[removed material from another site; see link below]
[ETA: not original to me]
I’m sorry, but I HAVE to do the Atheist response to this questionare 
<snip> Blah, blah, blah…
- How did you find out about God?
[snip]
x Other (specify): _Parents tried to brainwash me as a child (and failed) - Which model God did you acquire?
[snip]
x None of the above; I was taken in by a false god (ALL “gods” are false) - Did your God come to you undamaged, with all parts in good working Order and with no obvious breakage or missing attributes?
____ Yes x No
If not, please describe the problems you initially encountered here. Please indicate all that apply:
[snip]
_x All of the above
-
What factors were relevant in your decision to acquire a God? Please check all that apply:
X Indoctrinated by parents (failed attempt)
____ Needed a reason to live
[snip] -
Are you currently using any other source of inspiration in addition to God? Please check all that apply.
[snip]
x Other: none of the above, not needed
6. Have you ever worshipped a false God before? If so, which false God were you fooled by? Please check all that apply.
[snip]
x Other: _ALL “gods” are false, nonexistent
7. God employs a limited degree of Divine Intervention to preserve the balanced level of felt presence and blind faith. Which would you prefer? (circle one)
(d. What’s Divine Intervention?)
8. God also attempts to maintain a balanced level of disasters and miracles. Please rate, on a scale of 1 (unsatisfactory) to 5 (excellent), God’s handling of the following:
[snip]
10. Do you have any additional comments or suggestions for improving the quality of God’s services?
“God” does not exist, how can a non-existent entity offer services in the first place?
Askance: The expectation around here is that people post material that they have written. When you find something elsewhere on the internet you think your fellow Dopers will enjoy, please link to it, don’t cut and paste the entire piece.
Thanks.
twickster, MPSIMS moderator