Yes and no. I wouldn’t do it with a dog I came across, running around without an owner to be seen. However, when someone wants to pet my dog (and everyone wants that), I tell them how to do it and yes, it involves sticking your face close to his and possibly be slobbered with doggie drool. Of course, you only have my word for it, and it’s your choice, but if you want to pet my puppy, you do it the way I want to. A boxer loves jumping up on people and it takes a lot of effort on my part to discourage that. When people stand up or just bend a little to pet him, he’ll try to jump up to give a big and sloppy doggie kiss. That’s fine for a 30lb adorable puppy. When he’s an 80lb jumping drool-bomb, it’s not fine, and it’s to late to teach him at that point.
Barker Story:
When I first moved into my (now former) house, the couple two doors down had a roughly 30 pound dog that barked all the time. They never did a thing about it. In fact, they would disappear overnight and tie the thing up on the back porch, which is Animal Cruelty. The dog would howl all night long.
One morning at 5am he was howling like he was seriously injured or something. I walked down swearing a blue streak, saying something about shooting the damned thing as I passed through my kitchen. Oops. The window facing their house was open. The woman was standing there, not five feet from the dog, smoking a cigarette and actively ignoring it as it howled bloody murder. Ah, but she heard me, and immediately threatened to shoot me.
I called the Police. They were given a $75 noise citation, and it wasn’t the first time.
A short while later, petition was signed by seven neighbors (only five required) and the dog was removed from the house.
Asshole former friends story:
They had a dog about the same sized, which no one other than them liked or wanted to be around. A prospect which they were a bit belligerent about. One day I’m sitting at the table eating dinner with the wife and one of their kids.
The dog thrusts itself into my groin and bites down (it had a habit of eating paper and I had a napkin on my lap), catching my penis. I instantly react, bending forward and grabbing it’s snout. I’m struggling with the dog, attempting to pry it’s mouth open as it is fighting me, it’s front legs off the ground shoving itself harder into my crotch. MORON sits across the table from me, completely, willfully oblivious.
Finally I pry the jaws open and cross my legs to force it out of my crotch. It staggers backwards, hitting the table leg, the Moron’s leg. She jumps straight out of her chair and, screaming at me, accuses me of kicking her dog under the table.
White faced from shock and pain, I explain that I did not kick the dog, that it bit me in the groin. She then proceeds to scream louder, “Well it’s your own damned fault for having a napkin on your lap when you know that she likes to eat paper!” She then went back to yelling at me for supposedly kicking the dog.
Not one fucking word of apology was ever offered, even later, nor was the dog ever disciplined.
My only regrets are that I didn’t instantly jump up, spit in Moron’s face and call the Police to report the dog bite. And that I still associated with these assholes for a year or so afterwards.
People, keep your damned dogs quiet and keep them OFF OF OTHER PEOPLE!
(Disclaimer: I don’t own dogs now, but I have had as many as four in the past. So I’m not a dog hater.)
Nuts! Would you live with a police siren on 24/7 across the street? I don’t think so. In my case I wish I knew who this irresponsible owner is so I could go over there and have a polite chat with him before I get the authorities involved. I’m reaching my wits end.
Gaspode, the reason I feel so strongly is because my younger brother was bitten on the face by his girlfriend’s pet. The dog didn’t mean to do it, he was just overly excited.
My brother is now scarred above his lip from the stitches required. My brother had been dating his girlfriend for several years at that point and was no stranger to the dog. The dog was not a biter and had never bitten anyone before.
Because of that experience, I think it’s a bad idea to ever put your face near the face of an excited dog.
Why do you assume these sounds don’t exist in the country? My parents live outside of a village of 200 people, with the township firehouse about a half-mile up the road. With the exception of women and children screaming, you will hear all of the above at almost any time of the day or night there, although gunshots generally mean something very different where they live.
As for me, I am definitely NOT a dog hater. I love dogs, and don’t have one of my own only because I live in an apartment. I actually used the “knee to to the chest” to cure the dog I had as a kid of jumpin on people. After doing it twice, she never jumped on anyone again.
As for the situations I mentioned in the OP, I think my frustration was compounded because the owners were right there, and I couldn’t give either animal a sharp crack on the top of the skull with my knuckles. Experience with strange dogs has taught me that nothing cools their ardor faster than this.
But I would only do such a thing for extreme canine misbehavior. It’s pretty hard for an animal, dog or cat, to annoy me; I like them too much. A dog could follow me around and get underfoot, it could shove its nose in my crotch, it could stare at me while I eat, I don’t care. But jabbing me with sharp nails, jumping on me all day long, licking every part of me it can reach continually, and standing in front of the TV barking at us because there’s a big game on and we’re all cheering, those things get a rap on the skull.
I agree about keeping dogs off- we have two large beasts, and on Thanksgiving they will be side roomed, as I know a few guests are uncomfortable with large dogs (scared) and one is a Rottie. It won’t kill them for a day any more then kenneling them for a weekend once in a great while will. I can’t stand people who have jumping drooling mutts that just let them get all over you and your clothes.
There is a useful thing you can teach your dogs. It’s the command “Enough!” It means stop bugging me for attention and go AWAY. Ours are very good about it. Ignore how hurt Rusty looks sometimes when he hears it, because he gets LOTS of attention.
I used to deliver for FedEx and many times a customer would have a threatening dog. They often used the line, “He hasn’t ever bitten anyone before”. I used to think that every dog that ever bit anybody had a time in its life where it hadn’t bitten anybody before. It doesn’t mean it will never happen.
I can’t believe no one has suggested “you burning his dog” yet. 
There is no reason someone who is either afraid of dogs, or allergic to dogs, or who just doesn’t LIKE dogs should be pounced on when visiting a dog-owning friend. That’s just bad doggy manners, and I don’t care if it’s your best friend and pal and furry child - it’s BAD MANNERS. The behavior can be changed and turned into something completely different that won’t lead to you isolating your visitor or your dog!
<b> for the visitor </b>: If a dog jumps up at you, knee it in the chest. It’s the safest, quickest way to show a dog NOT to jump once and for all. It also protects you, should the dog have springs in its legs (like my Zap, who is an adolescent currently and has lost most of her brain) and connect with your nose. If the owner is in the “but he just wants to say hi” mode, tell him or her: “Dogs make me nervous. Could you put him on a leash while I’m here?” It’s easier than asking them to put the dog away, and usually solves most of the problem.
<b>for the dog owner</b>: Dogs like people. Well, most of them do. I’m a trainer, and yet… I currently have a adolescent puppy who likes to greet people by screaming and jumping and being an all around twit. We’re working on it. It’s not always easy. I give people a warning ahead of time. An excellent tool to help you, if you need to isolate the dog in a section of the room and keep your hands free (no leash): get an exercise pen. It’s like a playpen for dogs. If you know you have visitors coming, prepare a tasty Kong, freeze it. THAT should be far more interesting to your dog than your guests. That’s step one in trying to curb the behavior.
The key is to replace the bad behavior by another behavior that makes the “value proposition” work in favour of the dog.
Here’s what I teach dog owners: turn the “OH MY GOD, THERE’S SOMEONE HERE! HELLO PERSON! PLAY! LOVE ME! HIIIII! HI HI HI HI HI HI HI!” behavior into something completely different. Make the event of the ringing doorbell focused entirely on something else: “OH MY GOD! THE DOORBELL RANG! WHERE’S MOM! WHERE’S MOM! THERE ARE TREATS TO BE HAAAAAD!”
My parents’ Golden, Sophie, used to be insane when people would come to the door. She loooooved guests. She is a HUGE Golden. HUGE. Her paws are the size of a Bernese Mountain Dog’s paws. She has the standard Golden “play growl” which she uses to greet people when she has a toy in her mouth. This scares some folks. Sure, Sophie’s just an interractive rug most of the time, but she can be a pretty scary beast if you’re afraid of dogs. My grampa is one such person, and he has an artificial knee that could get… hurt… if she were to pounce on him. So, we taught her not to be an asshole when people would come to visit.
I used to keep her on leash and collar when people would arrive, then drill obedience (sit, down, stay, stand, return to heel, front, paw, look at me…"with REALLY yummy treats while they came in and my 'rents took their coats, did the greetings, etc. I told everyone to IGNORE SOPHIE (and me!). Meanwhile, I would feed her grub for keeping eye contact with me. Kept her on leash until she chilled out enough, and then the novelty was gone and she’d curl up with a toy and fall asleep. At first, I’d release her and she’d go straight for the guests - but the MINUTE I’d call her back she’d run back to me (knowing I had a pocket full of dehydrated liver).
Now, apparently, when the doorbell rings, Sophie DARTS to my dad, sits in front of him, and expects food. It took a while, but it WORKS. For small to large dogs, it’s an easy solution. It is nice to have two people to do it, but if you have understanding friends who are willing to help you, tell them ahead of time. Tell them to ring the doorbell, that you will open the door (with pooch on leash), and then they’ll have to fend for themselves a few minutes while you work with the dog. That’s also when having an Ex Pen is great. 
If you have more than one dog, the technique works very well too. Make sure your treats are muchos yummy and far more interesting than your guests. Arm yourself with Kongs and an Ex Pen for when you “release” the hounds.
Wufs from the schmutts,
Elly n’ the dawgs
Spanky (still jumps up, learning not to)
Zap (the teenager who just defies authority right now)
Valen (the distinguished old man who knows how to behave)
Ah! Yes, and to echo Zette:
When you have a big partay - find yourself a local K9 resort (yes, resort. You read that well) It’s not a kennel per se, so your doggy won’t be all… kenneled up and it won’t break your heart… he’ll get to play with others, get stories read to him, and generally have a GRAND time. It will be pricy, but if it’s only for one night… hey! Go for it.
We used to do that with Soph’ when she was little and we had a huge group of people coming - mostly because she’s a thief and would steal food from folks who were sitting down in the living room… (usually when they weren’t looking, either) It was easier than trying to wrangle the dog, protect the food, and keep scared guests comfortable.
I’ve had dogs since I was little, and neither my family nor I have ever behaved this way. We either trained our dogs to behave, or if they got too excited we’d put them in another room or outside.
Like someone else I mentioned, I usually get the opposite, “oh, she’s okay, she’s just being a dog”. No. She knows better, even though she’s little and you may think that her “herding” you by trying to nip at your toes is funny, she knows that it’s unacceptable behaviour around guests.
I had to “train” my coworkers to get after rather than encourage my dog’s “naughtiness”!!! They all thought that she was so cute and funny, that they’d actually try to GET her to behave badly and “herd” them.
CanvasShoes – bless you. I’d hate to be herded, and I like dogs!
I can’t blame people for being intimidated when they hear our dogs bark but don’t know them. They have impressive barks. And I honestly believe they would never deliberately hurt a human (unless, possibly, Isaac thought I was seriously threatened, which has never happened). But I don’t expect people to take my word for that when they haven’t gotten to know them yet.
I worked with a pet rescue for a little while, and we had a six-month-old or so Lab-mix pup returned because, “He jumps on people.” Well, no shit, he’s a puppy, and he’s a Lab-mix besides. It’s called training, you moron. But I was also told to never argue with a return, because if they were willing to give the animal back for shoddy reasons like that, everybody would be better off if they did, and at least they didn’t take it to one of the notorious local shelters.
Regarding the barking dogs and noise pollution:
We have two dogs. They stay in our fenced-in backyard. Many times we have heard them scrabble off the deck, race across the yard, and volley barks through the fence. This happens late at night sometimes, and I’m sure our neighbors just love it.
Saturday night, about 11:30, I was locking everything up and getting ready for bed when the two canine rockets launched once again. I hurried to the door leading to the deck, opened it, and hissed “Hush!” at them. (This usually works fairly well.) This time, though, they ignored me and continued to stand at the fence and bark.
I headed down the deck steps in my socks, prepared to speak sternly to the dogs. When I got down, though, lo and behold, there was a little fluffy white dog standing in our yard on the other side of the fence, just ambling around. It obviously was enjoying antagonizing my two dogs, who were desperately trying to run it off.
I hopped the fence and chased the damned creature away. My two dogs slunk away from me when I climbed back into the yard, figuring they were in trouble for continuing to bark. But I couldn’t blame them for that one.
Who sends their dog out at midnight to stroll the neighborhood? That’s just stupid.
Perhaps the dog slipped out of its fenced yard?
I’ve never understood who would want a dog for a pet and condemn it to living outside all the time.
Um … you’re aware that this is what animals do on a routine basis, right?
The fluffy white dog in question had to have been an inside dog. Literally, this thing was a ball of fur. If it stayed outside, its fur would get at least some dirt and/or grass on it. Plus, the two little ribbons it was wearing on its head would probably get scuffed up.
Of course. My dog is let out before I leave for work, when I come home from work, before I go to bed, and any other time she starts to act hinkey. She is rarely left outside for more than a quarter hour, usually just long enough to chase the miscellany rodents and relieve her bowels and bladder. My query was in regards to people who profess to have a pet dog, but the dog doesn’t live in the house, it lives in the yard.
I guess I’m not understanding your frame of reference – pets can’t stay outside on a regular basis? Whyever not?
We bring our dogs inside when it gets too cold out, but other than that, they stay in the fenced-in yard. That way, they get plenty of exercise, fresh air, etc.
I second that emotion, having just plowed into a black dog in a rainstorm, at night. Oh well, there was apparently more damage to my car than the dog.
Barking dogs late at night: cat owners are mostly to blame, at least in my house. The one thing that will make all my dogs go crazy with barking (shepherd) and howling (beagles) is a neighborhood cat in the driveway or yard.
Nothing is funnier to a cat, I guess, than sitting there cleaning a front paw in my yard at about 3 AM. Until, one day, I let the shepherd do what she wants to do, which is go out and “play” with the cat. Nah, I own cats. But, I can dream, can’t I?
eh, it probably is more of a different perspective. I would never dream of leaving my house and leaving the dog outside. I would never leave my dog outside overnight. When I am home, she is usually in the same room that I am. I don’t demand that she stays around me, she just prefers to. She is probably spoiled from the amount of attention she gets from me, but that is what I have a dog for. And back to the OP, my visitors usually have to cajole her to get her to come over. She isn’t crazy about strangers, and even people she knows she will not go up to them until she is called. She certainly isn’t allowed to jump up on anyone.