Several years ago I discovered Swedish Death Cleaning (SDC). Which in simple terms is to begin to divest yourself of as many possessions as possible so that your kids don’t have to wade through decades of stuff in your death.
Recently people like Marie Kondo are making the news (and money) talking about a minimalist lifestyle (ML). This is where you really avoid accumulating possessions, rather seek to invest in experiences and living.
I had some renovations lately and have not brought back everything nor hung pictures back on the wall. I get the point of both ML but can’t imagine going to just three pairs of shoes to cover every occasion. I also understand that to have experiences you need some stuff, especially if you want to redo those experiences again (along, diving etc). SDC is closer to my own beliefs and what I can in all probability practice with more success.
I am wondering if anyone has been living a ML or been practicing SDC, and what advice can you offer to someone who wants to adopt some but not all aspects.
If there is already a thread on this subject, please direct me there.
You might look at **The De-Clutter and Clean Up Support Thread **
Swedish Death Cleaning sounds like a poor idea: what you should buy, keep, get rid of should optimize your life–not that of your heirs. If they want to spend lots of time obsessing over which of your stuff might be valuable that is up to them. Otherwise they can easily donate it/hire someone to take it to the garbage (so just leave them a few thousand dollars or some property so they won’t be out of pocket).
Minimalism can get expensive. For example lots of us have tools, building supplies, hardware so we can repair stuff cheaply–while the minimalist might either buy new or hire it done. And you can have a very minimal kitchen if you usually eat out for meals.
I think it’s fine to hold onto tools and other items that have a utilitarian value.
What I can’t stand is how my wife and her fucking parents live. It’s like they refuse to throw anything away. 20 year old books from grad school. Old magazines she plans to “go through”. Shit cluttering up the counters. Drives me crazy.
I always admired my grandfather who could fix or build just about anything from what he had in his workshop. So yes, that part of the concept rubbed me the wrong way. I prefer to do my own repairs, painting etc than hire which seems to be the other option for a minimalist.
I’m actively paring down. The number one item on my “When I Retire” list has been “Clean Out Workshop”… and now I’m retiring next summer.
I’ve decided I’ll keep small things that’d help me fix stuff (nails, screws, tools), and even downsize tools (bought a Dremel that’ll replace a couple of huge old behemoth drills). But I SWEAR I’ll ditch the big stuff. Which might include a toaster from 1997 that I really could fix, honest, if I had a spare weekend…
ETA: People are fighting over who gets my large window-y office when I go. I’m SO tempted to say “Whoever’s willing to let me walk away and then they toss everything in the office… they get it!”
This is the thing. What makes someone else happy is not the same thing that makes me happy. I have no interest in spending a bunch of dough on “experiences and living” which probably means travel, restaurants, etc.
Give me a new piece of computer hardware to play with and I’m good. Sure, it’s a thing but it makes me happy and that’s what matters.
Ditto the “Throw out anything that doesn’t give you joy.” maxim. I have a ton of stuff I don’t like at all but I have to have. E.g., I have a suit. I hate it. But when there’s a funeral it comes out. My blender doesn’t give me joy, but it gets used. None of my shoes “give me joy”. I’m supposed to go barefoot? And on and on.
These “experts” are just people with a very limited view of things that don’t really understand how life really works.
Just move mom/dad into assisted living for a few years before the end. They’ll need to pare down to just the really important mementos and not leave it to the heirs to deal with. My MiL went from a 1400 sqft house to a 200sqft room in two moves over three years.
A house fire is a wonderful way to clear out unneeded items … it is sort of amazing how little I miss much of the crap we had. I do however miss my melted computer, it had music and books that it is difficult to replace, and some hard copy books that it is difficult to replace [reference books like Queen Elizabeth’s Wardrobe Unlocked and Tilke on oriental costume with all the plates intact] and costuming and costuming materials that are expensive to replace [anybody want to give me a pound of pearls so I can restart and finish my copy of the Armada Gown? Oh, and a couple thousand dollars worth of assorted silk fabrics?]
I have 2 pair of boots [black and coyote] a pair of beach shoes, a pair of sneakers and a pair of loafers. I think every bit of clothing I own would probably fit in 2 sea bags and I keep a packed molle pack as a go bag with duplicates of all my regular toiletries. I would have to grab a backpack for my laptop, tablet and chargers, and a backpack for all my medications.
As someone who has had to clean out their parents house after their death, let me say that quantity is not the problem. One or two trips to the dump more or less would not have really made a bit of difference in the long run.
If you want to help your kids out, make sure they know what things are. Label things, or at least write down what things are so that they can separate things worth keeping as opposed to things to dispose of.
For example my dad had 2 double bit axes. One he’d bought several years ago, and the other was his grandfathers. The problem was that the old one had a new handle. We couldn’t tell which was which.
Alot depends also if you have hobbies. My wife for example is an artist and into crafts so we have lots of that stuff. I’m into woodworking so thats alot. I’ve also had some other hobbies like rock polishing.
Now compare that to my inlaws who do athletics and little else and their house seems mostly bare.
And then there are we collectors, who look at the OP and their ilk warily as though they were likely to break into our houses and abscond with our precious possessions.
I’m making major changes in the way I live my life, just because I don’t want to be a fat hoarder (or even an overweight messy person).
One is that I used to do huge collages/assemblages for magazine covers. This was an engraved invitation to haul home any old junk because “Man, this’ll be perfect for… ummm… something I’ll make in a year. Or two.” So I decided to make tinier art, and use ink and paint. Which doesn’t entail Piles O’ Crap.
ETA: And in terms of collecting, I’m trying to transition to collecting PHOTOS of things, instead of the things themselves… the Digital Photos thread is helping.
We filled two large dumpsters with belongings last year, said clean-up triggered by mold remediation. 5 generations worth of possessions got extremely thinned out, at long last.
And no, we’re not hoarders. Our home has a huuuuuuuge amount of storage space. We can now use one such area as our own echo chamber.
a dangerous hurricane (in my case Katrina) is a big help in clearing out unneeded stuff. Just learn to play it safe and NOT keep your desktop computer on the floor. Though I have a friend who piled all his computers on the kitchen counter. Unfortunately the water came several inches over the counter. But you can’t plan for every eventuality.
One thing to realize is that a lot of the minimalism movement is driven by economic trends that are largely true, but not true everywhere and for all things:
Stuff is getting cheaper.
Living space is getting more expensive.
The result is that many people are spending more and more money to store things that are less and less expensive.
Minimalism isn’t about getting rid of useful things, or of forcing a more expensive lifestyle. It’s about realizing that having stuff has a cost, and you should only keep the stuff that you actually want/need/use.
Minimalism means different things to different people. The definition you give is what lots of us would talk about with respect to decluttering.
But if you look at the lifestyle type magazines minimalism is more about aesthetics rather than economic factors (the cost of storage vs the cost of goods).
I’m in this thread because I recently had an epiphany.
I went to a conference in San Francisco, and only took a small backpack… like middle-schooler-sized. A couple of shirts, an extra pair of pants… undies, socks and books.
My flight home was cancelled (they didn’t text me til I was walking to the BART at 5 am), and they invited me to reschedule on my phone, so I did… for a week later. Visited my son, then my daughter flew in so she didn’t miss the fun, then I stopped and saw my sister.
All with minimal belongings. I love to buy a t-shirt from cool places I visit, but I had to leave one behind if I did that (once I traded shirts with a fortunately-not-sweaty guy on the street!).
Finish a book? Give it away before you get another. Or buy a magazine or a comic, then toss it.
Haul around a big sketchbook and paints? Nope, draw in small pocket notebooks.
So the epiphany? I was having a very full life with less than a cubic foot of possessions*. I didn’t miss anything** that was filling up my closet and basement.
So if I can be happy with so little, why am I putting up with all my boxes of stuff? Because I just don’t have time to sort through them. And I suck at throwing things away. So I wish I could hire someone (my kids?) to toss all my stuff. Maybe I’d fill one box with Stuff I’ll Actually Use and they could go all ruthless on sixty years of my life and fill a dumpster.
While I go on a trip with my middle-schooler backpack…
*Well, of course I measured before I posted this… (1500 cu in = 25 litres = .85 cu ft)
**Okay, there was one exception. I really wanted to give the daughter my copy of Dandelion Wine, but we ducked into a used book shop and got her one.
Travel is a great way to realize how little you need.
My wife and I traveled with backs for several months after we got married. When we returned home we lived in a friend’s guest room for another month while we looked for a place to live, so the only thing we took out of our storage unit was our bicycles and some more clothes.
Obviously, some of the things we left in storage we didn’t need because we were living in someone else’s house, like our couch and dishes. But a lot of stuff we just didn’t need at all. We got rid of a bunch of it when it came out.
I agree that minimalism means different things to different people, but remember that lifestyle magazines are trying to sell you something.
And aesthetics and trends are influenced by economics.
Books are a great example. Hundreds of years ago, a massive personal library was a sign of great wealth. These days, (most) books are clutter. You get them as gifts, or because you intend to read them, or because you did read them. And they accumulate. Some people still get great personal pleasure from having a personal library, but for most of us it’s wasted space. Realistically I doubt I’ll re-read more than a handful of the books I own. But I’m paying for space to keep them and shelves to hold them and more keep coming (because I love to read).
So now I keep only the books that I have a personal sentimental attachment to or the ones that make for good conversation when visitors see them on the shelf. The rest, the ones I’m not reading right now but maybe I’ll (re)read someday in the future: they get donated from the library.
