I always post this in quitting-smoking threads, where I’ve got no business posting, since I’ve never smoked, but I just can’t resist.
I have a tremendous admiration for smokers who have quit. You’ve done something positive for yourself, your family, and society. Congratuations!
To those of your who are thinking of quitting, or who are in the process of freeing yourself from your addiction, best of luck. I’m rooting for you!
1979: I start smoking.
1982: Up to a pack a day. I notice I seem to be addicted.
1984: First try to quit smoking. Miserable failure.
198X: occasional half-hearted attempts to quit smoking.
1988: Mom first diagnosed with lung cancer. Pack a day smoker since the early sixties.
1992: Met the perfect woman. She tolerates my smoking, even though she doesn’t like me to smoke in the house. Begin to ponder ramifications of being a smoker if I am to marry this terrific woman, particularly in view of fatherhood, etc.
1993: Mom dies of lung cancer, late in the year.
1994: Much of year devoted to trying to quit smoking, and wrestling viciously with the habit, using tapering-off techniques, cold turkey, and the patch. Most success achieved with the use of nicotine patches in combination with a more or less steady stream of Altoids mints.
Last cigarette: December, 1994.
1996: Life insurance premiums plummet, as my insurance company finally becomes convinced I’m a nonsmoker.
Haven’t smoked since. Generally don’t make an issue of it, though, as I remember how irritating I found it when former smokers got all self-righteous with me about how they used to smoke but quit, and I should, too…
On New Year’s Eve we went to the house of a dear friend who informed us that she wouldn’t be partaking in the evening’s drinking and smoking activities because she is pregnant.
[self-indulgent hijack] Gasp ! Shock ! Excitement ! She’s the first of my friends to do it, and I couldn’t be more exicted for them ! Wow ! Fantastic ! Thrilling ! [/s-ih]
But she’s been a smoker for 11 years, through the disapproval of her husband and the nasty health effects etc. But she hasn’t had a smoke since Christmas eve (yay!). Now she’s hacking up a lung and nauseated by the idea of having a cigarette, so hopefully it will go well for her.
I also heard a report that women who quit because of pregnancy are more successful than women who quit for other reasons. We’ll see, I guess …
Also, how can one be most supportive in this situation?
It will be 13 years since I quit smoking sometime along about the middle of January.
I started smoking when I was 12. I now suspect I was addicted long before I smoked on my own. My dad was a three pack a day man. I am unsure how many of those he actually smoked, because he tended to light them and smoke some then move to another location and light a new one. Consiquently they were burning like incense all over the house. You could find him by following the length of cigarettes in the ashtrays. Sort of like a game of hot cold. Anyway, I smoked for most of the next eighteen years. By the time I was 30 I was trying to keep it to a pack a day (20 in the US), but usually was more likely to smoke a pack and a half, two if there was drinking involved.
The final straw for me was a movie. I went with a couple of friends to see Keneth Braunagh’s Hamlet. About halfway in I started to get a craving. It was a great movie, I think. Actually I am not really sure. I wanted that cigarette so badly that i couldn’t concentrate on the movie, but I was damned if I would give in. I toughed it out. When the movie was over I rushed outside to have my smoke. That’s when it hit me. How much those things owned me. So I quit.
For the next week I had one cigarette at bedtime so I could sleep. And that was it. It was hard, and I don’t dare play with it. I know if I ever smoke again, I will never be able to quit again. I know people who smoke when they go out and the next day can go back to not smoking. I am pretty sure I can’t do that. The truely ironic thing for me though, is that now other people’s cigarettes cause asthma attacks for me.
The report about pregnant women may be true because smokers who find it hardest to quit are those who have to, generally for medical reasons. So if pregnant women are motivated by something positive that makes sense. The more positive your motivation is the greater your success.
How to be most supportive? Don’t try to be supportive. The technique I used to give up specified “don’t tell others you are giving up”. One of the reasons for this is that others’ attempts to encourage you can cause you to rebel and feel like smoking again in spite.
I believe that you should tell absolutely everyone, even the grocery store check out, that you’re quitting. It really makes you accountable if the whole world knows you’re trying to quit. YMMV
That, in fact, was another criticism contained in the book. Using techniques to shame yourself is worse motivation than positive methods. The additional pressure causes many people to become secretive and dishonest about their attempts.