Gonna write gonna write gonna write

The BBQ Pit
1

aka WRITER’S BLOCK
Finally, after many months, I’ve received another bite from a literary agent, requesting the first fifty pages of the new novel I’m working on.

Done. Done and done. It’s right here. I’m gonna finish that RIGHT now, pop that in the mail and wait for the accolades…I mean, it’s almost done. I have 200 pages done…but they aren’t FINISHED. They must be polished. Well, not really polish all 200 TODAY, just the first fifty. In the bag, jack. Consider the mission accomplished.

I mean, how hard can it be? I’ve got a 12 pack of Diet Coke, nothing at all to do until Wednesday night, my husband out of the house, central air, a nice lamp, a radio…

I’m gonna do that. It’s gonna be great. Gonna finish those first three chapters right up.

First, gonna check live journal, gonna scan the boards, then I’m gonna make more coffee and have some peanuts.

OK. NOW. NOW I’M GOING TO FINISH THIS FUCKING CHAPTER. AND MAN IT’S GOING TO BLOW OTHER BOOKS OUT OF THE WATER. I’M GOING SCORCHED FUCKING EARTH ON THIS BOOK, MOTHER FUCKER.

But what about a nap? And a bubble bath? And petting the dog for ten minutes? And another nap? Damn girl, your eyebrows need plucking. And maybe I should re-pot that “trail of tears” cactus I bought, and water the other plants, and sweep.

WHEN ALL OF THAT IS DONE, watch out, Sally. Because I’m about to get six kinds of nasty on Microsoft Word. I’m going to use the word TRANQUILITY and NOTWITHSTANDING, and like Barry Manilow, YOUNG GIRLS ARE GOING TO FUCKING CRY THEIR PANTS OFF.

5:00. Time for a break. Time to create a witty pit thread…time to find a new music selection, and husband will be home soon, so I’d better put this writing on pause…

yeah…

but later…

watch out.
:rolleyes:

2

Ummm…

You are writing.

Granted, you’re not working on your future prize-winning novel, but you’re doing what you want.

Go back to the “work” when you are ready. Genius knows no timetable.

What? Did you expect someone to slap your hand and MAKE you write? Not my style, but I’m sure someone will come along and do it.

:smiley:

3

I’m sure you’ll finish everything later tonight. :smiley:

4

What’s worse: A blank piece of paper in a typewriter or a blank screen on a monitor?

I’ve typed out my notes for a story I’m really interested in, had already started composing pieces of it in my head during a long drive back home, have all my materials in front of me…

And I have no motivation to write.

Doesn’t help that my deadline is days away.

Can’t wait for the self-loathing to kick in.

5

Pah. You people are amateurs. My deadline is tomorrow, around 4 pm, which is the latest I can hop in the van and drive this puppy to the UPS drop. I’ve got 130 sloppily written pages left to edit, including a very messy reference list and a glossary that may or may not have all words accounted for in the text, plus at least one more full pass through the entire 500 pages to catch a zillion little issues that have come up because this author can’t form a logical progression of ideas to save her life. (It’s an education textbook, too. Gives me great hope for the future.)

So how have I spent my afternoon? Snacking. Taking a little Snood break. Well, maybe just one more game. (Damn you, FisherQueen! This game is more addictive than crack.) I even took a little nap, supposed to be 15 minutes but went for 45. And surfing the damned, damned boards.

See you all at 2 am, when I’ll be sitting right here propping my eyelids open with toothpicks and cursing my lazy procrastinating self.

Scarlett"If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would get done"67

6

Let’s all get together in a chat room at 2:00 am and see how crazy we’ve truly gone. I suspect I’ll be laughing/crying and rocking back and forth.

7

jarbabyj, I feel for you because I think I know what you’re going through. I don’t know if this will be helpful, but if you’re anything like me, it’s important to tell yourself that, no, it probably isn’t “GOING TO BLOW OTHER BOOKS OUT OF THE WATER.” It may not even be great; it’ll just be very good. And considering the drek most agents have to wade through, “very good” will be very good indeed.

Read some Danielle Steel. There, that should make you more confident :slight_smile:

8

Jar, I didn’t know you were working on a novel. The other day I was reading your LiveJournal (don’t be scared, I’m not stalking you, really) and thought to myself, “Damn, that girl is a WRITER!” I almost sent you an email to let you know you should pursue writing seriously. But I’m glad to see you already have the situation in hand. Good luck on this current deadline!

9

jarbaby: According to MS Word, there are 319 words in your post. If your average post is only a quarter of that length, with 6031 posts, you’ve written over 480,000 words on the SDMB.

I’m not trying to make you feel bad, just offering perspective — because I totally understand the procrastination thing. Sometime in the last few days, I glanced in the margin of one of my posts and realized I went over 4000 a while back and didn’t notice. I wonder how many words I’m up to.

So a couple of weeks ago, I decided to quit messing around and just work. I’ve got a project I’ve been mulling for the last, oh, three and a half years. It’s a great idea. I know exactly what I want to do with it. I just hadn’t gotten around to it.

But when I finally decided to stop thinking and just freakin’ do it, I wrote the first three-quarters of it in nine days. Came flowin’ out of me like some unspeakable bodily fluid in a story you definitely don’t want to hear the rest of.

Because, like you, I love writing. But I hate working. Writing on the SDMB is fun. Writing this thing that will have a life after I type “the end” feels like work. I’d rather have fun than work. Character flaw? Sure. Easy to overcome? Not really.

I’m currently at a stopping point, because I’m getting feedback from other people to make sure I’m on the right track. But now that I know how easy it really was, I’m antsy to finish up. I resent the time I’m waiting for others to read my material, and I just want to get back to writing. I’m very, very excited. I think this thing is golden. The difference between now and, say, six months ago is remarkable.

And here’s the difference: I’m not intimidated. Like I said, I believe the idea I’m working with is very strong. I knew that if I pulled it off, it would be very special. But first I had to pull it off. If I tried writing it, and it turns out I’m not good enough to make it work, I would have failed. That’s hard to face. So it was easier to not write and be neither a success nor a failure than it was to actually write it and risk crashing and burning. Eventually, though, I decided that was bullshit, and I wrote it anyway despite the risk: and it’s damn good.

You wanna read it? My wife and I will be in Chicago in two weeks. Maybe my success at overcoming my block will inspire you to do what you know needs to be done.

10

Neato. I hope to get together with you in Chicago. Maybe I can throw a few words your way as well! Thanks for the kind words masonite, and everyone!

Cervaise hit it on the head though. I’ve just got to stop fooling around and do it. Part of the curse of my imagination is that very often my mind just starts wandering to easier, more fun, more bizarre things, and my work is abandoned.

Urrrgh. In all honesty, I’m probably about 80% done with the first 50 pages now, and about 75% with the total book. I’m at that scary stage where you read through everything and say “wait, does this whole thing suck?”

Just got to get past that.

11

You know what you should do? Pack up the car with Mr jar and Marge, come on up to Mpls, and let Marge out to play with Spanky/Zap/Valen while we humans grill a while and shoot the shit over some beers.

Honest.

12

Right, that was me. I’m gonna get the hang of this whole “getting married to a Doper” thing, I swear.

13

sigh
I wish I had a deadline for something.

I’m writing at a ridiculous rate. Really, between all my stories, I average 10,000 words a day. TOo bad it’s all fanfic for a handful of faithful minions.

Good luck.

14

What’s the book about, jar? And how did the agent get wind of it? Congratulations are in order for that.

15

Gaaaah! If you find a cure, let me know. Stupid childrens’ play isn’t writing itself like it’s supposed to!

16

Don’t forget to keep us updated on your descent into madness! :smiley:

17

I’ve been sending out query letters and proposals for this book for about a month now. 10 rejection letters and this is the first request for further materials.

I’m sort of superstitious about revealing ‘what’s it about’ because, well, I don’t know why. All I’ll say is it’s a mainstream novel (read: not erotica :wink: ) set in the Adirondack mountains, dealing with forgiveness, repentance, second chances and the mandatory reporting of sexual offenders in New York State. :slight_smile:

18

Well, at least reveal the name when it comes out so we can go buy it and make you rich.

19

Sounds eminently readable. Good luck and congrats again on the agent interest. That big time good news.

20

Hey, jar, do what I do. Pack up a laptop and go to Starbucks.

No internet connection. No baskets of laundry you haven’t touched for days that suddenly have to be washed and folded RIGHT NOW. Works like a charm. I did NaNo that way. Schedule a time, and just go, like you have to go to work.

Of course, I also try to write at night, too, and I’m supposed to be working on the thing right now…damn internet!