I can’t believe you’ve been on the internet so long and never heard fugly? I hear it all the time!
Heh.
Oh, and I thought a joke was supposed to be, oh, I dunno-funny?
Maybe I’m getting old.
:rolleyes:
Stoid: You forgot to hyphenate. Other than that it was perfect.
I can’t believe Icculus is still getting bitten for that small part of his OP.
…looks like an apology to me.
I assume people are objecting to the concept of weight being used as an indicator of loserhood? I read Icculus’ line as being sarcastic about the stereotypes that abound about regular-dose internet-users. We may be 200lb, lonely and hideous, but he’s bald, kind of thing. To people who use that stereotype, 200lb is a figure that denotes “overweight” (amongst other negative things), and I thought Icculus was using that to introduce his own “loser” characteristic i.e. his baldness. He just wanted a little reassurance, IMO, the same way I do when I’m feeling down and ugly and I say to my friends, “Hey you ugly tarts, er I mean pretty vixens, I feel like a bag of blancmange today, what’ll I do?”. My friends then say “You’re a fightin’ tiger kitten”. They don’t say “Shut the fuck up, was that meant to be funny?” and then make jokes about my spare tyre… Well, maybe they do, but it’s gentle…
Embra
Embra, what planet are you from?
I have no idea what the hell you just said.
To all who were offended…
I do apologize. It honestly was a joke, but I guess only Embra got it. Sorry.
I posted this not to offend, but to get some feedback. Thanks to those of you answered.
I know the comb-over is probably a bad idea, but it is an option nonetheless. Perhaps if all men tried the comb-over, and did it with some class, we might start a new trend. A hip comb-over, if you will.
I think I’ll put the shavings on my head.
There does not seem to be such a thing as a ‘hip’ combover. A combover with streaks? A combover with spiked tips? A combover with diagonal cut ends? hmmm…
What’s wrong with your skull? Why are you scared to show it?! 
Wherever it is, evidently it has less gravity and more levity that Earth…
Just trying to explain why I found what Icculus said light-hearted as opposed to grossly offensive. The tenor of his post seemed to me to be SELF DEPRECATING.
Feel free to read again.
E
Is “comb-over” supposed to be hyphenated?
aarr, I just read my post again, and maybe kellibelli has a point… The meaning may be obscured by blancmange and tiger kittens…
Still, I expect Read Icculus is a tiger kitten too, after his fashion.
Em
As a balding guy that has finally come to terms, here’s the scoop:
Keep your hair short and even.
My opinion on shaving your head is that black guys can get away with it; white guys stand out like a bald thumb.
Grow a short beard; it’ll give you some hair that you can count on.
Try minoxidil; don’t expect miracles but psychologically it’s good, and I personally think it has slowed my loss.
Stay away from Propecia. That stuff messes with your hormones and can have side effects worse than baldness.
No hair pieces! Do I even have to explain?
Wear a cap when you don’t feel like walking around bald.
How women respond - You no longer have a universally accepted ‘good look’. Some women will ignore you as some men ignore overweight women. Others will find you irresistable. Don’t hate the women that ignore you - let’s face it, you’re balding - it’s not for everyone. Pay them no mind. There’s enough bald-loving women out there to keep life fun and interesting.
What nationality are you? I dont recognize some of your words, although I liked the “less gravity and more levity that Earth”
You seem very witty, but I dont recognize your slang…
intrigued,
Kelli
Now this was enough of an opening that I have to come in and share. You know how Ron Howard always has a baseball cap on? Well, we all know what he’s hiding under it, since you can’t exactly wear a cap to the Oscars. But my mom, who just adored little Opie, had no clue that Ron was having scared-rabbit problems. I happened to have the good fortune of being with her when she saw him sans cap for the first time, and you know, I had no clue that humans could make that kind of noise. Figured someone had died, for god’s sake, she was screeching so loudly. All I could think was ‘Geez, the man’s been balding for YEARS now… where the hell have you been?’ While hysterically laughing at her, of course.
Then again, this is the woman who learned the words to “Mares eat oats” at age 60. 
-BK
Hi, I’m Lightnin’ , and I have male pattern baldness.
“Hi, Lightnin’!”
I started losing my hair when I was, oh, 20 or so. Before that (hell, all my damn life), I had an extremely high forehead. I’m easy to spot in family photos- I’m the glare. My hair’s also always been very thin, and extremely difficult to control. Can you tell I never really liked my hair?
To make up for it, I grew my hair reasonably long, generally down to my shoulders. I’m pretty sure I was in denial.
Anyway, I finally said “Fuck it.” (This is the Pit, I can do that sort of thing!). I shaved my head.
I’m never goin’ back. Sure, I have to put sunscreen on my head- but I needed to do that when I HAD hair, and it’s really hard to put sunscreen on hair, you know?
That’s the only drawback.
Women come up to me, and just start rubbing my scalp. I mean, how bad can that be? I’m a heck of a lot more distinctive now- people remember me, 'cause there really aren’t too many shorn guys out there. I’m a fairly large guy- now I can look MEAN if I want to.
To keep my head from being just a round, white ball on top of my shoulders, I had to grow a goatee- but luckily, those with male pattern baldness typically can grow GREAT beards. I can shave my beard off and have a new one within a week. Of course, another side effect is back hair… :rolleyes:
Regardless, though… Dude, just do it. If you don’t like it, let it grow out into a buzz cut. It’s your head, do what makes you happy.
…one other thing - stay (or get) in shape. Even the gals that are attracted to bald tend to shy away from fat and bald. Not a good combo.
Earlier a few people were asking why some men have comb-overs since they are seemingly universally though of as hideous. Well, I have a theory about this, as a man who is getting older and watching my hair slowly (but not slowly enough, dammit!) depart from my head.
They’re fooling themselves. I know personally the sense of desperation you feel when you look in the mirror (mirrors quickly become your hated enemy, you learn to brush [sub]what’s left of[/sub] your hair without one) and wince at what’s going on. You so so so want to believe that no one notices what’s happening up there or that it really isn’t happening at all, it’s just your imagination.
Now, for some men, we learn to cope. We might wear hats more. Or maybe we shave it all off. Or maybe we joke about it. Some just say WTF and let it go. However, those that do not cope and can’t come to grips with it fight it every step of the way by plastering limp strands of side-hair over the shiny top. All the while fooling themselves thinking that no one thinks THEIR comb-over is nasty.
I feel their pain. You should try to, too. The more men learn to cope, the fewer Hollywood actors who are balding will resort to plugs, toupees, weaves, or propecia and the more role models we’ll all have. We can make it together, brothers. Be proud. Be beautiful. Damn it, be bald.
Apology accepted.
Now let me add my voice the the crowds screaming at you:
ALL combovers suck. ALL combovers make you look pathetic. ALL combovers are for really sad, sad, losers. NO combover has the effect of making you look like you have hair. NO combover makes you look attractive. NO combover will fool anyone.
In other words COMBOVERS ARE SATANIC.
Embrace the reality of your baldness. Love yourself and thank god that baldness has definitely become a certain kind of cool in the 21st century. And total baldness is definitely better than fringy baldness.
And for the majority of bald men, a great look is to grow a goatee and moustache.
stoid
I too have recently joined the bald headed club. It’s a real good club with lots of company. You get to tell self-deprecating bald jokes, shave, shower and be completely dry in 5 minutes.
As for combovers I have an alternate hypothesis from my own experience. The person who cuts your hair inflicts it on you. Before the shave, I had to practically beg them to cut off the dome-wrap. MHO.
If you want to see dome-wraps in their native environment go to D.C. sometime. That’s undoubtably the nation’s dome-wrap capital. One stands out (especially on a windy day) more than all others: Martin Frost. His is (was? see below) just unreal.
First look here:
Martin with Dome Wrap
Now look here:
Martin without Dome Wrap
I ask you, which Martin look better?
To the OP,
I’m exactly your demographic. I started receding in high school, by 25 it was either start combing-over or try something different. The option that I wanted was to just grow it all and go for the “music industry executive pony tail”, but I was told by several honest female friends that this is viewed with just as much distaste as the combover.
So I went for the shaved head.
Don’t worry about women, there are plenty out there that dig the look, it was embarrasingly routine for me to have women approaching me and saying they loved it, where I seldom had much luck with my previous hair style (I looked just like Niles Crane on Frasier, now I look like Moby ). It’s just the opposite of what Hair Club would have you believe.
My fiance (that loves the bald look) has also told me that “Yeah, it’s obvious to everyone that you have pattern baldness, but it also sends the message that you are self-confident enough to show the world that your ego isn’t dependent upon your hairline. Chicks dig self-confidence.”
Shave those puppies. I loved the poster that said “Tell them they can’t quit, they’re fired!”
I think that Lightnin’ is impersonating me. The same look, the same city…it all fits. Ha! I’ve figured out your diabolical plan!