I’ve lurked around here for a few years, and recently registered. I’ve had a lot of time at home and have been reading straight dope due to a chronic illness. As you may have guessed I’ve heard about the hell known as highschool and I’m looking for any advice.
I don’t know how well I will be with making friends, seeing as how I have had a lack of a social life, most of my life. The only thing I don’t care about is forms of bullying. I’m 6’0" almost 6’1" and weigh around almost 200 lbs. I frequently practice boxing and I’m not exactly afraid of bullies, as I’ve never been bullied.
get involved / clubs, organizations, newspaper, choir, etc…
find good friends that have good intentions and good hearts
learn to “play the game” - be organized, make deadlines, be punctual, show respect for fellow classmates and teachers, sit up front, find a good advisor / mentor
find the right approach… take things seriously but play hard
Be yourself, smile, talk to people. The friends will come if you’re nice to people and have a positive attitude. You’ll meet some jerks, too. Just have an attitude of “eh, screw them” and plow ahead.
It’s not that hard unless you make it hard. Believe me; it’s important to SMILE. Look and act happy. It helps you stay happy, and people like a positive person more than some dour, angsty type.
High school was FAR better than middle school for me, and it got even better when I moved between 10th and 11th grade and nobody knew me and I got to start out fresh. (I was BADLY bullied, though not physically, for all of middle school.)
Don’t get sucked into the cliquishness; high school has an insane number of social rules, most of which will be void as soon as you leave and are in the real world.
I’m one of those people who has always had a few friends, not a whole bunch of them. If you can find a couple of like-minded people you should be just fine. If you WANT a whole bunch of friends I don’t know what to tell you, since I never have.
Don’t be one of those people who builds their entire life around high school. Half of what high schoolers worry about really doesn’t matter. Dodge the cliques.
Definately join clubs/sports that you are interested in. Its always great to hang with people you have a common interest in.
Always remember, whatever you are worried about is probably not that big a deal in the long run. So what if you break wind in the middle of a very quiet history class? In four short years you’ll be in college and only talking to the people you really liked. I’m a junior in college now and I only talk to three people from high school on a regular basis.
And remember, it is four short years. Pay attention in school. Get into the best college you can. Hang out with people. Go crazy, but not too crazy.
I’m going to have to partially disagree with GUINNESS. Yes, date people you are interested in; however, if you want to go ahead and become boyfriend and girlfriend, girlfriend and boyfriend, boyfriend and boyfriend, boyfriend and goat, whatever. Just don’t get too attached. You probably won’t get married. I don’t care how many episodes of “Boy Meets World” you’ve seen, probably not gonna happen. Dating and coupling we be great experiences. So will being alone.
Welcome aboard(s), Ryle Dup. Allow me to compliment you on your screen name.
As to advice:
Don’t try too hard to fit in. It’s not worth sacrificing your own integrity.
Be yourself and others will learn to like you.
Do unto others … yadda yaddita
NEVER, NEVER put up with bullying of any sort. It will only invite more. Report those who attempt such horsehockey.
Think of joining one or two after-school clubs whose activities interest you. It’s a fine way of meeting people with similar tastes.
Always be willing to talk to and show some sort of interest in any girl. Do so, even if you are not attracted to her. The ones you do want to date will notice your decency and want to date you.
Keep your grades up. They will affect your college admission and that will affect the rest of your life.
I know this is four more years into the future, but if you’re interested in going to college, I strongly second the advice of joining clubs. You don’t have to be involved in every activity known to humankind, but being in one or two that sincerely interest you and having a leadership position (president, vice president or even a committee head) is very helpful in the college process.
In addition, I recommend finding a mentor. Either a teacher or advisor who knows your strengths, your weaknesses, your interests…this person can become an invaluable resource for you.
Cliques aren’t every thing. Make friends with people who interest you.
Don’t let the drama of every single thing get to you. It’s just not worth it (from the perspective of someone ten years down the line).
Lean to manage/organize your time; this is a useful skill that will serve you thoughout life.
Every high school’s different; at my high school you really have to deal with some snotty comments if you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend all the time. People date and such but if you only date, and never actually get a boy/girlfriend, people start to ask questions. Like I said, most high schools are different.
Join a bunch of clubs, like others have said. Just don’t take them too seriously that they become the be-all and end-all of high school…because I know people who do that, and they end up less than satisfied. Also, check out clubs that seem to have dorky names–I know the Science Club turned out to be a lot more fun than it would seem this past year for me.
Get to know your counselor right away, in 9th or maybe 10th grade. If you have a question, go in and ask. If the secretary’s rude, ignore her. All the counseling secretaries at my school are horrible, but the counselors themselves are great. Just get to know the counselor and ask him/her any questions you have. It will be a lot better going in to talk to him/her about scholarships in 12th grade if you already know him/her.
And if you don’t have a clique, but rather a group of scattered friends, don’t worry 'bout it. I’m not a part of any one clique, and my friends come from all the steps of the social ladder. It doesn’t matter to me if one friend knows another one or not.
Oh yeah, and about the girlfriend thing, don’t worry if you don’t find one right away. I just got a boyfriend last year (my junior year ended May 22).
Oops–about the secretary, I don’t mean ignore her as in “walk right past her and into the counselor’s office.” I mean, deal with her rudeness professionally, and don’t give it a lot of thought.
Marks are everything, write that down some where and read it often. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Don’t be scared of science math, learn it now so you aren’t trapped later on. I worked at a math help centre during my undergrad. My entire job was to help 3rd and 4th year university students with math because they decided in high school that they didn’t need it. Learn it now or it will come back to haunt you.
Learn to type fast.
Learn how to write effectively, it will make you a god in the scientific community.
–Get to know your teachers. They can and will help you succeed, not only in high school, but can also help you get into the college you want. This does not mean be a brown noser, but do try to make connections with the ones you like.
–Do get involved in at least a couple of clubs or sports teams. You’ll make friends, it will help you get into college, and will make the whole high school experience more enjoyable.
–Work up to your potential. A lot of really bright kids slack off in high school only to regret it later. Take the AP and enriched classes if you can hack them. Take college level courses if they’re offered.
–This is a tough one, but mainta your perspective. It’s incredibly hard, I realize, not to get caught up in all the drama you’ll encounter in HS. I know I did and shed a lot of tears over things that I can only chuckle ruefully about now. Remember: you will survive this.
–This is going to sound really corny, but try to be nice to your parents. They still think of you as their baby, which I know is annoying, but they’re going through a transition too, and it’s probably scarier for them than it is for you. Try to see where they’re coming from so you don’t wind up having an adversarily relationship with them, as so many teenagers do.
Amen! High school is not hell! Life in high school can be hell, but so can life at any other time. I’m graduating from high school this Saturday, so I’ve spent the last few weeks mulling over these past four crazy years…
I’ve always found that cliques were much worse in a middle-school setting, not in a high-school setting. There are still plenty of cliques and groups, but people have grown up a lot.
Do try and get involved. Not knowing what your high school is like, it’s hard to say, but nowadays most schools offer a wide variety of courses and extracurricular activities. Being involved with the debate team, newspaper and Beta Club is how I met some of the people who are now my best friends.*
Try hard. Work hard. Study hard. Give it everything you’ve got but don’t let the stress or the workload kill you. Time management skills are crucial. Rubystreak’s advice about parents is wonderful.
*Three of my closest male friends spent most of their middle school years at home, due to chronic illnesses. They all had a decidedly lacking social life until they hit the end of middle school/beginning of high school.
When does school start for you? If you ever want to rant or ask a question that you aren’t comfortable with posting on the boards, feel free to email me. My email’s in my profile.
If you don’t want to date, fine. I don’t know why high school = dating/hooking up to so many people. No matter what people say, you aren’t going to be a loser just because you don’t have someone hanging off of your arm all the time. Granted I’m a weirdo, but I didn’t go dating when I was in high school and it never bothered me (it just annoyed me that that was all everyone ever talked about).
If you aren’t the Loverboy type, don’t let anyone give you shit over it. Sometimes the energy that is wasted over scoring hard-to-get booty can be used for more productive activities, like practicing your acceptance speech for when you accept the Nobel Prize.
If you can, get a job during your last couple of years. Or volunteer somewhere if you can’t work. Working (especially when you don’t have to) develops character and shows you have balls. I knew a guy in college who had never worked before and you could kinda tell.
You will be tired your first day. I remember I was so exhausted that I didn’t know what I was going to do. During your first year you will be a newbie. We called freshman “scrubs” at my high school, and when we weren’t being teased, we were ignored. Just suck it up and deal. The first year will go by fast and before you know it, you will be a giant redwood sequoia (instead of a scrub, get it?)
Like people have said, get involved…it can be tough, but you will find people who you will get along with if you just join any extracurriculars that interest you. If you do the things you like, you will find other people who think like you do, and you can make a great connection.
Above all, be yourself. Don’t let the cliques that can form in high school tell you who to be or what to do…do things for yourself, and by your standards, and by the end of it all, you’ll be with people who care about you, and you’ll be better off for the road after high school.
