I love them more than anything in the world, but they are visiting for the weekend, are in their late 50s/early 60s (but act much, much older) and foreigners to boot, so there is even more of that old-people confusedness . . .
We went on a trip to Charleston, and decided to go to the visitor’s center. The parking lot said “full,” but my dad insisted that, “just because the sign says that doesn’t mean it’s really full; I’ve seen it at the Atlanta airport” blah blah blah. So, he tries to go in and of course he can’t get a ticket and the bar doesn’t raise, as the lot is CLEARLY full. Of course, the solution to this problem is to press the “take ticket” button several more times. After that’s unsuccessful, he decides to go and talk to the attendant, and then comes back muttering about how they don’t speak good English and he can’t understand her, blahblahblah. Now there is a line of cars building up behind ours . . . long, terribly embarrassing story short, we eventually get in, only after pissing people off. And my dad does not see how he’s done anything wrong or inefficient.
So then, as we’re leaving, we need to get gas. I try to pump but my mom insists on pumping. I wasn’t watching but somehow she gets $.30 worth of gas before it stops pumping. Then she reinserts her card, and after she types in her zip code, the card is rejected (probably because the last time she used it she was about 500 miles south and the credit card company considers that “suspicious activity.”) Of course, the logical thing at this point is to re-try the card, and when it still doesn’t work, to try hitting buttons and non-buttons on the gas pump. Then my dad notices nothing is happening, and he comes out and insists that he try to run the card, cause of course we’re all artards who can’t work a gas pump except him. Finally, the attendant comes out and tells my mom to go ahead and pump and pay inside.
And just now my dad was muttering about how this nation is going to hell in a handbasket because the kids don’t know proper grammar cause the school’s don’t teach it and why the hell does Obama think that raising taxes will help the economy and we only have the stupid youngsters who voted for him to blame for the state this country is in and blah blah blah. All while his shorts are up to his nipples.
And last night my mom was complaining that 4 dollars was waaaay to big a tip a give to the pizza delivery guy. She hates tipping.
There were many more such situations. You know, I love them and I dread the day they are gone. But they really act way older than they are. They’re so confused by everything, all the time. They take so long to absorb new information and adapt to new situations. And they are well -freaking-educated and very high income and such!
Gah. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.