So two friends of mine and Agent Foxtrot recently found out they’re going to be parents. Not only that, but they’re having TWINS. Everyone’s really happy for 'em, they’re happy, happiness all around. They’re throwing a baby shower in April, and I’d like some suggestions for good presents for parents of twins (dunno if it’s boy/boy, girl/girl, or boy/girl right now, the fetuses are the size of peas). Or a gift for the expectant mother, since as my own mother puts it, “Everyone buys stuff for the baby, when it’s mama who has the aching poo.”
I went to a baby shower today actually, and the best gift I saw was the aunt who gave her a certificate for two housecleanings from her maid, someone they knew and trusted. For new parents, esp. twins, this seems choice. Heck, I’d like that.
They’ll probably register. It might seem tacky, but it isn’t, it’s dead useful. I found the Babies R Us place absolutely overwhelming and if it hadn’t been for a registry I would have just run screaming out the door.
When my cousin threw a baby shower a couple of years ago, we simply stuffed a red packet with some fresh, crisp banknotes for them.
When in doubt, give cash.
(Am not sure if this is considered socially acceptable where you are, though.)
So there are three people sharing the babies?
Father of twins checking in. I’d recommend that if you get baby stuff, get something matching rather than identical. Some parents don’t want to dress the twins alike.
I heartily second giving anything that will make life easier once the twins arrive. Housecleaning, gift certificates, take out food certificates. It is insane how much work baby twins are (I’ve got a non working spouse, grandmother over every day, 2 live in nannies and a part time cook - and it’s still a lot of work!)
Mother of a 6 month old…
It may seem silly, but you always get a ton of clothes. Wipes/diapers while not romantic, come in very handy. My baby was born premature, and I was not prepared (I still had a month to go!) The containers of wipes/diapers/diaper creme were awesome. There is no such thing as too many. Make sure they sign up for whichever type of formula they will be using (if any) I’ve gotten at least $40 worth of checks from similac, and I’ve only been feeding formula for 3 months. It’s definitely worth it. Warm practical blankets are awesome, the floofy showy ones never get used, packs of cloth diapers (good for all around clean up).
I still hate leaving my child, I cry often. Anything you can think of to make it so they can spend more time with them is awesome, offer to go grocery shopping, bring over meals (real meals don’t happen :)) Then again, giving them time to take a break is also important, even if it’s an offer to come over for a few hours to let the mom take a diaper/crying free nap. Even now, I hate to ask, but some days, I’d love to just lay down for a bit, and it seems so inconsequential to ask someone to just come over so I can nap, guilt sets in.
Oh, and socks, I’ll be damned if I can keep up with those tiny little things. Here’s a hint, get a ton of identical socks, so they don’t have to worry about pairing them up.
Agreed, on all counts.
I don’t know if they have a lot of friends with babies, but between hand-me-downs and shower gifts, we ended up with too many clothes even for two babies. Something like housecleaning or food gift certificates would have been very, very appreciated, since you barely have time to eat, much less cook, and forget about cleaning.
Here’s a gift you can’t buy.
If they are first time parents, tell them often what a great job they are doing. There is so much fear involved as well as good intentioned criticism, sometimes someone saying “wow, you are really adept at changing diapers.” can really mean the world. “I love you” might be the 3 best words you can hear, but “good job” ranks pretty freakin’ high, especially when you are exhausted, scared and vulnerable.
Emotional support meant so much to me, it still does.
Twins, egads.
Get someone else to agree to babysit for the kids with you (if you’re not used to twins, doing it solo could prove to be really scary).
Photos of the kids from a nice local studio.
Gift certificates for shoes. They won’t be using them just yet, but damn! They grow out of shoes so quickly once they become mobile.
Receiving blankets. I had a few dozen of them and could have used more. They’re the perfect barrier between stuff that comes out of babies and your furniture.
I love the idea of the maid service!
Savings bonds or some other type of investment for an education fund. Education is plenty expensive without it automatically being TWICE AS MUCH.
Mississippienne is a 1st trimester shower usual?
Here, you don’t tell anyone except immediate family until after 12 weeks, and nobody buys you gifts until after the baby arrives. “Baby showers” before there is an actual, healthy, live baby to celebrate and provide for, just seems a little like tempting fate to me.
Obviously YMMV, but this is just one of those American customs I can’t get my head around, because if the worst happens it’s going to be devestating to have all the gifts around the house, and you lose nothing if you hold the shower in the first couple of weeks after the baby is born.
If it were me, I’d buy something nice for the mother- comfy slippers, pregnancy-safe massage oil, a trip to a spa, a massage, a cosy bedjacket or shawl (useful for the hospital stay or for sitting up at night feeding the babies), something she can use anyway, should things not work out.
Perhaps I could send you a copy of the Tropfest DVD from last week. The winning short film was Carmichael and Shane about a single father who decides that he can only afford to raise one successful child, so gives him an upmarket name, sends him to private school etc.
Here the director talks about how the 7 minute film came about.
As several posters have already said, I came in to suggest a nanny! 
Housecleaning, a Costco membership (excellent for diapers, formula, etc), babysitting certificates… all good ideas.
irishgirl, having a baby shower before the birth is the norm here- and most don’t end in tragedy. Granted, it is usually a 3rd trimester event…
After the birth, the mommy is way too busy to have a shower, unpack and sort gifts, etc.
My wee one will be six months old on Friday and I heartily agree with food and cleaning related stuff once the babies arrive. Hell, I would have appreciated if someone washed a sink full of dishes or did a load of laundry for us. (Of course, you’ll probably have to insist on helping and just jump in instead of simply offering - people can be hesitant to actually ask).
Other stuff I would have liked? A basket with things I may need close at hand. Tylenol and Advil, a huge water bottle, non-perishable snacks, heat packs for my back. Maybe an oversized, very comfortable and fairly presentable pair of pajamas - preferably in a dark colour.
This early, my suggestion would be book store gift cards. The second I found out I was pregnant, I went book crazy. A little later on, a professional photo session to capture the pregnant belly may be appreciated. Towards the end of the pregnancy, I would have loved a pedicure. My feet ached, I could barely bend over and I just wasn’t feeling terribly attractive.
I’m not a fan of purchasing diapers and wipes. Many parents find that certain brands work best, or their babies are sensitive to additives in some wipes or creams. I’m all about gift cards for those types of things. Walmart, the grocery store, the drug store - all excellent and very practical.
**irishgirl **-- this is not any sort of custom. The baby shower is being done so early for my benefit, as I’m moving to Istanbul, Turkey in a couple of months and won’t get to see the babies be born.
Thanks for the suggestions, everyone, keep 'em coming!
Cyros: My baby was born Sept. 10th, 2005 
That’s true on the wipes/diapers, sorry. I just know we used all of what we got.
The medicine idea was great, baby tylenol, mylecon, baby laxative (usually not needed for breastfed babies), safety ear swabs, alcohol wipes for the umbilical cords, GOOD nail clippers, nasal aspirator that works for little babies, twins are usually pretty small, my girl was premature and the hospital aspirator wouldn’t go in her nose, not even close. Lanolin for the mom.
I keep all her medications in her diaper bag since whereth she goes, it goes.
I planned to breastfeed so I didn’t bother buying bottles, but as soon as I started pumping (hello Milk Coming In, GET OUT) turns out bottles can be handy, so a few little 4 oz ones would be nice.
Preemies usually have a problem keeping warm, and are usually swaddled pretty well for a while, so nice flannel blankies are great for that. As well as little hats, they are harder to find that you can imagine.
Why yes, my daughter came home from the hospital in a doll dress. It was all that would fit her. 4lbs 12 oz. Strong as an ox. Small but perfect, to quote the nurses.
Father of three year old twins here.
Is the family registerd somewhere? Get something from the list…they’re asking for stuff they NEED.
Beyond that, a BIG diaper pail. Not one of those cute pearl-necklace-geenie things. They’re worthless for the number of diapers they’ll generate.
Waterproof barriers. Full elastic beedsheet types and the kind you can just lie the kid on. Trust me, it’s MUCH easier to hose off one of these things rather than remake the bed at 2:45am.
Mother of three and a half year old twins here.
I wouldn’t give clothes. We are still usng the last of the clothes from the giant boxes of hand-me-downs that arrived shortly before our boys did. Our guys were born two weeks after their due date and BIG for twins – both over seven pounds. A lot of the newborn stuff was too small for them, especially the newborn size socks.
I vote for Target gift cards and as many pairs of $2 nail clippers as the guests can collectively countenance giving. Those suckers disappear! I would not make any assumptions about breastmilk vs. formula. I know four women who had twins about the same (give or take a year) as I did, and only one of them ever fed her babies formula. There’s a tendency to assume that breastfeeding twins can’t be done. At least in some cases, it can – though simultaneously, in public, is a challenge to balance and modesty.
I agree with the coordinating vs. matching suggestion.
Unintentionally Blank is onto something with the waterproofing suggestion. A big ol’ bale of plain white cheapo terry cloth washcloths might be handy, too. The mop up various forms of unexpected slime nicely, can be bleached, and can just be tossed in the trash when the situation is too awful to contemplate as part of the laundry process.
Also, if this is their first foray into parenting and if they have a grim, irreverent, profane sense of humor (which, may all that is holy preserve them, they will have anyway after the first year with twins), The Poo Bomb by Jeff Vogel is a much better book than the title would suggest, and it helps new parents not to feel too guilty about the very candid thoughts that are going through their minds.
PuppyBowl
When they are big enough to sit in a Baby Containment Device, put this on and watch them just drool and giggle. It beats the Teletubbies with a big metal rod.
Yep, that’s what I always liked - lots of those waterproof barrier things and crib sheets. When my kids were little, I always made the bed three times. Then when they threw up or the diaper leaked at some unGodly hour, I could just rip off the dirty sheet and the waterproof barrier underneath and viola! The bed was still ‘made’ underneath. No one wants to remake the damn crib at 3:00 a.m.
I loved having tons of the baby washcloths and burp cloths, too. I still have some and use them for dust cloths. My ‘baby’ is nine.
The suggestion of lots and lots of socks was good. They only kick them off in public and you don’t notice till you’re home, and then you’re stuck with one lonely sock.
Those Onesies are quite nifty, too. Nice for when you’re just staying home, good for a warm underwear type of thing, too.
I think at one point I went through 9-10 onesies per day (newborn diapers leak a lot).
Love socks! Love waterproof things! Love big packages of cloth diapers! I think my mom still has some to use as cleaning cloths, and I’m 38!
Thanks for all the advice, guys. I took all the recommendations into consideration (although some, like offering to babysit, weren’t feasible because I’ll be out of the country by the time the baby is born).
I got the idea to do a gift-basket. I went out and got a cute basket, then purchased (2) infant caps, yellow with duckies, (2) spill-proof sippy cups, a pacifier thermometer, and a mini-basket of goodies from Bed, Bath & Beyond for the mama. Then just a couple weeks ago they went in for a sonogram and got some news: there’s only one baby left now. They’re sad about the other twin, but rather relieved to only be having one baby now. It’s a boy, a big un too, due in September. You can see his face on the sonogram, clear as day.