Just curious how you did it and how you handled it.
I have a 16 month old son, work full-time, and am married. I’m considering going through a state university’s online program for a degree in IT. It’s the exact same program that I would do if I attended classes on campus, but the campus is two hours away (and yes, it’s an actual brick-and-mortar school that happens to offer this program online). They offer the entire program online (first step is to get an AS, then take additional credits for the BS). It’s the best option for my right now, as my son is in daycare all day, so I could study after he goes to bed.
I know it would be difficult, but truly, how difficult is it if you’ve done it? I love my current job, but I need a career, and am aching to get back to learning and getting a marketable degree.
I think my goal would be to complete the AS, and move into the field with that (or even just move to a different related position at my current company because I truly love this place), and then continue on with the BS degree while working within the field.
Any tips? I’m thinking I’d probably start this summer.
I don’t have tips, but I can share a little inspiration.
I have a friend who got her BS in chemistry at the same time as me. She has a husband who works shifts in a mill and runs his own landscaping business on the side during the summer. They have a daughter who turned five in September. While pregnant with her daughter and working full time as an engineer, she got her MBA.
Unfortunately it was from the University of Phoenix, online, and it didn’t get her into her desired field of pharmaceutical sales. (that and her complete lack of sales experience) So she went back to pharmacy school. While raising a preschooler. And working full time. With a spouse working full time and then some. She started a program at a school 1.5hrs away that is all day Saturday and Sunday pretty much every single weekend for two years.
She just started her internship and quit the full time job a few months ago.
None of us have heard from her much in the past two years, but she’s happier than she’s been in at least eight years. She’s thrilled to be leaving the automotive industry, and her new career will enable them to move out of the rust belt which is something they’ve been wanting to do for years. I’m thrilled for her.
I’m positive it was not easy for her or her family. I’m pretty sure she caught some flack from her in-laws, but they are crazy people who think women shouldn’t have careers anyway.
My own mother went back to school for an associate’s in IT when I was in middle school. She had been a stay at home mom for 11 years. My brother was only 2yrs old at the time. My dad had to make a huge adjustment since she was no longer able to do 100% of the housework/child rearing, but it turned out to be a net positive because it was the first time I can really remember my dad being involved with us kids any more than necessary.
She’s had a great career in IT (with a few ups and downs that seem to be the industry standard). I think it was a wise move.
I say go for it! Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Just make sure your other half is on board to help you out, because you’ll need it.
My kids-n-college phase began when I was in undergraduate school while expecting my oldest; graduate school followed along with her brother. The last semester of grad school I had a six-week old and a three-year old.
Much of it is a blur.
I remember that I didn’t worry too much about keeping the cleanest house, or cooking the most gourmet foods ever - I cut out just about every trivial or inconsequential thing out of my schedule. I didn’t socialize much either. Seems like since I wasn’t single and out partying, that I actually had more time than other students anyway !
I didn’t work full-time; I worked part-time (on campus) and took out a lot of student loans.
I’m very glad that I went back, and I think you will be too. Good luck!
I completed a law degree last year. I studied part-time for five and a half years, while working full-time.
Tips:
be realistic in your assessment of what you can accomplish in a semester. Getting through the subjects slowly but surely in a manageable way is much more productive than taking on too big a burden and then failing.
plan like crazy. Know when assessment tasks are due and block out time in your schedule to do all the necessary work. Build in buffers for unexpected work-related or family-related interruptions. You will need them.
I got my undergraduate while my kids were still at home. About 3/4 of my undergraduate I was married, so I had some help (although since he traveled 100% for his job, not as much as you might assume).
I finished my undergraduate as a single mom. We shared custody so it wasn’t ultra bleak but money was quite tight. I was also working full time so school was definitely one class a semester until I finished.
I just finished my graduate degree in August. The kids are grown so I didn’t have that responsibility but I did and do have a far more demanding career now. Fortunately most of mine was online as well (had to attend two 2-week sessions on campus–like yours, they offer the same degree live and virtual).
Going online was the best choice for me. Having said that, others in my program struggled because there was no professor nagging them face to face to attend or complete a research assignment or a thesis for that matter). I needed to be a self starter and would assume you would as well for your program.
I did it, kids were in the lower grades of elementary school. I was working full time in a clerical position in a data systems office and went to school part time to learn programming and systems analysis. Keys for me were:
Having a supporting other to willingly take care of your kids when you can’t be there, and to do household chores you don’t have time to do. In my case, my husband was overwhelmingly supportive.
Time management.
Prioritize. The dust will still be there tomorrow.
In our case it was certainly worth it; my earning power increased significantly. It’s also a good example to the children that certain things can be done with effort. They get to see you doing your homework, studying, etc., setting a good example. Also that it’s not just women who can do housework and take care of children.
I just finished a B.S. in Accounting. I hadn’t bothered to finish my Bachelors the first time around. I started when the kids were five and six, had 20 classes to take, and took a little over three years. I graduated with honors.
First, Brainiac4 and my mother were both huge helps. My boss was also helpful in her “oh, you don’t need to take a vacation day if you are going to study for that test and still dial into your two meetings - that isn’t a vacation day” interpretation of our rules (she is right, I’m salaried, dial in for ONE meeting and you’ve worked that day.) The last half of the degree, my mother’s availability decreased - I had one sister that we discovered was an alcoholic, the other was diagnosed with breast cancer with two at home in diapers.
Second, I took only one class in class each semester. The second was online or independent study. That meant I could take that course functionally during my lunch hour. I was only gone from home one night a week - sometimes a second study night (when my mother was around.)
Third, I chose a non-challenging school. I couldn’t have pulled this off at a top notch school, but the state school I went to was populated by mouth breathers and shaved monkeys. For most classes, showing up was enough to pull a C.
Forth, I majored in something I had some exposure to. I’m not an accountant, but I’ve been working in business for 20+ year - including time in Finance and Tax - so most of the concepts were not alien. Something completely new and different - say Biochemistry - would have, I think, been far more challenging.
I had one night of class a week, I probably put in another four to six hours a week on average for both the second class and homework for the first. This was MUCH less than most of my classmates (and with better results than most of them).
Ah, thank you so much for the personal experiences. They give me a lot of hope.
The nice thing is that I do know my husband will be wonderful - he already is pretty 50/50 in child-rearing, so we can work with it. He’s agreeable to it - in fact, his only real concern is taking out student loans.
It will probably mean putting off having a second child for a few years (I’m 32 now, so I still have time), but I can handle that. At this point, daycare for two would be absolutely insane, so we just keep pushing our timeline back further and further anyway.
Dangerosa, I will shoot you a PM tomorrow. I’m headed off to get some sleep, but thank you for the offer :).
My mom started college with a five-year-old and finished with an eight-year-old and a two-year-old. She worked fulltime though most of that time, too. My dad looked after us whenever his work schedule allowed for it, and we had a steady babysitter for the rest of the time. I think she found it harder to put aside time to do the coursework than attend classes, but ymmv.
With going to school online, you’re going to have to be very firm with yourselves and other about what is “school time” for you. I think it might in some ways end up being harder for you than those of us whose moms attended brick-and-mortar schools, because there are more distractions and temptations in the house that you’d avoid by being away from your home and family. If it becomes a problem, be prepared to sit down with your spouse and regroup so you can succeed.
