Give us an account of yourself.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
61

Got Insomnia? Read this Bio!
37 YO straight, married female. Two kids that are superlative in every way. Not to brag Married to Mr. Ujest for over 11.5 years, have known him 16 years or so. It’s like he’s been there all along. I think he is a Grey or something. He clearly is insane for marrying me.

My life right now is spent working between preschool and elementary school where I usually feel like I’ve let down the teacher with whatever task I’ve been assigned to do. YAY!

I use to be a travel agent. 9-11 didn’t kill that industry. The internet didn’t kill that industry. I did. Every job I have worked for the company goes under. Which means that I can put on a resume anything I freaking want! Not many can do that.

I am self educated, well traveled (The most for my family) and the kind of person that everyone looks to in a time of crisis for assistance. It’s tedious, really. All I want to be is an Attention Whore Drama Queen . Ok, not really, I have no desire to have emotionally trainwrecked people as friends. Being the Go-To person in life has always been me for some inexplicable reason.

I am a very active campaigner to have the alphabet reversed so that All Phone Lists start with the Letter Z, not A, therefore making our family - whose last name begins with an A - the LAST to be called to Work At School/Volunteer stuff. It is more like my mission in life.

I am the type of person that you will hear tittering during a funeral or wedding service. If there is a dirty joke or innuendo to be found, I will find it. If you are on your death bed or convalescing in the hospital, I am your gal for bedside duty to cheer you up. I have had more than my fair share of both and know that everyone takes death and illness way.too.seriously. I mean, really.

That said, I was raised in an Irish Catholic house with four older brothers whom were 18 years to 7 years older than me. I am adopted and have always felt like a single child for more reasons than one. Three are deceased from the a horrid heretidary disease called Muscular Dystrophy. The depressive, Eeyore-like atmosphere I was raised in (“What’s the point of trying…we’ll never win”) took me years to learn how to change my thinking habits and actually try things and get out and do things. Besides my children, a cookie recipe, packing light, teaching my dog to crap in a specific area, growing a garden from seed and driving a stick shift. I am most proud of changing my outlook on things. I still beleive in my basically philosophy of life that No Matter What We Do We Are All Basically Fucked. But now, I’m much happier about it.

Life is so much more interesting when you get involved. Even when you know you are Basically Fucked. Yeah, smile when the apes are flingin’ poo, that’s my motto!

Which does not explain why I have such a High Post Count here on SDMB. You BASTARDS! I could rule the world if you weren’t so damn accessible, fun and more entertaining than a shiny spoon. Damn You All!

I do not subscribe to any organized religions, sports or politics. Since coming to this epiphany in life, my Sundays are now spent sleeping & guilt free. I’ve been thinking of starting my own pajama-based religion that is based on using a 900 number to call in for sermons based on today’s tragressions, not smiting and coveting. That’s so two milleneums ago.

I am a strong beleiver that the only race is the Human Race. We are all like a pack of vibrantly colored crayola crayons. Some are just sharper than others.

A voracious reader, mostly of romances Yeah, mock away. At least I am not a trekkie. My standards are low, but at least I have my pride:slight_smile: I am slowly starting to read more worthwhile, less predictable reads. My favorite magazines are Vanity Fair, Ready Made Magazine and Smithsonian.

One talent I have that is exceptional is that I can get anyone to laugh. Except, and I am not making this up, a guy named Harry Weiner who had no sense of humor. I might have been young and my comedic timing off, but he was just a dick.

My hobbies are writing, avoiding housework, drinking pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. Erma Bombeck, PJ ORourke, Groucho Marx and Dave Barry are some of my greatest influences.

I have recently and for reasons unknown to medical science, become partially deaf in my right ear with constant ringing. At least it is not a fax machine tone.I have adjusted to this new developement ( It happened August 1st of this year.) easier than dealing with my slowing metabolism or the eternal quesiton What will I do for the rest of my life?.

What I lack in actual credentials for anything of merit, I make up for in spades in pop culture referances and utter bullshit.

I excell at killing threads and untying knots in shoelaces.

62

If you couldn’t see my last link, try this:

Me again.

63

Ooops, sorry about that
I-N-I!

64

I see I forgot to put down anything about work! Some kind of Freudian slip there, no doubt. I’m sorry you all had to lay awake last night wondering about it.
I do clerical and client service work for a medical laboratory. It’s the first sit-down job I’ve ever had, and my contact with the great unwashed is pretty limited, so although I can’t say I love my job, I do appreciate it!

Very entertaining bio, Shirley!

65

This is possibly the most brilliant statement I’ve ever read. I hope you won’t mind if I use it when applicable (giving all due credit to Ms. Ujest, of course).

66

Thank you, I was rather proud of conjuring that up out of the gray matter of my mind. Feel free to use it, I would be honored.

It’s nice that I can entertain so many by summarizing my pathetic little existance in a couple of paragraphs. So much for my future auto-biography. Note to self: make an ass out of myself on a global scale. Whore it shameless and ride the wave to commercial endorsements and a front page on the Weekly World News.

67

I have the exact same thing only mine is in both ears and started in May of 2003.
In my case I have Tinnitus and mine is not a fax machine tone either it is more like a high pitched sonic buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz that lasts 24/7 and can vary in intensity for no particular reason. I also have deafness in both ears but it was improved slightly after I had a Myringotomy :slight_smile:

68

Though I’ve been on this message board a long time (since 1999), I consider myself one of the most “fringe” dopers. You’ll see…

I’m 37, male, white (German and English ancestry), and heterosexual. I’ve been married for 8 years. (FYI, my wife is Chinese, and grew up in Hong Kong.) We have three young children. We live in a log house on 15 acres.

I’m an electrical engineer. I work at a medium-sized Catholic university in SW Ohio. I’m a project manager for many R&D programs. I’m pretty knowledgeable about electronics and electrical theory. I graduated with a BSEE from the University of Cincinnati in 1992. I’m now working on getting my BSEE.

My main hobby is shooting guns. I love to shoot assault weapons, battle rifles, full auto, bolt action – everything. I recently bought a .50 BMG. I love it. In fact, one of the reasons we moved to a rural area was so I could shoot on my own property. Guns rule. Other hobbies include survivalism, playing bass guitar, and electronics. I also exercise quite a bit; I run everyday at lunch time. Finally, I love to drink beer. Especially dark and heavy microbrews. Yum yum.

Politically I consider myself 70% libertarian and 30% conservative. I despise liberals, Democrats, and socialists. I think John Kerry is a Marxist, and is thus evil. (Same goes for Hitlery Klinton.) I also don’t like George Bush (or any of those other neocons), and think we should never have gone to war with Iraq. The only politician I like is Ron Paul. I am very politically incorrect. I believe in individual liberty and individual responsibility, and strongly oppose all socialistic government programs (individual welfare, corporate welfare, social security, Medicaid, Medicare, etc.) I believe in minimal government intrusion, and believe all government responsibilities that are not explicitly enumerated in the Constitution should be eliminated (e.g. Department of Education, Department of Labor, Department of Commerce). Can you think of one other Doper who shares my political opinions? Didn’t think so…

Ah, but it gets better. When we moved to rural Ohio I wanted to join a citizens militia. Yea, you know… guys who get together once a month and practice field maneuvers with real guns. But a local unit did not exist. :frowning: So I formed my own militia unit. :slight_smile: Here is the website in case you’re curious. It’s been very successful, if I may say. In fact, I believe we’re the largest citizens militia unit in Ohio. Tomorrow we have training on how to ambush an enemy. I can’t wait. :wink:

69

but…but… I just have to point out you’re using something called the Internet, which is largely here due to the government’s intrusion, to tell us about this…

do you believe in using the social programs that you disagree with? or is this just one you don’t care about out of convenience?

I just HAD to ask, sorry :slight_smile:

70

All right, I’ll bite.

I’m 28 years old, female, heterosexual, although I have been known to find the female ‘ideal’ very attractive and even sexy. I’ve only looked at the Kinsey scale for the first time in detail *very * recently, but I’d guess I’m about a 1.

I work in a place that is a job and not a career for me. I am going back to school soon to become a teacher of high school English. My goals are very simple and not overly idealistic: to have as many teens as possible who say “i don’t like to read” change their minds by finding just one thing they like to read.

I love reading; it’s almost like breathing. I get withdrawal if I don’t read at least a few pages within 24 hours.

I did the liberal/conservative test and it turns out that in social issues I am a strong liberal, while in government and economic issues I am fairly conservative. This makes it exceedingly difficult to side with one of the two major parties as neither fully relates to what I believe.

I have a vivid and active imagination. To feed this fellow, I play role-playing games, including D&D, the aformentioned reading, and anything else that will fill this hunger. I also love computer games, video games, and know an awful lot about arms & armor, both medivel and modern. When someone calls me a geek I grin and agree.

I have a boyfriend who I’ve been with for eight years and have lived with for about seven. I have had a lot of traumatic issues from emotional…I hesitate to call it abuse, let’s say mismanagement…in my teenage years, and my boyfriend has helped me resolve nearly all of them.

I am a strong atheist emotionally and a soft atheist rationally, as I really have no way of proving there is no god.

I don’t want kids. It’s just not for me. I can’t condone me bringing a child into an already overpopulated world. I realize my views are not for everyone.

I never try to push my atheism on anyone else, and in my friendships I insist no one try to push their religion on me.

I am optimistic to a fauly and cynical and skeptical at the same time (yes I know). I make the best of it constantly, and my whole life philosophy is this quote paraphrased from ancient Sanskrit:

Tomorrow is but a dream;
Yesterday but a memory.
Live only in today.

71

I’ve been resisting this thread for days. Here goes…

I’m a 26 year old half Japanese half English woman, third generation Japanese Canadian. I’m straight, and I’ve been married for two years in December. No children, but we do have two cats, who’ve gotten way more bandwidth here than they deserve.

I’m a rabid cook who loves Nigella Lawson, John Thorne, and Jeffrey Steingarten because they’re chatty. I hate cookbook authors who just issue directions and don’t talk about why they cook the way they do.

My other primary interests are sewing, bellydance, and reading. I’m into historical costuming, and I make chainmail jewelry. I’ve been training on and off for about five years with Arabesque Academy here in Toronto, and I’ve just restarted after a year and a half lapse. I take traditional classic Egyptian bellydance. I am one of the least flexible people I know.

I used to be a passionate science fiction reader but in the past few years I’ve drifted more into theology and general non-fiction. I was raised Anglican, but my husband and I are seriously considering entering the Catholic church. We’re very conservative theologically, and I’d say that Chesterton (hi, dangermom!), Lewis, Tolkien, Madeleine L’Engle, and Thomas Merton are the writers who have influenced me most. I’m probably far right of most Dopers, but I don’t talk religion or politics much.

As per my username, I still love Robin McKinley. Her latest book just came out in trade paperback this month! Whee!

I work in a small bookstore. I don’t like desk jobs, even though they pay better. I went to a small liberal arts college for Western History. Most of my closest friends are classmates I had at school. I have forgotten most of the Latin I learned, although I can sometimes translated school mottoes. I memorise poetry and read aloud for fun. I’ve lived in Toronto my whole life except for when I went to school in Ottawa. Over the last few years I’ve visited some of the most random locations in the States.

I go out to goth clubs about once a month.

Err, that’s it, really. No it’s not! I just finished a bacon sandwich. You should all be jealous.

72

I love threads like these!

I’m a 23 (soon to be 24 on December 28th) female. I’m almost 5’10" and constantly battling to lose weight. I graduated from UCLA in 2003 w/ BAs in History and American Literature and Culture. I’m working on applications for Masters programs in Public History/Historic Preservation. I’m visting colleges in the Carolinas next week - very excited!

I’m Presbyterian (Christian…Protestant…that is) and I’m liberal. I admit to shedding a few tears out of apprehension when the election results came in.

I’m heterosexual and oh so single. I can’t remember my last date. lol I moved back home to save money for grad school and my town’s not the best dating grounds. I’m on a constant lookout for a guy taller thank 5’10" lol

I love reading! I’m constantly reading 3 or 4 books at a time. Right now it’s Historic Preservation for a Living City, The Lovely Bones, Nigger: The Strange Career of a Troublesome Word, and Ghosts I have Been. I’m an avid CSI fan (and yesterday’s episode was filmed at UCLA :slight_smile: ) - though not to the X-Files level I was at during middle and high school. I don’t really watch a lot of tv outside of a few choice shows.

I’m loud, obnoxious and a smart mouth. I love making people laugh. And I thrill anytime I recognize a reference, pop culture or not. I suppose I like feeling smart. hehe I have no pic online - sorry folks.

And I am now finished rambling. :smiley:

73

Oh oh me next!

I’m 24 years old and female (duh screen name). I’m half Italian, half Puerto Rican who was raised in Perth Amboy, NJ.

I live in Arkansas now and have been married for 4 years to a man I met on the internet (in a Xena chatroom). I was the first to leave home (when I was 19) and still no kids except for two dogs and a cat. Oreo, Twix and Kitty. Heh.

I’m a Reuse Technician (google it damnit I don’t have time!) in a dialysis center,and I love it. Finally, a job I like and am proud of.

I crochet, wire work, draw, paint, take pictures, and I’m currently reading Stephen King’s The Dark Tower VII.

Oh and I make a killer lasagna from scratch. My grandmother’s recipe.

ENVY ME!

By the way, if you’re bored, this is an entertaining site that I share with my best friend. Lovebud Stories

74

I know you did, but where was that enthusiasm! :smiley:

But I have to admit, while typing this response and just having returned from a business trip to Las Vegas, it occurred to me that Destro was the founder of the Blue Man Group. Now we all know what those Blue Guys are up to . . .

Tripler
Maybe their Intel ads are their method of funding. . . :confused:

75

Hijack

Huh. I haven’t been diagnosed as Tinnitus (yet), but I need to go for a follow up appointment soon for a hearing test. I went from 55% hearing loss to now 30%. I think it is getting better, but it is hard to gauge. If it stays the same, I apparently qualify for a hearing aid, but not a handicapped parking spot. I mean, what is the point, man. I wouldn’t use it. I’d sell it at Christmas time to the highest bidder at the mall…bwahahahahahahah! sorry.

The ringing is a high pitch sound similar to what it is like when you are inside of a plane at take off. Only I can’t get my ear to pop. Feh.
When you lost your hearing did you get really dizzy and sick?

[/hijack]

76

I am a married female, age 46. I am originally from Ohio, but now live in Sparks, Nevada. I 've lived in Nevada for over 20 years. I moved to Tonopah, Nevada, about a year after I finished college.

 My parents and siblings (a brother and a sister) still live in Toledo, Ohio.  I'm the one who "escaped".  My parents are in their 70's and are in quite ill health...something I'm trying to avoid when I get older.

 I teach fifth grade in a public school, and I strongly believe in the public school system.  My ten-year-old daughter attends the school where I teach.  (She's not in my class, though.)
 
 I love to read--I read a lot of different types of literature.  I've recently taken up Bikram yoga, and I like to ride my bicycle.  I used to be a couch potato, but now I'm trying to exercise more.  Since May I have lost 25 pounds, and I'm hoping to lose about 35 more.

 My daughter and I have two rather aloof cats and three hermit crabs.
 
 I love to travel.  I've been all over the west--California, Wyoming, Colorado, and Utah.  I'd like to visit the Pacific Northwest soon.  I absolutely love the ocean and whenever possible, I visit Monterey.  I would live on the ocean--California's central coast, if I thought I could have a similar lifestyle to what I have here.
77

I’m not a full member yet (why give up 11 free days?), but I guess I’ll go ahead and sound off now…

Male, 34, mostly English and Irish and 1/16 Cherokee. I’m a mechanical engineer, and am one of countless little cogs working for an enormous defense contractor.

I’m hetero and about as single as it’s possible to get, since I seem to completely lack the “pursuit” instinct… if a woman doesn’t display a clear attraction to me, I can’t get interested. I can’t read “signals” very well, either, so a “clear attraction” basically means something like stalking me! My female friends tell me I’d be a good catch, though. :wink:

Despite my relentlessly cold and sterile writing style, I’m very cheerful, easy to get along with, and somewhat whacky, with a strong child-like aspect to my personality. I tend to say whatever pops into my head, and that’s often something fairly weird.

I’d say I’m about 50% nerd, 25% country boy, and 25% “miscellaneous”. I can explain why there have been so many Green Lanterns, then go outside and build a barn or fabricate an automatic bottle-filling machine out of mostly junk (although I have to get somebody else to do the welding–for some reason, I can’t see properly through the dark helmet).

I have chosen to become totally apathetic about politics, religion, and any other topic that is considered “important” but which I can do absolutely nothing to influence. I listen to others’ views with polite disinterest, then go on with my life. If you’re not paying me or entertaining me… please go away.

No kids, no pets (too distracted to take care of them). Am happy living in an apartment, except that I can’t hang up a punching bag or chin-up bar in here. Proudly drive a 15-year-old Buick with exposed primer and rust spots, and brag about how much of my stuff was either pulled from the trash, home-made, or bought ridiculously cheap at a thrift store.

78

Male, 37. I grew up in Chillicothe, Ohio, then got degrees in English from Wittenberg University (Springfield, OH) and Penn State. I’ve done study-abroad tours in Aberystwyth, Wales, and Paris. I now live in Seattle, where I am a technical writer for a government-funded biomedical research network.

I’ve cohabitated with shE. Thorp since 1997 and we were married in 2001. We each have one parent from Germany (my father, her mother) and one from Pennsylvania (vice versa). She’s fluent in German, I’m not.

My favorite writers are Vladimir Nabokov and Gore Vidal, but my favorite novel is The Beginning of Spring by Penelope Fitzgerald. I also love the essays of Stanley Elkin, and I think Elaine Scarry is one of the smartest people alive. The last book I read was Benjamin Franklin’s Autobiography.

I am a great fan of jazz, and I hosted a jazz program on an NPR affiliate for about 6 years. Recently I discovered shapenote music and joined the local singings. I like wine and I like cheese, sometimes together. I have been a vegetarian for 12 years.

Almost five years ago I left an English Ph.D. program when everything was done except the dissertation, and I haven’t regretted it for a moment.

I voted for John Kerry because…sorry, wrong thread.

If I ever join a church, it will be one with lots of high ritual and beautiful music, whose motto is “All are welcome.”

79

I’m a 19-year-old female, native to the state of Mississippi, but this past year I’ve been nomadic in Americorps NCCC. In 2004 I’ve lived in the following cities: Perry Point, MD; Hartford, CT; Waltham, MA; Sarasota, FL; and Kingston, NY. In addition, I’ve visited every major city in New England (D.C., Boston, Baltimore, NYC, Providence, Wilmington, Philadelphia), one Canadian city (Montreal), and partied harder than maybe I should have in New Orleans (you can’t prove it’s me in those photos! really!).

I was born in Mississippi of Scots-Irish, German, Dutch, and Melungeon descent. A distant cousin of mine was folk musician Townes Van Zandt. I was raised throughout the Southeast, attended but did not graduate college. I joined Americorps in January 2004, and now that the program is ending, I’ll be heading back to MS in a few weeks. I voted for the first time this year. In April I participated in the Women’s Rights March in Washington, D.C. I went to Florida with Red Cross Disaster Relief a few months ago.

I used to practice Shotokan karate. I am a self-described “radical atheist”. I’ve met several Dopers, including Biqu, Salem, Billdo, Cheesesteak, Zebra, and Oxymoron. I’m painfully single, have been for a year, but I’m currently cooing long-distance with a delectable Frenchie Boy I met in Montreal. After Americorps I’m hoping to go to Calcutta to work with the Mother Theresa Homes with the International Partnership for Service-Learning.

That’s all, really. Oh, and I’ll be 20 on December 6th!

80

Alright, looks like it’s my turn!

I’m an 18 year old female, currently enrolled at Allen County Community College in Podunk, Kansas. I’m about 5’8" and somewhere in the 115-120 lb range. I commute 20 miles to ACCC every day from where I live which could also be described as Podunk, Kansas. I’m supposed to be a pre-vet major but I’m not getting much animal study from the classes I’m taking. I drive a beat up 1994 Dodge Intrepid with 115,000 miles on it. Last thursday night it overheated, perhaps because I haven’t changed my oil in about 7 or 8 thousand miles.

I have two jobs. I have worked at a hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant every Friday and Saturday night for the last four years of my life. I make 5 dollars an hour. I also work at the Anderson County Cattle Auction. I get to muck around in cow shit all day and try to get cows to go into a little pen, which most of the time they really do not want to do. And it seems to always rain on the days that I work which is not good when the dirt floor you’re standing on isn’t actually dirt. Plus it’s always cold and I despise cold weather. I wish it was 85 degrees and sunny all day, every day.

Bill Bryson changed my life with his books. Thanks to him, I am now obsessed with Australia. Never been there, but hope to live there some day. I’m an atheist but most people don’t know it. I love to take pictures. My favorite attire is a t-shirt and jeans but I like getting dressed up. I like western-style clothes. My favorite shirt is a patterned pearl snap shirt that I got for 15 bucks. I like cowboy boots and the people that wear them. I love hanging out with the guys and since they all chew, I’ve recently started chewing as well. Bad nasty habit, I know, but what are ya gonna do? I like Boone’s Farm Melon Ball because its cheap and tasty. Dukes of Hazzard is my favorite show. I think I’m way too trusting of people. I believe just about anything that anyone tells me. I’m a funny person and love to make people laugh and I’m not afraid to laugh at myself. I broke up with my boyfriend of a year about two months ago and now I’m livin’ it up single style. Taking a break from dating is the best thing I’ve ever done for myself.

Here I am:
http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid145/p1d0ab7f5e9933c24fad3c9a31b9c56d1/f6582717.jpg