Going back for a PhD. WTF am I doing?!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Brought on by a wave of exhaustion, ennui, and despair in the midst of finishing one job, buying a house, starting a doctoral program, and moving many miles to a new city.

So I’ve had my master’s since 1998. I have worked since then and built a up a pretty damned good resume. I’ve moved around the country, traveled, gotten married, and become a settled-in, happy, scientist. I get to go out in the woods whenever I want, I work in isolation miles away from anyone else, I get to basically write my own ticket.

So what’s the problem?

Well, I was hired 4 years ago on a temporary 4-year assignment, and now my time is up. I don’t WANT it to be up. I’d hang on to this gig with everything I had except that the end is now unavoidable. At the end of July, I lose my job, and I’m getting cut adrift.

“Great time to go back to get your doctorate,” thought I. “Whoa! Awesome!”, agreed me. So I applied, retook the GRE, etc. and sailed through the app process. I even secured a generous stipend and a tuition waiver. Cool!

Except, y’know, what in the living goddamn FUCK am I doing?! I’m a salaried professional. I like getting paid to do my job. I like being comfortable on my salary. I told myself after round 1 of grad school that I was finished. No more tests, no more college horseshit, no more papers, no more stoopid academia politics. Terminal degree. Finito.

But here I am, staring down the barrel of four more years of oral comps, written comps, a dissertation, classes, books, teaching some prof’s 8AM classes, and student poverty. Dear God, I may have a panic attack.

OK, maybe not, but what the hell am I thinking? PLEASE GOD, somebody tell me this crap is going to be worth it someday.

I need another beer.

2

Have two beers and start looking for another job. Enough school’s enough. That worked for me.

Well, you asked! Good luck, whichever which away you decide to go.

3

I refuse to begrudge anyone the opportunity to strive for a career doing something they actually enjoy. If that’s why you’re going back for your Ph.D., then more power to you.

4

Yeah, I’m actually going back to get a doctorate in the field I’m passionate about (biology, or more specifically, ecology,) so that’s good. But urgh.

And JCoM: :stuck_out_tongue:

5

The PhD takes far far far far far longer and is much much much much much more psychically distressing than the Masters. As for being worth it. . . God I hope so. I’m starting my second year of non-tenure track work and I hope this pays off next year.
I had a ball, though. I love school, and can do the monastic lifestyle just fine.
Be very sure you want to do this. If you do, that’s very cool. If you’re not sure. . . it’s a commitment. If you just need a new job or a hobby, then do that.

6

Ah, then you have to! How lucky you are to be able to pursue a passion through academics! Let it be a feast for your mind even though it is a trial.

A few years ago my step-daughter was thinking about making a mid-life change and going to law school. She groaned that she would be forty by the time she graduated. I asked her how old she would be if she didn’t go to law school. :slight_smile:

She graduates on Saturday!

BTW, I have always referred to my favorite college professor as “the friendly ogre.”

7

No urgh at all mate. Sure, doing a PhD is a lot of work and can be exhausting at times, but pursuing an interest is not a job anymore, its a lifestyle. You are your own boss. Of course the more responsibility on yourself to complete all the tasks at hand, but dont you love that freedom? I do.

Im supposed to complete my PhD in marine biology sometime this year. Its been hell of a ride, but wheee, I have loved every second of it. I am also aware that when Im finished, its all up to me to start applying for more project grants. Being a scientist is a bit like being a hamster in that wheel, keep running to keep the projects alive. But hey, Im a happy hamster! :wink:

8

I got my PhD when I was young and stupid. Then I went back to respecialize ina different area, meaning 2 more years of classwork, an internship, and a post-doc. IOW, 4 years of school/training after a PhD, and after being a salaried professional. Bits of it sucked, but by and large, it was wonderful and I don’t regret a minute of it. For me, grad school as an adult was much better than the first time around.

Best of luck to you, Ogre! Just remember why you chose to do this, and plunge in head first.

9

You’re a little older, a little more wiser, a little more hardened and you’re going for a PhD in something you’re passionate about. Dude, you are so gonna ace this! Congrats and good luck!