Glurk (cat owners will know)

6:15 on a Sunday morning. I should be asleep. I was asleep.

Then . . . . . . glurk?

Glurk, glurk!

The dog wakes up - all senses on the alert. I begin to search for the location.

Glurkglurkglurk. Location - right in the middle of my bed .

Cat: “Thank you, I feel better now. Oh - you’re up? Good. Since you are up, can we have our breakfast?”

So I get up, strip the bed, fend off the dog (who is looking for a “treat”), stumble into the back hall, throw some dry cat food in their bowls and whatthehell, make the coffee.

So how was YOUR morning? At least the coffee was good. And a Sunday afternoon nap became obligatory.

Here is the glurker and here is Bernie and the newest and last addition, Georges

This morning I had a triple glurker. I woke up enough to make sure they weren’t on the bed. It was either one cat 3 times or 3 cats one glurk each. Then my alarm went off and I had to go to work. Never did find a hairball though. Must have been a false glurk alarm.

I get a little police siren beforw glurks. kind of a wowowowworrrr…worrr…worr…glurk, glurk glurck, gak.

My kitty doesn’t glurk. She huks (accompanied by violent heaving of the midsection and a curiously placid facial expression). Huk…huk…huk…and up.

Mine hork.

Entirely too often to suit me.

How many toes does Georges have?

One of my cats likes to clean up after the glurkers.
I try not to think about it.

Actually, I have one of those too. Lately, he one of the most frequent glurkers … I wonder why? :rolleyes:

Or you just haven’t found it yet. Perhaps you should get up in the middle of the night and wander around the house barefoot for a bit.

Mine vlorks.

It’s never a hairball, though. It’s always a pile of half-digested kitty food, because the little piglet gulps.

My last indoor cat was more of a kaf, kaf, huh-yurk, huh-yurk, GAK.

If you heard one of the kafs you usually had time to transport him to linoleum or outside.


I’ll see your glurk and raise you a meow, meow…meow,mew, mew, mew…EWWWW

when I was young, maybe 5 or 6, my family’s first cat was pregnant. we all knew this and put a box in a nice quiet and dark corner of the house with a towel in it, with hopes she’d decide to have the little ones there.

Very early one morning I’m lying in bed when I wake up and think to myself “why are my feet wet?” followed by me hearing “meow, meow…mew,mew,mew” and I then think to myself “that sounds like too many meows to be one…EWWW!”

Yes, my cat had kittens on my feet.

Along the current topic, my cat huks as well.

That’s what mine does, only with some rasping while she’s doing it.

Once I just grabbed the sheet and tossed it in the washer. The hairball survived to come out perfectly clean like a little hair cigar.

Back in 2003 I was visiting my then-GF (LD relationship). Last night I was there, she passed out drunk on the couch (the romance broke off soon after that but we’re still friends) & I was so mad I couldn’t sleep. So I packed up to leave in the morning, was lying in bed trying to get to sleep & failing miserably, and she staggers in to tell me her Boy-Cat did a turd in front of her bedroom & could I
clean it up because her stomach couldn’t handle it. Then she went back to the couch & passed out again.

I get up, quickly scoop up a nice compact non-smelly little turd, bag it & throw it away. Then I look for her two Girl-Cats. One had went into the bathroom & accidentally closed the door behind her. Now, earlier that evening I had the bright idea to feed her ice cream (cats like cream, right?- yeah, you all know what’s coming…). So I open the door & she flies out, to let me find-

On the bathroom floor, three large pools of liquid poo. HOWEVER, it didn’t smell much & was easily soaked up by these great paper towels my GF had, bagged & trashed.

So then I look for Cat #3. She’s in the Utility Room, lying halfway in her catbox & moved out to let me see this gooey SMELLY poo smeared onto the wall & floor.
I went to clean that & almost lost it. It took 15-20 minutes to get up & was utterly disgusting.

And after I got my gag-reflex under control & finished cleaning up the mess, the absurdity of it all struck me, I laughed for about 15 minutes & got a couple hours nap.

And still you let these animals share your living space. People are weird!

I think it’s six on each front paw. He’s very particular about his paws since he’s declawed (I didn’t do it - he came to us that way!) and won’t let anyone handle them much.

But he’s a great big sweetie - most of the time. He does give Miz Murphy (the glurker) Interesting moments. She does not want to play.

and I thought ny little bulemic feline was so rare.

nope - Smokey does it too - because she tried to gobble up the entire bowl full in one pass. But she must be keeping something down because she actually gained weight this year (according to the vet)

My eldest kitty horks. (We’ve only had the youngest kitty for a couple of weeks, and he’s only 8 weeks old, so it’s too soon to tell). I’ll hear “hork, hork, hork, hork” and hope I have enough time to get him into the kitchen or onto the porch before he emits. . .stuff. Mostly half-digested food, although the last time, what came out of his mouth looked exactly like what mostly comes out the opposite end. :eek: Fortunately, my hubby was home that time. When he’s home, cleaning this stuff up is his job!

If he gets to doing it too frequently, though, we switch him to high-end cat food for however long it takes him to go through a bag of it. That seems to help a lot.

I have a stealth horker.

You can look casually at my smaller cat and she will be sitting seraphically in the middle of a pristinely clean carpet, tail wrapped around her paws, clearly at peace with the world and in no distress.

Look away for a moment.

Look back - and lo! She will be sitting seraphically in the middle of a pristinely clean carpet, tail wrapped around her paws, clearly at peace with the world and in no distress, with a brick red gift for her slaves to attend to.

No sound, no apparent movement. Evidently, she can produce the “result” telepathically. Or something.

Ah, yes. Well, I never hear a glurk without it’s coming from the dining-room rug. That would be Miss Molly’s doing.