However, if she comes back from the store with a batch of bleeding turnips, they do have to be declared on your tax return. The IRS has been trying to get blood from turnips for years. 
Two cans of Goya vienna sausage, a box of blue Jell-o, and a 6-pack of Mike’s Hard Lime, please. Here’s a twenny, that should cover it, and put whatever change you get toward the gas, OK?
Sweet of ya to ask.
You can keep me from dying a long and painful death if you’ll bring me a few cans of cat food. ::looks over shoulder::
3 pounds of snow crab, 1 case of Corona, 3 limes, and an industrial size box of maxi-pads, thank you, sweets! 
A bag of pyrogy’s, a medium tub of sour cream, apples, cinnamon and a few carrots.
Oh and what the hell, a bag of miss vickies original chips.
hands over a 20 That should more than cover it grab yourself something sweet from the bakery. Thanks!
Lessee:
Cat litter
Rum extract
Slice mango pieces
A clove of garlic
No-bake graham cracker piecrust
One pack of white shoelaces (sneaker sized)
A four-pack of Guinness Draft
String cheese
Roll-on deoodrant (‘spring fresh’, if they have it)
A Father’s Day card (a funny one about hogging the remote)
Ripple-style chips
Oh, and would you pick up a couple jars of Alfredo Sauce and deliver them to Athena for me? She’d appreciate it.
Definiely don’t need light bulbs, Rice-A-Roni The San Francisco Treat, or paper towels, though.
Ooooh, if you go after four-o-clock, they have fresh French bread at the bakery - ‘hot or it’s free!’.
And if it’s not a problem, would you swing by the drugstore and pick up my prescription and my photos? You are SUCH a sweetie.
Here’s some extra cash for gas. Danke schoen.
Pot pies and Ramen. Month’s supply, here’s a 20.
twickster and OneYogini are welcome, of course. There isn’t much point to making dill sauce without the dill, but I guess you could just squeeze a fresh lemon over it all and call it good. I am not paying for air fare, though. See you both at 6:30? That’s assuming that TellMeI’mNotCrazy manages to get back from the store by 5 or so.
Towels! Lots and lots of towels…ummm…and a Sawzall! See if you can find a 55 gallon drum, while you’re at it. And lye! I’ve heard that lye will help. Ummm…some kind of cleaner, too…oh yeah, bleach! That’s supposed to destroy evidence pretty nicely.
Don’t you worry…as long as nobody panics, and we keep our mouths shut, everything is gonna be alllllll right…
Yum yum yum – dill is my favorite herb. I’m here at work till 5:30, maybe a little after, but will head over immediately upon my departure – don’t wait for me, I’m not sure how bad traffic will be.
May I bring some truffles for dessert?
[sub]When come back, bring pie…[/sub]
I would not be just a nuffin’
My head all full of stuffin’
My heart all full of pain
I would dance and be merry
Life would be a ding-a-derry
If I only had a brain
Wait! Hold on, I wanno go with! Just lemme get my shoes on…
Potato Flyers, please. Or some Tings if they’re out of Potato Flyers.
And a pomelo.
Here’s a 5-spot.
Thank you!
Let me guess. You’re either making a casserole for a family dinner or a church lady supper.
Bailey’s (they sell it half empty, I promise)
Pound cake carton. (They sell those all-empty. Really)
Dozen Eggs.
Parchment Paper. (Don’t mind the fact that I used some of it to tally the grocery bill.
Two bags (pre-opened, for your convenience!) of chocolate chips.
Bulk trail mix, carefully de-M&Med. Wait, you DID want them in there? Drat.
Fresh loaf of bread.
Raspberry and blackberry jam.
Caffeine-free (with BLASHPEMY label) Coke.
Two dozen eggs.
Small jar (miniscule. microscopic. infintesimally small.) of … MW
Koser pickeles, no garlic.
A Ferrero Rocher. (Small and chocolatey)
Mint. (WTF is a Mojito? Tell me now! It sounds like something I want.)
Copper River King Salmon Fillets (I searched four stores before I found it. Something told me not to come back with “No Frills Salmon chunks”
Chateau St. Jean Merlot 2002
Sweet Yeller Onion
2 bulbs of garlic
Quart of sour cream, a half ounce of fresh dill, 20 fresh asparagus spears and 3 artichokes.
one gallon of sweet tea
One bottle of Chivas Regal
2 6oz filet mignons wrapped in bacon
All they had for checkout books was “Harness the Healing Mystery of Vinegar” so I hope that works.
Turnips. Non-bleeding. Never stopped the IRS before!
Two cans of Goya vienna sausage (I can’t believe I bought these… things)
Blue Jell-o - this color doesn’t even occur in nature!
4-pack of Mike’s Hard Lime, please. What they sell them in 4 packs now.
Snow crab (you people are killing my resolve here)
1 case of Corona,
3 limes
industrial size box of maxi-pads (resolve cured.)
A bag of pyrogy’s
sour cream, apples, cinnamon and a few carrots.
a bag of miss vickies original chips.
Cat litter
Rum extract
Slice mango pieces
A clove of garlic
No-bake graham cracker piecrust
One pack of white shoelaces (sneaker sized)
A four-pack of Guinness Draft
String cheese
Roll-on deoodrant (Powder fresh. I hope that’s ok)
A Father’s Day card (all they had left was “Dad, I know Father’s Day isn’t the best time to tell you this, but…” cards.)
Ripple-style chips
Oh, and I ran into Athena at the store. She said something along the lines of… let me think… “BITE ME” I can’t for the life of me figure out what I did to deserve that.
Pot pies and Ramen
“How to Join the Witness Protection Program” for Hal.
NO PIE
Potato Flyers (whatever the hell THEY are)
And Tings. (Ditto)
And a pomelo. (Double ditto)
Dammit.
Wouldn’t you know it. I forgot the stuff I was there to pick up.
:smack:
Back to the store for me.
Woops. found another bag:
Case of Miller Lite (Long Necks)
Ice Cream (Haagen Dazs Dulce De Leche, 'cause you didn’t specify)
A handful of soggy cardboard… Oh wait, frozen dinners.
Ammonia (Lemon-scented)
Band-aids (They only had Barney designs, I hope that’s ok)
Hair gel (Lemon-scented, to match the ammonia.)
Coffee Filters
Nabs WheatNCheddar crackers
Uh, they were out of Youthful Idealism, so I got some Youthful Naivete, is that alright?
Oh, and when I asked about Childhood innocence, the cashier proceeded to tell me about the incident with her 3 year old, a toothbrush, and the dog. SO, I decided to pass.
So, flank steak
Soy Sauce (they were out of soy sause)
One lightbulb… d’oh!
Flour
Arsenic. Oh. Sorry, Almond Extract.
If cluricaun doesn’t want it, I’ll take it.
munches happily on Nabs
You’re the best!
{{{TellMeI’mNotCrazy}}}
Could you get me about 60 industrial size boxes of tampons? And a few dozen rolls of duct tape? And maybe some baking soda? Thanks!