I once read an article in Cosmo (methinks) about “girls without girlfriends” - women who don’t particularly enjoy the company of other women, and choose to make friends with those of the male persuasion. Since it was in a very feminist magazine, the article pretty much bashed GWG’s all the way through. Apparently, my preference for male companionship indicates a lack of self-esteem…I’m so hungry for male attention that I won’t even compete with other women to gain it. What I need, they believe, is a good dose of “Girl Power”. :rolleyes:
As a rule, I do not like spending time with women. I don’t see eye to eye with most of them - I tend to think more like a man does. The only women I get along with are other GWG’s.
I have a lot of male friends, which seems troubling to other women, and also to the man I’m currently dating. They think I am lacking something by not having female friends. But I don’t feel there is anything a female friend can give me that “the guys” or my three sisters can’t. For me, personally, men just make better friends.
Are there any other GWG’s out there, or am I alone in the boat?
You’re not alone, Slang. I too prefer the company of men. My male friends are more interesting than my female ones and I can relate to them more. Also, my female friends are stupider than my male friends (mean thing to say, but my male friends are very intelligent which is a quality I admire).
Count me in Slang. Like you, I have always gotten along better with boys/men. The whole “girl-talk” thing just mystifies me. I have 5 sisters, and 1 female friend (who, like you said, is also a GWG) and don’t feel like I’m missing out on much. Guys seem to be much more willing to say it like it is, and their point of view is one I am endlessly interested in. Add to that the fact that the clique-y political sniping I hated in HS seems to be an Olympic sport for many of the females I know and there’s more than enough motivation for me to stick to my guys.
So–in other words, you’re not a freak. Now put that Cosmo down and pick up that Maxim…
bella–who has never believed that visiting the bathroom should be a group effort
No, Slang, I’m with ya too. Dont get me wrong, I do have
female friends that I love, but I damn sure never wanted to join a sorority, and my girlfriends tend to be funny, sarcastic, ambitious, fun-loving types. I just hate all that “girl talk” stuff too. Girl activity? DOnt even get my started…well, ok, if you insist…
My former roommate was one of those girls who was big on female companionship. I KNOW youre not gonna believe this, but I swear I am not making it up. She and her closest friend used to go out to the beach together, write their worries in the sand, and (gagging as I write this) let the
waves “wash their worries away.” That, my friend, was their idea of FUN.
GAH!!!
Thats the thing about some girls. If you’re in a group of men, they talk about things, ideas, events, interesting stuff. However, there is a greater chance that a group of of women will be talking about…themselves. Ho hum.
Not interested…
We’ve had some very thoughtful threads about this in the past.
I too have always gotten along very well with guys. There were few girls in my neighborhood when I was growing up, and my best friend was a boy throughout most of childhood. The girls I got along with best were the ones like me who didn’t care a lot about makeup or boy-chasing but read a lot.
Going to an all-woman’s college helped me to better appreciate women. Partly it was getting women away from men and the way some of them act when a man is around. Even so, I tended to gravitate to ones who were a little less “girlie.”
Now that I am married, I find I can better appreciate the friendship of women, but they have to be women of my own choosing. I still enjoy talking with my husband’s friends more than I do their wives. But I make a serious effort to make connections to women, which is why I organized my book club and joined a women’s service organization. I think I’d be missing something without that sort of contact.
I once read a book about how men and women communicate differently. The more the author described the male style of communication, the more I saw myself. And the things she described women as being typically more good at were the things I have always struggled with (supportive listening, small talk, etc.) I guess that explained a lot for me. I have a more mannish style of communicating, I guess.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by belladonna * Now put that Cosmo down and pick up that Maxim…
I’m already there, Bella! Maxim is my favorite.
I have a friend whose fiancee is forcing him to cancel his subscription. That’s a chick for ya. Cranky, My communicative style could probably be described as mannish also. It’s rare that I want to talk something out, I’d rather sweep it under the rug - ignore it til it goes away. I don’t like hearing or giving apologies. If I have a problem, I want to retreat and try to work on it myself…I only go to someone else with my problems as a last resort. I am not very emotional, either, so it can be hard for me to relate to women who are. I don’t know what to do when a woman cries in front of me…if I treat them the way I would want to be treated if I was crying, they’d probably think I was insensitive or something. That’s probably something I need to work on, yes?
Chiming in as a girl whose friends are mostly male. I have maybe three girlfriends, none of whom live in town and all of whom are like us: more like tomboys than girly-girls. I have one girly-girl friend, whom I can only tolerate in short, small doses.
I noticed something, just from these few posts. I come from a family of six girls and one boy. The male is so much older than me, I never really knew him. So my whole life, I was exposed to girls and girly girl stereotypes. I find men more interesting, because I haven’t been exposed to men as much. I think that those of us raised in a household of mostly women, tend to be more fascinated with the menfolk. In my case, I did tomboy things because those were the activities that my dad was interested in – the only male role model I was exposed to. If I wanted to bond with him, I watched football, rode motorcycles, went to car shows and played around in the woodshop. I found these things far more interesting than makeup and feminine hygiene products. He also taught me how to argue intelligently about football and cars – a skill I found to be highly respected among the men I was into.
Finally, I don’t think your lack of female friends indicates low self-esteem. I think it reflects an individual who can think for herself. Besides, you can only talk about periods & babies for so long before some of us nod off and wander in to the room where the football/baseball/racing (insert your sport of choice) is.
And, btw, shame on you for calling Cosmo a “feminist” magazine. Yeeeeaaaah, Right.
I used to hang out mostly with guys. But as I got older, I found myself actively seeking out more female companionship. I needed some balance, I think. This board has helped me form some very tight friendships with some wonderful women.
Dogzilla, my parents had five girls, one boy. You may be onto something with your theory.
I don’t remember a time in my life when I didn’t enjoy being around men. Even in kindergarten, I was running and playing with the boys. At family cookouts, I didn’t want to sit in the kitchen and make potato salad - I wanted to be outside with my Dad and his brothers, listening to their stories and thoroughly enjoying the way they made each other laugh. (I love to watch male bonding!)
I have had female friends in the past, but it’s just too much work. I realize that all relationships require work, but women are so much more high-maintenance than men. My female friends have a shelf-life of about one year. They inevitably turn into these Alpha Females, bent on proving their superiority in every way, and I just don’t like playing those games.
How many friends do you expect to have, for cripe’s sake? If you have three sisters, don’t you think that ought to count as three female friends, if you like them at all? Five sisters and you’re bragging about not having female friends? Why would you need them when you have five sisters?
And to perpetuate the stereotype of girliness, girly-girl, girl-talk, etc. We’re all individuals. I spent six years in the Army and I’m all girl. Sure, I “think like a man,” but it doesn’t stop me from having female friends, since being female doesn’t relegate you to talking exclusively about shoe shopping.
Cosmo is an absolute piece of garbage and Maxim is just the male version of it. I won’t touch either of them, but I do enjoy the occasional FHM.
You guys got me all riled up. For the record, I’m married (to a man) and have no friends in town. I’ve lived here for six months without making any friends. I consider my male and female cousins to be friends, and I have friends scattered around the country and the world, but none in town right now. I have one sister who I don’t like, and she is even less “girly” than I.
“Tomboy” is such an archaic term, implying that the baseline, average girl is into playing with dolls, wearing pretty dresses, and helping mommy cook…exclusively. Obviously that’s not the case and probably never has been. Girls play games and sports and run around outdoors…is this news to anybody?
I hardly think Cosmo is a feminist magazine. All the articles talk about how to MAKE a guy like you. Change your personality,wardrobe,views,address…etc…JUST to please him. Your man likes Thai food and you hate it? Too bad, he’ll love you more if you do what he wants. I do admit I read it though. I looooooove the Agony/Confession stories.
I am a girl with 7 guy friends and 2 girl friends. I see one of those girlfriends about 3 times a year. The other is 5 years younger than me. For the record I’m 21. Do the math. Girls make me insecure sometimes. I feel as if I’m not dressed-up enough or looking “cute” enough when I’m around women. With my guy friends I can wear my pajamas and have unwashed hair and I feel perfectly fine. I can burp and get told I’m sexy for doing so. I can just lounge around and not talk about how fat I look or about a pair of cute shoes I just bought.
I mostly have had guy friends. I eschewed the company of women for many years, having the occasional good female friend, but very rarely.
However, I’ve noticed as I’ve gotten older that I get along with women better. I was just talking about this the other day, saying that I think as women age, the standard competitive spirit dies a bit. It seems so many women want to compete, over men, especially. This was never my gig, and men don’t seem to do this, or at least not as much. How many male friendships do you know that have ended over a woman? I can name some, but far fewer than female friendships.
Again, this seems to be ebbing away with age. I’m 28 and am, for the first time in my life, enjoying the company of women.
Yeah, I’ve had mostly guy friends also. I don’t have anything against women, but it’s worked out that way. I think I relate to people in a somewhat masculine way–I don’t like spending hours on the phone sharing my innermost secrets, for instance. But I’m not a tomboy, so I seem mostly to have attracted sort of nerdy guy friends who aren’t into traditional “masculine” things. I think guys like that appreciate women friends more than anybody else.
I’m wondering about the apparent need to put down women who are different to oneself. I don’t see any virtue in only having male friends or female friends or hermaphroditic friends! It’s sounding a tad shallow to say that men are more interesting than women! Sheez.
I’ve got female friends and male friends. Probably more in a female friend phase of my life ATM but that’s just an aspect of this life phase I think. I used to have mostly men friends but I’ve had a mix of gender. I guess if I meet a person, I’m interested in the person, not in whether or not they are suitably male or female. I don’t make friends based on gender.
