Meh. The parents really did sound like first-class morons. Leelah’s tumblr has been taken down, but reading her original suicide note on Wayback is both heartbreaking and shows how the media has sanitized the image of the parents. When she came out as gay in order to ease them into coming out as transgendered, they sent her to one of those Christian therapy centers to make her straight, confiscated all access to the internet, and made her change schools because her friends were supporting her. Forgive me if I’m not shedding tears for them over here.
Smapti, I appreciate the fact that you may have some strong views on matters like suicide and pronouns. You probably view yourself as logical and rational, upholding what “nature” says in the face of a bunch of bleeding hearts. But . . . a kid just threw themselves in front of a truck because of the pain they were going through, killed themselves with the small hope that maybe, somehow, they’d make a difference. Do you think you could lay off it a bit? Maybe?
I keep intending to respond, but IvoryTowerDenizen is doing a much better job than I ever could. You’re fighting the good fight, my friend; I wish I could be of more help.
Poor Leelah. My daughter (who also has a chosen name) is having a very difficult time coming to terms with the whole situation.
Stopping there because I just don’t know what else to say.
For example, presumably both you and the SDMB management would be displeased if I stated my frank opinion of you here. The latter, and only the latter, has earned my respect, so I refrain.
It would just be tasteless if he was correct, too. The fact that he’s wrong would be bad enough. That it’s exactly this kind of wrongness that drove Leelah (that is her name) to suicide…
Ugh. There’s a thread in the pit on this. My most recent post there basically says it all.
I don’t believe in saying things I know aren’t true to make people feel better, or not saying things that are true in order to save someone’s feelings. If the truth hurts, then one is obligated to work through the pain rather than find solace in a comforting lie.
It is absolutely tragic that this young man really thought the best way he could make a difference in life was by killing himself. What is calling him “her” going to change about that? He’s dead; he no longer exists, nothing any of us can possibly say or do will make him feel better or worse about himself.
The problem is you have a singularly narrow definition of truth and lies, rarely can see the grey area, and have trouble seeing things through another’s perspective. You also seem unmoved by additional facts and ideas that contradict your closely held views.
No doubt I would identify the body as male. Which would tell me little about the person that body used to be, and in this case if I claimed that person was male I would be mistaken.
I love that you deny Leelah’s gender and those who, with considerable expert research behind them, respect that. Meanwhile, you insist that you are the gender expert based only on your worldview.
So, why does your belief that gender is determined solely by genitalia and/or genetics trump the biological fact that the brains of those who are transgender differ physically from those who aren’t?
Because the brain is not a sex organ and its shape or function does not determine gender.
The brain data indicates that there is a deep-set cause of gender dysmorphia beyond simply being a choice on the part of the patient, and when I was introduced to this information several years ago I modified my beliefs in that regard. It does not change the fundamental nature of gender.
What difference could it make to a dead child if you respect the identity they chose? Very little. It’s too late for them
Was Leelah the only teenager who will read the CNN article either going through something similar themselves, or friends with or related to a teenager going through something similar? Other kids it’s not too late for? Personally, I’m a lot more cincerned about them the rights of someone to insist on defining their dead child to their own liking over her wishes, just as they did with her when she was alive.
Has it really not occurred to you that someone’s right to live the life they choose does include the right to choose their own name? Or their own identity? You really think transgender people should have to introduce themselves like “Hi, I prefer to be known as Sarah, but really my name’s Jason. I identify as a woman, but I’m actually a man.”
“Hi, I’m Sarah” works for me. The only thing I object to is insisting that choosing to live as a female makes you female, and to referring to a deceased minor child who was male and named Joshua as “her” and “Leelah” against the wishes of his surviving kin.