No. When I was married, I found that I was not able to have sex unless I felt close to my husband. Paradoxically, my husband felt that he was not able to feel close unless we had sex. So, while you may feel that sex is the answer, your wife may not. Unless it’s just all about you, in which case, no wonder you’re in counseling in the first place. (The generic you, not you personally.)
The advice is not applicable in serious issues, that is the point that it seperates the serious stuff from the “leaving the cap off the toothpaste” crap. If you two do it and you can still remember what you were angry about then it is a real issue.
If sex is the problem in the marriage then telling the couple to go have sex really isn’t a solution. They’re there to see you about the problem they have with having sex.
And if sex isn’t the problem in the marriage then telling the couple to go have sex is avoiding the problem rather than addressing it and trying to solve it.
You seem to be saying that sex will solve all your problems. But only if you didn’t have any real problems. Which is true I guess but by that standard eating a cheeseburger will solve all your problems.
I thought that was the point of my OP, that for me personally “not real” problems can sometimes seem like real problems but after a session of sex I can’t even remember what the problem was. However without this problem amnesia effect I could definitely see them piling up.
I’m sorry if I upset someone actually going through marriage counseling for serious issues, it was mostly a tongue in cheek post.
I’m not upset, I’ve never even been married. But it would be a mistake for anyone to construe this thread as actual advice. That’s all. I mean, the OP is basically the embodiment of sexism in America. It makes men look bad because it reinforces the meme that all men want is sex all the time, and women’s complaints are so infinitesimal and puerile that they just need a good fuckin’ to get over it. EVERY WOMAN JUST NEEDS A LI’L COCK, RITE GUYZ? NUDGE NUDGE SAYNOMOAR!
Okay, maybe I’m a little upset. In the eye-rolly kind of way.
The complaints are mine, the guy with the cock, no female complaints were involved or harmed in the making of this post. And yes my complaints are so infinitesimal and puerile a good fucking and a little pussy gets me right over them.
I never knew encouraging couples to have sex would be so controversial
Sure, it’s your complaint, but I still don’t see how it’s good advice. If you’re angry and go fuck your wife to get over it, that’s a scary precedent, IMO.
Well, Pepper Milland I have tried playing Japanese Board games to smooth out rough patches in our marriage, but we generally find that sex works better.
Though, this technique has a serious problem, the underlying gripe doesn’t go away. You may have forgotten it post-coitus, but you will remember soon enough, the next time you see the capless toothpaste tube.
Then, you have to go have sex AGAIN, and AGAIN, and AGAIN just to keep things from piling up. What kind of life is that?
A bit more seriously, I think relationships do better when both parties make an effort to have a healthy and frequent sex life. Even if you’re not super into having sex at the moment, a good relationship sometimes means doing things you’re not enthusiastic about. Why shouldn’t this apply to sex, instead of just which restaurant to eat at, or which movie to go see?