I choose confident, well-adjusted women.
Oh, no, we managed that back on the first page with “clingy”
Aaaargh! The point is that I thought I did, at the time, have a reason to be worried. I give up.
Hey, I can see why you called when you woke up in the middle of the night and he wasn’t there, just to check in. But how many times did you call? If you were able to leave a message the first time, what purpose did all those calls serve but to reveal your unhappiness that he was late? If he was really hurt, would calling 10 times have helped that? Is there some purpose the frenzied calling served that was missed in this thread? I think that’s what your critics are saying-- that the calling seems to have no altruistic motive but actually stems from a desperate need to know where he was and why he wasn’t where he said he would be-- with you.
And you know, I understand how damn aggravating it is when someone you care about cannot do what they say they’re going to do. It’s inconsiderate and upsetting. I’m just not sure that calling a lot in the middle of the night is going to help that. In fact, I think it might make it worse.
Well, one of the reasons I call him more than once if I can’t get him is mechanical - his phone does funny things all the time. Sometimes it lets me into his voice mail. Often it goes right to voice mail and doesn’t ring - if I call back immediately it rings, so don’t tell me he turns it off.
Sometimes he turns off the ringer at a movie or something and forgets to turn it back on, and he misses the vibration or the flashy light the first time. Generally he doesn’t bother to check his voice mail when it’s me or a friend or somebody unless he’s waiting to hear something from them - he’ll call you the next day and say, “Hey, what did you want?” instead, which is dumb. He checks it when clients called. I mean, there’s plenty of reasons to call more than once. When I called more than “several”, it’s because I started to freak out a bit. I don’t generally ring his phone off the hook at him unless it’s surprising that he doesn’t answer it (like if he was waiting on me to call him before he did something, and I know it’s probably his phone.)
Since this thread has been resurrected, may I quickly comment the following:
“How do I know you’re not dead if you DO call” My point being, he or she could always be a zombie. How do you tell if somebody is a zombie over the phone?
Welcome to the SDMB, but we have a rule against resurrecting old threads. Please don’t do this again.
Closed.