When I get off my current gig, there will probably be several weeks of down time. I intend to take advantage of this and instead of just visiting with my mother, I am planning on recording her stories on video. More for the talk than the image, understand.
She has had such a remarkable life, from the 1920s to present, and remembers so much of my grandmother’s life, who was born in 1880-something, that I just want to get all of this down. We’ve talked about it, and she is absolutely down with doing it.
So what I am asking for is do you have any suggestions beyond the obvious–tell me about your schools, how you got to Florida from Geneva, Alabama, how you met my dad, all about my grandmother, etc. ??
Any tricks/techniques to refresh the memories, make it more personal, whatever? I want this to be a living testimony of her life…I know I am gonna have to buy a LOT of mini-DVDs, but would really like the images in addition to just the sound of her words.
I suggest not doing any editing. Don’t stop. Don’t do retakes. Whenever you need to insert yourself into her narrative, do so and don’t worry about the interruption of “flow.” That sort of thing can be dealt with later if you want to “slick it up” before others get to see/hear it.
Have maps, photos, any papers she may need to refresh her memory, all handy and within easy reach. If it’s possible without major camera work to include those photos, do so. But again, that can be edited in later if you want it to look more professional.
Visualize Ken Burns’s techniques. Also Biography interviews. These things are edited down from miles of film or videotape. No telling how much "raw material’ remains on the cutting room floor. That can all come later.
The main thing is to keep her comfortable and in the mood to let her memories surface.
Thanks! I will take all of your suggestions to heart…just didn’t want to waste bandwidth repeating the whole post.
What do you think of making a list of “leading questions?” I’m thinking of not trying to do this chronologically, but just letting her tell the stories as they come up. I am not trying for a “classic” or anything like that, not even concerned with editing or anything.
Thank you. Truly. I so wish I’d at least gotten my Father-In-Law’s stories on cassette before he got Alzheimer’s. More lost stuff, I don not wish to lose another opportunity.
The list of questions is smart. Also, anything you remember that she’s already told you before: make notes so she includes the key points you remember. If you have the tape/film for it, do your “rehearsals” in recorded form. That way, after you’ve had a longish session you can play it back for her so she can think of things she might have missed in that first pass. Don’t “replace” that segment but just record another version of it to pick up the new stuff.
Keeping a log of when things are recorded and on which reels will help you sort it all together afterwards – whenever that comes to be. The main thing is to get as much recorded as you can, and to let her review as much as she’s up to.
Don’t concern yourself here with worrying about including all your notions in your replies. You can reread this thread as much as you like! It’ll make good practice.
Have her write her story too, if she can. My Grandmother’s stories of Hawaii in the 1920’s to 1940’s are remarkable. I hear her voice whenever I read them as opposed to what I myself wrote them. My father’s mother wrote things she would probably never vocalize, unlike my mother’s mother, who never wrote much but would tell you small confidences in private that she knew I would share.
Ask her about WWII. Sateside women have facinating. My mom has really cool stories of the day it was over: a woman was pounding on a pot with a wodden spoon yelling “my boy is coming home!” at the top of her lungs. Also Grandma had censored letters, but she’s gone now.
Cars, plastic, drugs. Damn. I wish grandma was still around. She told us of going to the pump for water, but I can only hear it in my head now.
In addition to maps and photos, if there are any “things” - a handkerchief, a ring, a plate, etc. that might set off memories - bring them in! Having something to handle - something to do with her hands - might make her less self-conscious.
One of the things I have learned about such endeavors is that one’s own memory can be very tricky! Whenever my only sibling and I get together alone (he lives 1000 miles away so it’s fairly seldom) we soon start to catch ourselves up on the earlier years when we were closer together (in both senses.) Invariably the memory he has of something will conflict with my memory of it and we’ll have to rely on things we can agree on to resolve those conflicts.
It’s odd how really irrelevant things will wind up solving those dilemmas. Things like what car one of us had, what shirt, what hobby, which girl friend, which house or apartment. That sort of thing.
As other relatives die off or get way out of the picture, it gets to be still harder to “prove to oneself” that things really happened in what order. By attrition I have become the elder member of my family (not counting a still living uncle) and I dread the task of giving accurate accounts of old times. But the flip side of that problem is that there’s nobody to “correct” me. So I can lie all I want to – to my advantage if needed.
That’s something to try to reduce or eliminate as you collect your mother’s memories.
Yes, this is exactly what I was coming in to say. For my Dad’s B-day I decided to do a storycorps interview with him. Unfortunately we’ve had to postpone it till March so I can’t speak of my experience yet, but StoryCorps is an organization which has the goal of making us a nation of oral historians. They provide a moderator, you go into the booth, conduct a 40 minute interview which is recorded and archived in the library of Congress. (not video though, just audio).
They are NYC based but have a couple of travelling booths though not sure if they’re coming anywhere near you.
Still, their website provides a lot of info on how to conduct your own interview, plus a handy questions generator
I realized after my father’s death that I knew practically nothing of his childhood and strangely, we both enjoyed history. There were occasional snippets of info but I lost a glorious chance to capture any of it. My mother, knowing this, even told my that the time for asking her any questions had arrived after she was diagnosed with cancer. Lost that chance too although I’d had many talks with her over the years. I learned more from her about my father then he ever told me.
I visited my 90 year old uncle a year ago and took him out to lunch. I was totally blown away by a story from his life that took 2 hours to play out. He (a non-pilot) ended up flying right seat on a converted post war bomber that was ferried to South America. As a licensed pilot I sat there like a little kid with my mouth hanging open. It was literally a story worthy of movie rights. And he told it like it was a fishing trip. God I wish I had a tape recorder.
But to the question. I do a lot of historical research and I like to present it in 3 forms: a solid time line, human interest, and connectability (relateability). I’d sit down and just start listing questions.
Since life is often thought of as a series of plateaus I would start with a series of “firsts”. These should spark the most vivid memories because they stand out in ones life.
-what was your first day of kindergarten like (starting when you woke up).
-describe the first time you rode a 2 wheeled bike unaided
-who was your first love, first kiss.
-who was your first best friend.
-what was your first dance like.
-who was your oldest friend.
-your first family vacation.
Human interest questions are often easiest if compared to today:
-what was winter like, how did you heat the house? Was the toilet indoors?
-how did you wash/dry clothes in the cold?
-what did you do for entertainment?
Good luck
Likewise. I never made the opportunity to do this with my dad. [sigh. opportunity lost forever.]
Howver, our family had the matriarch of our family, my grandmother, record her memories on cassette. We gave her the machine and the mic, taught her how to use it, and just let her ramble on her own. No witnesses. No distractions.
She was reluctant at first. You can hear the hesitation in her voice. When she finially got comfortable with the idea of talking to the machine, the memories just started to flow. We ended up with 26 hours of memories. Near the end of the process, you can hear in the tapes that she knew she was dying. She died 18 days after finishing her last tape, on which she said goodbye to her progeny. (Still rips my guts out when I listen to that farewell …)
I edited it down to a managable 2 hour tape and made copies for all of the family that wanted it.
Those casettes are the most cherished and valuable family resource that we could ever have.
