“The report of my death was an exaggeration.”
You see, this was what I actually said. Others have bastardized it into “the reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.”
Thank you.
Beloved Wife, tolerated accountant. Devoured by her own cats.
If I may be so bold: “˙ʎɐʍɐ pǝssɐd sɐɥ uʍop ǝpısdn”
As for the eulogy for myself…I’d prefer to be surprised. 
Sexually adventurous, until she was about to get married.
just kidding, though I have a feeling that may be what I’m remembered for. I’d prefer something along the lines of:
Wife, mother, writer… and SDMB addict til the end.
“Avenge his death”.
Buried for twenty minutes. Once.
I’d like to revise mine please…
“Was eaten by her cats, which was the greatest contribution she’d made to society. Except for all the sex.” 
nodnod this version is better! 
You’ve got me so turned around I thought you were saying “poupou this version is better”. 
I told you I was sick.
Phoenix needs a new white lesbian rapper.
Gary “Invisible Wombat” Robson died in a freak bullriding accident at age 125 today. His wives and mistresses will be holding a wake at Carnegie Hall for the next 7 days with free tequila for everyone but the bagpiper*. In his honor, the GQ forum is being renamed QTGINLATA (Questions That Gary Is No Longer Around To Answer).
- There will be single-malt for the bagpiper.
He died like he lived - choking on food.
“Northern Piper was taken out by some of the Wombat’s friends, for hogging the single malt after the service.”
As long as you’re piping, you can have the single-malt.
You see, Piper, this is me (big guy on the left holding tray of single-malt in the 2nd picture) last month at our local Rabbie Burns supper.
Siam Sam passed away peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and crying like his passengers.