos a few iv had were very manipulative and liars.however since i grew up around guys, i kinda find them dudes very easy to relate to and very funny to hang out with…i can say most of my life iv been able to befriend guys better and easier than gals…um the only girl in ma family, outta 2 older bros…
And how frustrating that now i kinda have no friend cos ma boyfriend doesnt like me hanging out with other guys…and i kinda understand where hez coming from but i wish he cud understand that thats who i am.:(…rytnow um finding it hard to get girlfriends cos i dont trust girls a bit…they r users…jus wish i cud find the best girlfriend soon though…jus need a real friend…damn this sucks…
10 year old Zombie thread…I realized this thread was started on my 18th birthday! Wow!
I neither hang out with female friends or male friends. I really can’t get along with women.
I’m a girl without girlfriends or guyfriends. Both genders suck.
Girls do have a tendency to be self-centered, have a more prim sense of humor, and talk too damn much. Also, I cannot relate to their feelings-centric focus. They are very much about relationships and talking about them. I just don’t dig those things.
Guys, on the other hand, tend to be very competitive, with a penchant for raw meanness and grouchiness. They like to talk about the opposite sex a lot, but often in terms that objectify and demean (Man, have you seen how hawt she is?! She’s got a killer body, dude! I’d do her, yeah!") I can relate better to the masculine sense of humor, but even that can be annoying after awhile because often it descends into bawdiness and stupidity. Talkative men are not exactly rare, either.
I do feel comfortable around women who are like myself than men who are like myself. I would not want to be “one of the guys” because I don’t want to be the odd-ball in the group, if I’m going to be in a group in the first place. I don’t want to feel like I have to conform to the group to fit in; I just want to be myself. When I worked in an all male-environment where most of my co-workers were friends, they’d invite me to their social functions and I would go, but I always felt like–in order for me to be accepted–I had to do and say things I wouldn’t normally do, nor did I enjoy. The misogyny stuff that would slip out of their mouths would also annoy after all. I might not be “girly”, but that doesn’t mean I appreciate them telling me I throw like a little girl or listening to their sexual conquest discussions.
With women, I also feel like an odd-ball too, but I understand enough about them that I don’t have to feel so fake around them. If I don’t like where a conversation is headed, I know how either to back out of the room or change the subject. I know how to say “This is stupid, let’s talk about something else” without hurting feelings.
The best social group for me is one that is equal parts male and female. An all-gender group is usually no fun.
Count me in. I paddle, hike, garden, wade, skip rocks, wrestle the dogs and do other outdoorsy things. I’m unafraid of bugs, I’m not squeamish, and completely unaffected by jealousy. I find gossip to be completely distasteful, I have zero opinion on whether or not this girl or that one should wear more modest clothing, and I’m happy when a beautiful woman walks by rather than threatened. But I’m no tomboy. If I’m not on the water, I’m in a sundress. I wear a little lipstick, a little mascara, frilly lingerie. I like looking pretty.
My inability to relate to women has little to do with my hobbies and nearly everything to do with communication style. A linguistics course in college offered the idea that men and women (generalizing) have different communication styles: men report, women tend to use rapport. I have to admit I’m guilty of nodding, using encouraging language to elicit more information, and sprinkling conversations with positive words, but I’m completely put off when women attempt to elicit agreement from me.
“I really think that dress is unflattering, and she should wear less revealing clothing to work, don’t you???” random female co-worker says to me, nodding and hanging on until I agree and offer a critique of a defenseless target.
“Umm… I don’t care.” Of course, I don’t actually say this, but I’m mystified by co-worker’s interest and attention on someone she has no control of, no business attempting to influence, and no apparent reason to study/judge/sentence for crimes of fashion. Ever seen Kruger on Seinfeld? This is the voice in my head : Seinfeld - The Best of Mr. Kruger - YouTube
“Ohhh, I love this song, don’t you? And the lead singer’s hair? I liked it better blond. I can’t believe she dated Jesse James Federline Schwarzenegger. This song makes me think of the first time I shopped in Target, blah blah blah…”
“Umm, I *did *like the song, but you just beat it to death with ten unrelated thoughts I can’t follow.” (unsaid)
It’s not that I don’t see the value in female communication. It’s nurturing. Creates bonds, finds common ground. Smoothes ruffled feathers, warms up the room in some cases. It’s just that I find it tedious, and the apparent quest for concurrence irritates me. I’ve been worried my whole life that I’ll snap “NO!!! I don’t like this song and you shouldn’t care if I like it or not and no I don’t think 3 inches of cleavage is too much I think it’s none of your business and I want you to stop picking other women apart and no I haven’t seen Sandra Bullock in twenty-odd Rom-Coms I like action movies and stop analyzing what it meant when you discovered your husband entertaining himself in the shower and I want you to mind your own business and if you pick lint off my sweater again I’m going to shoot the place up!!!”
I would like to have more girlfriends. I like girly stuff in the right context, and in moderation. It might be quite nice to have a girl with whom to go to shopping occasionally, maybe have some lunch. But apparently I’ve a chip missing, and clearly…I failed social intercourse in high school. Guess I’ll just be out back with the fellas, using fewer words.
Same road, different direction.
I’m a guy and I really only have one close guy friend, but he lives quite far away. I might see him every other year.
My two best friends are girls. Well, one is a cousin, but I would have to say that she is my very best friend. We have always been very close. Use to share an apartment. The kind of friend where you don’t need plans to have fun.
The other is a girl I’ve known for 22 years. I use to work with her many moons ago. I trained her for the job. I can and do talk about anything with these woman. We often get together for a beer and just hang out.
My Wife has a fairly large circle of girlfriends, and I get along great with all of them. I’m closer to the women than the men at work as well.
I’m a reformed GWG.
When I was in my early 20s, I mostly hung around guys. I thought this was because girls were catty/shallow/boring/confusing/whatever. Looking back though, I have to admit the less flattering interpretation is true. I think I really was seeking out a dynamic where I was something “special” and where there were underlying sexual tensions and the attention that comes from that (although at the time I would have sworn up and down there were no sexual dynamics…yeah, right.)
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve made more girlfriends and now it is a relatively even mix. Once I got into social circles that are more like me, I’ve found a lot of really cool women who are sharp as knives, dance-all-night fun, informed as hell, and not at all obsessed with relationships- hell, most of them command a long list of booty calls that they take or leave at their whim. I’ve met some really, really cool people. Women don’t all spend their days reading People and watching Oprah.
I do laughingly think of myself as a “man-woman,” and I do tend to take a more masculine outlook on romantic relationships, conversation, friendship, etc. I’m certainly not a touchy-feely hugging type…I’m straightforward, fearless, and practical. But women like this are not exactly as rare as hen’s teeth.