Go Boomer Sooners (or Texas Jokes needed)

I’m so excited. This is my favorite college football weekend of the year!

Oklahoma -vs- Texas

My best friend (a stinkin’, low down, no good Texan) and I have a running bet for over 10 years now. We take the Danny Sheridan line from the USA Today, and bet it against each other. Thanks to Bob Stoops, I’ve in the black over the last few years.

Can you guys come to my aid? I need some good insulting jokes to stir things up. I’ll even start:

Q. How do you know when you’re in Texas?
A. When you get out of your car to take a pee, and the sheep [cows] start backing up to the fence!

I’m sure you guys (and gals) have a million of 'em. Just insert “Texas” into the [insert college name here] part of the joke, and give it to me.

Go Sooners!

What keeps Texas from sliding into the Gulf of Mexico?

Bathroom Graffitti:

Here I sit, my cheeks a flexin’
Giving birth to another Texan…

Did you hear about the Aggie that moved to Oklahoma?

Raised the IQ of both states!


Oklahoma vs. Texas? That’s not the biggest game this weekend.

Try Michigan vs. Penn State, at the corner of Stadium and Main in good old Ann Arbor! I will be there to cheer the Maize and Blue to victory.

Jerrybear, we aren’t talking about a game here, we’re talking about a rivalry, and a historic one at that.

"OU and Texas first squared off in 1900 and have played continually in Dallas during the State Fair of Texas since 1929 and in the Cotton Bowl since it opened in 1937. The population of the nation normally looks to Dallas on the second weekend in October as this game has been televised 41 times since its initial telecast in 1948. " here

This isn’t a football game, it’s cultural heritage! Having said all that, there’s no way in hell I’d go to the game, since I hate football

The toothbrush was invented in Texas.

If it was anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.

Aggie 1: “What’s that?”
Aggie 2: “A Thermos.”
Aggie 1: “What’s it fer?”
Aggie 2: “Keepin’ hot things hot, and cold things cold.”
Aggie 1: “Whatcha got in it?”
Aggie 2: “Lemonade and chili.”

The biggest Texas Joke ever is the fact that it has to share a border with you Okies. I’ve been to Oklahoma once and boy did it suck.
Texas rules!! Yeah!! WOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Maybe y’all can have houston… that would improve both states immensely.

Oh, sorry about that uncalled for outburst. It’s the seven generations of Texas blood that course my veins…that and the fact that the Sooners are gonna get their tooshies spanked up and down the field.

Hook’em Horns!!

Now, for this I might go to a game. But only if I could help! :smiley:

Jerrybear, riiiiiight. No. 10 vs. No. 17 is a muuuuuch* more important game that No. 2 vs. No. 3. I guess we’ll be seeing the “old maize and blue” running up against crimson and cream this January?

Go Sooners!!!

(No offense intended, just some good ol’ team-boosting)

What’s the difference between a coon-ass and a jack-ass?

Sabine River.

Q. How many blondes does it take to screw Texas?

A. One, Chris Simms.

Now, Now, no need to be insultin’ the whole state! Just the University of Texas!



Q. Why do the trees in South Bend bend to the west?

A. Because USC sucks and FSU blows.

Wait…sorry, wrong school.

Oklahoma sucks!

The thing most Okies don’t understand is that they aren’t UT’s biggest rivalry. The bigger rivalry is the UT / A&M rivalry.

I didn’t know it was Texas OU weekend once and thought I’d run down to the West End to eat… oh man, bad idea. Stay away!

NP: Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here

There’s a difference between Texas and Oklahoma? Who knew?

Poor little New Mexico - so far from heaven, so close to Texas.

The best joke concerning UT and OU? That Oklahoma boosters like E.Z. Million (his real name, btw- I didn’t make him up) and idiots like OU’s president have been trying for years to get the game moved away from Dallas, and turned into a regular home-and-away series.

And why, you ask, would Oklahoma boosters want such a thing, when fans on both sides have enjoyed makinbg the trek to Dallas each year? Because… get this… businessmen in Norman see all the toruism the game brings to Dallas, and are dreaming of all the money to be made if the game were in Norman every other year.

Get it? They actually think the 40-50,000 Texas fans who make a trip to Dallas each year (filling up Dallas hotels and restaurants, and spening lots of money) would come to NORMAN in similar numbers, and spend similar money there!!!

Like ANYONE in Texas would get in a car and drive 8 hours to NORMAN! People travel to Dallas and make a weekend of it, because there are lots of fun things to do in Dallas, quite apart from football. What, exactly, does E.Z. Million think would draw Texans to see the game in Norman?

Sorry, but that idiotic idea is funnier than any of the jokes posted so far.

You’ve never been to South Bend, Manhattan, Ann Arbor or Knoxville before, have you?

See, the problem is that Texas A&M isn’t that good at football right about now.

Besides, I think that this rivalry lost quite a bit of umph after the Bonfire Collapse.