Glass Masters? More like ass masters...

There is a local ad on television in the Charlotte, NC area that is making me insane. It features a Jim Varney look/act alike redneck with smokes rolled up in his sleeve extoling the virtues of Glass Masters. He says that his gramma runs the place and what “Gramma says, gramma does”. Then they pull back the camera and we see “gramma”- a freaky, ugly old woman who reaches out and pats fake Ernest on the head with these long, apelike arms.

It is freaky, creepy, and an insult to Ernest fans everywhere.

Yes, this is my biggest problem in life.


Sounds like a nice life.

Heh I’ve seen them too.

You know that ol Grandma likes to dress up and put on makeup :eek: in some of those commercials.

Have you seen that sexy sight? :eek:

You won’t wanna “do it” for weeks.:eek:

Peter. Don’t even joke about that. Seriously now…::shudder::

World: It is, actually. :slight_smile:

Not that local… we’ve been seeing it here in Knoxville for over a year now.

What does Glass Masters do?

To give you an idea of the efficacy of the commercials… I don’t really remember. Car window repairs?

UUUUUUUUUUUUGH! We get it here in Utah too! That cheesy grin of his just makes me want to reach through the TV and throttle him!

I think it’s auto glass repair, but I’m not sure. Whenever it comes on I run from the room shrieking loudly.

I thought it was local because it’s so poorly done- I figured it was a fly-by-night auto glass place with a $50 commercial budget!

Las Vegas, last safe haven away from the Glass Masters guy, it would seem. Therefore meaning, as usual, Stephen King got it all wrong.

The good guys lived in Vegas.

Same here! I thought they rounded up some polygamous hick from central Utah that wanted to earn a few buck making a keeeeeeeeeee-mershall fer the big black box.

The series of ads they were running before the “grandma” ads were even worse. They featured everyday people encountering a broken windshield and being told by a friend/loved one that they should call Glassmasters. The absolute worst featured a family of three climbing into a convertible after a baseball game. The father is horrified to see that a baseball has shattered his windshield. (It’s important to note that the father didn’t notice the shattered windshield until after he was in the car.) His daughter, however, saves the day when she leans forward and, with all the emotion of an unpainted slab of drywall, states:

“Daddy, daddy, don’t worry, call GLASSMASTERS.”

Oh!!! Don’t be dissin’ Stephen King now :smiley:

You’re an Ernest fan? Methinks that is the biggest problem in your life.

Otto: spoken like someone who doesn’t make an annual ritual of watching Ernest Saves Christmas. KnowwudImean?


Jim Varney was good, shut yo mouth!

“Ahhh, smell those Christmas trees. You can keep your channel number 5, just give me a whiff of the old lonesome pine – that symbol of brotherly love, that centerpiece that all mankind gathers around, to share the cranberry sauce shaped like a can.”

RIP Jim Varney, and burn in hell, Assmaster impersonator!

Oh, dear God. I thought those commercials were by some local hick company. You know, 'coz they have the same level of cheesy-ness as the home-made ads for “Jim-Bob’s Used Ford Emporium”?

But this is actually a nationwide concern? And yet they can’t pony up the cash to put out a professionally produced ad?

Thanks for starting this thread, Z. Sunday’s ice storm left us with a crack across our van’s front windshield and we were all set to call these shysters…

Kinda sounds liek “Bad Boys Bail Bonds” here in the Bay. But I find them to be quite entertaining. I want to get arrested just so I can hang out with them. I want to wear the wig.

Heh… this is funny. I’m a music producer, and in the music game, a “glass master” has traditionally been the name we give to the “super duper top of the tree” final master CD which then gets copied around the world in mass production. In the early days of CD’s, the top flight Industrial master CD’s were actually a fine layer of glass with the reflective silver on the back - not just clear plastic - hence the term “glass master”.

I opened this thread expecting some rant on the state of mastering houses in the music biz or something like that! Hah!

Ok then - I’ll be off now! Hoo Roo!