Golden Apple 'Restaurant' Award Winners - I Guess Most Other Eateries Are Filthy

The Department of Health in NYC has just awarded its first 9 Golden Apple Awards. Under the stupid headline; Golden Apple excellence shines:

[quote]
The city Health Department, which years ago distributed a dirty restaurant list that was published weekly, is now putting the spotlight on clean establishments…for maintaining “excellent food safety practices.”…“It has rigorous criteria, so that we can say that the food being served in these restaurants is at least as clean as the food in your home,”…Recipients of the first awards were:[ol][li]Dunkin’ Donuts, Flushing[]Winchesters Pub, Bellrose[]Carifesta Restaurant, Bronx[]Blimpie, Bronx[]Churrascaria Plataforma[][]Juice Generation[]McDonald’s, 26 Bowery and[]Executive Conference Center[/ol][/li][/quote]
I think the workers down @ the department of health have a little too much time on their hands. For starters, whose home kitchen cleanliness standard are they using…God, I hope it’s not mine. There are enough places to eat within the confines of NYC where you could have breakfast, lunch and dinner at a different place every day for well over a year. These first nine eateries are the cream of the crop?

Dunkin Dounts? Real Healthy! Where the food service employees have never let a stray poppy seed from one of their shitty tasting bricks disguised as a bagel fall onto a Bavarian Cream donut.

McDonalds? Is it even food? How in the hell can food that’s taken from freezer, to fryer to microwave in 45 seconds flat even get the chance to become contaminated.

Winchesters Pub? Lord knows I have no bias toward pubs, but come on now. Is this the best they could come up with? Sure, you may be standing in a puddle of the piss from the drunk who missed the urinal the moment before you stepped into the men’s room…but hey, the food’s clean!

Blimpies? More crap. I bet there are tons on envious Subway franchisees walking the earth today.

I can’t wait to see the next nominees. I hope Jimmy’s dirty water hot dog cart on West 39th St and the White Castle on East Tremont make the cut.

And if I hear Hallo Berlin gets a Golden Apple - after I personally counted well over 50 rats scurry past my feet while eating on their sidewalk patio this past October - I’m gonna yell, “Fix” from atop the highest building.