Going to movies, dinner stag.

Last night I went to see a movie, Chicago, alone. I tried to get ahold of some folks to go with me, but they were either not home or unable to go. For some reason, a few folks have expressed shock that I’d go out to a movie by myself. The discussion expanded to include their abhorance of going out to eat alone.

It seems a mark of shame to them to go stag to some things. To me, it just seems normal that if you want to do something and nobody’s available to go with, you go by yourself.

So I thought I bring it to the Dopers.

Is it a big “L” Loser who eats or catches a movie alone or is it sign of self-confidence?

I go to movies alone all the time - I don’t consider it a social event.

Dining, on the other hand, I do consider a social event, so I prefer to do it with others. The only time I eat out alone is if I’m on business travel. I also did it a fair amount when I was out of my home for several months due to a fire. IME, it seems a lot more socially acceptable to dine alone in large urban areas than it does in suburban areas - I can’t comment on rural areas.

If I see someone dining alone, I don’t think much of anything. I think the “loser” mentality is a hold-over from high school where sitting alone in the cafeteria was the worst thing in the world.

It’s not the big “L”, since we have to reserve something for the Unemployed who live with their parents. :smiley:

I’ve had many discussions on going out to eat, usually concluding that if you just want to eat, cooking at home is preferable, while eating out alone is a sign of lack of friends and lazyness, since you’re paying for expensive food and atmosphere yet you’re not enjoying the company as you have none. Dragging my friends who are waitresses and hosts into the rhubarb underscores the unanimity of the food service industry: individual eaters are small “l” losers – though that may be reflective of the wasted seat(s) at the table and the poor tip. These – I hesitate to call them facts – tidbits, fit with the relative social approval of single eaters at the bar of a greasy spoon!

As for seeing movies alone, I know several people who do this, and if not proud, will exclaim with exasperation when asked “I saw it alone, ok! I couldn’t get anyone else to go see (Hours
| Freda | Requiem for a Dream)!” I’d knock it down several notches from the loser category, into the “sort of” sphere. Why the difference compared to eating out? First, you can’t exactly talk in a movie, so the social company you see it with, AFAICT, solely exists for the comaprison of experience during the after-movie dinner. Hmm. Secondly, most people can agree on a kind of food – many will even try something entirely new in the gustatory realm, but movies are a two-hour forced experience. You can’t try one kind of scene, decide you don’t like it, and sample the dialogue – all the reels or none! Your friends already have an idea of what most movies are about, thanks to our saturation advertising, and so many movies you may be unable to roust a contingent. Would this be a sad thing if you went to a movie anyway? I’d say you’d be making a bold statement of support for the unsung genre, and many folks agree.

On the third hand, if you went to some movie with buzz, like Two Towers, alone, you may in fact be friendless – but it’s not like people see you, nor do you inconvenence anybody, so what’s the big deal, anyway?

There was a similar thread a while ago. Many posters said they would go to movies or dinners solo. I think it depends on one’s comfort level. I don’t recall going to a movie theater alone, but I have dined, traveled, snorkeled, and other activities alone. I wouldn’t care what others think. It’s my life. I just thought of the Bon Jovi song… :slight_smile:

See this thread from last month in this same forum.


There are tens of thousands of us who have to travel as part of doing their jobs. Let me tell you, network TV and room service get old really fast, but there are still many people who live that way.

I could never deprive myself of the pleasures of a good film and/or meal for the off chance that someone might snicker at me. Live your life, man.

I’m with porcupine. I go to the movies along quite often and have for years. I don’t really know anybody around where I live now and even when I was at home I wasn’t going to sit around being bored just because everyone else was busy.

Dinner, however, is rather different, since when you’re at a movie you are expected to be quiet anyway.

When I go out to eat I like to have someone to talk to - the more the merrier, in fact. Thus, I spend a lot of time eating at home with the dog.

Well, it saves money, anyways. :slight_smile: