I just bought a book and a small wood carving kit from amazon.
It sounds like just what i’m looking for. If I create crap at least I’ll enjoy whittling away bits of wood.
I’ll mostly try small non-functional things.
Thanks for the inspiration 
Just popping in to recommend Origami. I used to be pretty good at it, but I haven’t tried in years. It’s a bit of mindless (especially once you have the model you’re doing committed to memory), uses both hands and is a very peaceful craft. Books are available from beginner to My-God!-How-did-they-do-that? and paper is available ranging from cheap to relatively expensive depending on the quality (or you could just cut squares out of the newspaper, but it’s not the same.)
Man, posting this makes me really want to get back into it.
Freehand engraving or calligraphy. I enjoy engraving mirrors, they can really look beautiful though difficult to make a flawless mirror. I try sticking to small decorative mirrors.
You could make knitting more macho by knitting with steel wool. Ar ar ar!
I actually did see a website where guys were talking about knitting with wire.
You can always try Yarn Tormenting.
It involves sharp instruments that you use to twist and torture yarn into submission. Eventually, you can force it into pleasing and useful shapes, all while mocking its foolish attempts to resist your malice.
(Ok, so it’s knitting. But it sounds so much more manly.)
Rug hooking is OK if you don’t mind being a rug pimp.
Seriously, it’s easy to do, keeps your hands busy yet is not so involved with your higher brain functions that you would still be able to carry on a conversation while doing it.
** Harriet the Spry** mentioned simulators. Two that I enjoy are Trackmania and Terragen. Trackmania Nations is a freeware racing game where you race Formula 1 cars around various tracks, including stunt tracks with jumps, loops and speed boosts that let you literally drive up the walls. You can create your own tracks or go to various forums to download tracks and cars created by other players. There are other versions of Trackmania that require you to purchase the license but it also gives you access to other track formats.
Terragen is a simulator that lets you create virtual landscapes that are photorealistic. You can pretend you are a deity and sculpt the land to appear however you want. You can save the images or create fly-bys over the terrain. I’ve spent hours creating new worlds where I have created mountains and lakes, then wiped them all out.
Yep, exactly what I came in here to post. Making chainmail is like knitting metal.
If you don’t want to knit, you can try crochet. Very soothing motion, repetitive. Also good along those lines is spinning with either a spindle or a wheel. You can get a good spindle and some fiber for about $20 on E-bay and it’s an addictive soothing repetitive hobby.
Locker hooking is a fun alternative to latch hooking if you don’t like the short bits of yarn involved there.
Jigsaw puzzles. Ivylad and I used to do those…spread them out on the coffee table while we’re watching TV.
You can also take up origami…my son is quite proficient, and makes some neat things.
Get a metal detector and scour your isle for buried treasure… yar! When you’ve covered everything up to a depth of, say, six inches, you can dig deeper and call yourself an amateur archaeologist or paleontologist. Who knows? You might discover, er, “Isle of Man Man”.
Collecting sea glass and buoys, shells, agates, etc. and designing decorative or artistic things (like jewelry).
Chainsaw sculpture – but you need big, chunky tree stumps for that. And a chainsaw, of course. (And safety goggles!)
Driftwood carving. Bottlecap art. Lego art. (The latter two are basically pop art of a pointillist type.) Kinetic sculpture, if you’re mechanically inclined. This can be with paper, wire, metal…
Solving sudoku’s from a booklet you carry around with you.
Teach yourself the Brandenburg Concertos on a blues harp.
You could probably gig with Bela Fleck.
I second this. My brother, who is a very manly man type of guy, would probably be diagnosed as ADHD if he was a kid today. When I was about 15, I walked into my mom’s kitchen to find him with feathers and strings and beads and some weird vice contraption, and he was in a state of calm that I’d never seen. So I watched. Absolutely beautiful things can be created when tying flies. Plus, if you wanted to profit from your hobby, I think hard-core fly fishermen pay serious money for hand-tied flies.
I made a few with my brother, and they really were a thing of beauty.
I third fly-tying.
As for knitting as a manly-man thing, my brother (who’s maybe one of the last people in my life that I might have imagined with such a hobby) knits. I admit there was a spit-take or five when the family witnessed confirmation of the knitting rumor, but it’s pretty cool. I even have and happily wear a nifty knit cap he made me.
I see you’re already looking into wood carving, and I was actually peeking into the thread to recommend whittling. I always thought it might be cool to learn to make hand-carved knife handles, those lovely, graceful old fashioned wooden pipes, or some other little functional things of beauty.
Learn a musical instrument.
Use woodworking to build a ukulele than play that thing till you die.
Fighting. Any other hobby is decidedly unmanly. Bored? Well that senior citizen seems to be looking at you funny (or is squinting in your general direction) and you’re not going take that shit from some guy that needs a cane to walk. Trying to develope your latest batch of photos and some rowdy grade schoolers are breaking your concentration? Well it’s time to give these kids some tough love and beat the stupid out of 'em. 15 years from now they’ll come back and thank you. It’s also a great full-body workout.
On a less idiotic note, I second model building of sorts. You get to use your hands and like knitting, it can give you a sense of accomplishment once you’ve completed your project. Then you get to decorate your house with tacky airplane/robot/ship/car models and pick a fight with anyone that cares to criticize.
I am an amateur vintner, but I’ve never made beer (yet). Making wine is fun, and with a little patience, you can get a cycle going whereby you have all the delicious, aged wine you can possibly drink. If your climate supports fruit/vegetable growing you can combine gardening with wine making.
Bonsai is another hobby that requires patience.
In response to the initial suggestion and complaint about lack of dual hand usage, I would like to point out that good masturbation can often use two hands.
As for a non-sexual suggestion, there’s always anime or videogames. Unleash your inner dork 
Bomb Construction