Good God, She Makes Me Angry!!! (Loooooong OP)

[Avarie537]

Ok - I’m a member of some other BBs, as I’m sure many of us are.

Recently, this one melodramatic attention whore (I’ll call her MAW for now) on one of my other BBs started a thread saying something like “My life is too difficult right now, and I can’t deal with the negativity that I’m feeling from you here. Don’t you see how hard I have it?!?” She is having some personal difficulties, but apparently she has been overwhelmed before, swearing off her return, etc. :rolleyes: (We should be so lucky!)

Well, this new spate of discussion reminded me of the one time we ever got into it (I stay away from her now). This was in an off-topic forum, and the thread was asking whether or not you approved of / liked / frequented strip club. I wanted to post here in the Pit when this actually happened, and now that I’ve been reminded of how much this crap drives me nuts, I just can’t stay away! (I have used direct quotes from the thread, and changed names.)

MAW:

“It is MHO that strip clubs have nothing to do with the beauty of the female form…of course the human body is magnificent and beautiful----------and it shouldn’t be trashed with trash! I also have never understood why “some” people need porn to get bothered…I have heard so many couples say they use it to excite their marriage…doesn’t say much about their marriage in my opinion.”

Notice the liberal use of “my opinion” used in the sense of “if you don’t like what I think or say, you can shove it, because I’m right.” We all know how adding “just kidding” or “my opinion” makes it all OK, right? Most people were of the “live and let live” attitude, and nobody else made sweeping generalizations that had nothing to do with the thread itself!! (Strip clubs vs. porn)

My reply:

"DH and I go with friends about once a year. I think I like looking at the women just as much as he does!!

My brother married a stripper, and the only club we go to is the one she used to work at (she’s got a day job now). Nice place - attractive girls, reasonable drink prices, annoying DJ. If he wants a lapdance, fine - but I’d better get one, too!!! We always have some pretty hot lovin’ when we get home, too!!

Originally posted by MAW

I also have never understood why “some” people** need porn to get bothered**…I have heard so many couples say they use it to excite their marriage…**doesn’t say much about their marriage in my opinion. **

Please note: Bolding mine

While I understand that you have had a difficult history in regards to sexual abuse and porn, not everybody has “issues” or “hang-ups” like you do. Anyone who needs porn to get aroused obviously needs help. For the rest of us, yes, it does add a little spice and excitement on occasion.

FWIW, sometimes I’m the one who wants to watch a little porn, not my DH. Please do not force your judgements and values on the rest of the BB public. And how DARE you judge ANYONE’S marriage based on one little aspect of their shared sexuality? Please step down from your moralistic high horse. Thank you. Snide, snarky comments like that WILL NOT win you any supporters or commiserators, regardless of your personal history."

Yeah, I went a little overboard. But it makes me SO FUCKING ANGRY when people do that shit!! And we continue…

Random Poster:

“I totally disagree with MAW, Yet I respect her opinions, and the way she chooses to state them. We are all here, giving our opinion, hers happens to be the not so popular opinion”

Me:

Random Poster:

. Yet I respect her opinions, and the way she chooses to state them. We are all here, giving our opinion, hers happens to be the not so popular opinion

Well, I don’t think that smugly belittling someone else’s choices is a good way to state your opinion. YMMV.

'Cause that’s what it sounds like to me. “I’m so sorry that you don’t have a perfect marriage like my husband and I do. WE don’t NEED porn, unlike all of you poor depraved people.” You know what I mean?

MAW:

I’m sorry that you took it as “smugly belittling” as I sure didn’t mean it that. Perhaps they don’t take it that way becuase they know me and know I wouldn’t be that way.

HAH!! Most people seemed to agree with ME that you ARE a smug, self-righteous bitch!

Now we almost dissolve into “But she started it!”

Random Poster #2:

Avarie537 Well I don’t think that smugly belittling someone else’s choices is a good way to state your opinion. YMMV.

Funny, the only one who seems to be smuggly belittling someone elses’s choice and riding a moralistic high horse is you.

You have belittled her “personally” for her opinion and you are on a moralistic high horse about how your morals are different than hers and again you did so “personally”.

(She does have a lot of friends on the board.)

Like I said - I know I I may have gone a little overboard with my original post, but I just couldn’t hold back!! So, I try to calm down a little.

Me:

My point was simply that I think it’s very rude and inappropriate to insinuate that a married couple has problems just because they may watch a porn movie once in a while. Sure - you don’t have to do it. We choose to, on occasion, so please don’t say that just because we watch porn, there’s something lacking in our relationship. That’s exactly what she said, and I think that’s offensive and rude to a lot of people.

As to my “moral high horse,” I never said that my choices were any better or worse than any one else’s, while MAW’s tone seemed very condescending to me. If that is her normal MO, then I’ll just stay away.

But of course, that didn’t work!!

MAW:

I did not imply you, for some reason you inserted yourself into it, or anyone else inparticular…just my observations of some people I have known like my brother and his wife ------------ if you take what I write the wrong way, that’s your problem…no one else here did.

OH!! So what you meant to say was, “My brother and his wife need porn to excite their marriage, and their relationship ain’t all that great.”

Random poster #3:

What MAW said was that it was her opinion and that it was “some people”, not all people. You, she, and everyone else here are free to state their opinion. There’s no need to try and force your opinon on her, or berate her either.

JMO

Once again, with the “I said it’s just my opinion, so you can’t be mad at me” defense. * sigh * I just can’t stand that crap!! And apparently, she does it in almost every single thread in which she posts!!!

So I open my big fat mouth … again.

Sorry - on my other BB, she would’ve been flamed for seeming close-minded and judgmental. And not just by me.

(Yes, we allow you to express your opinions over there, but people also express when they are offended or otherwise affected by said opinions.)

Yes, Dopers, I was referring to you. Ok, maybe you wouldn’t have flamed her outright, but I’m sure I wouldn’t have been the only Pissed-Off Poster in THAT thread.

So Random Poster #1 says

How close minded and judgmental those people on the other board must be for being so upset that not everyone is as liberal as they are.

You didn’t simply express that you were offended by her opinion, you personally attacked her, there is a very big difference.

Ok. So maybe she’s right about the personal attacks. But my marriage is my business, and if you’re gonna post something like “everyone who watches porn has something wrong in their marriage,” well, you’ re gonna make people mad!!! Like I said - I was just the only one to have the balls to say it.

So MAW gets in the last “Can’t we be friends now” post. I don’t know if I even read it the first time around, honestly.

MAW:

Avarie537

Sorry - on my other BB, she would’ve been flamed for seeming close-minded and judgmental. And not just by me.

Opinions can’t be wrong —it’s an opinion and we all differ. Hell Random Poster #2 is one of my close board friends and we differ all the time! We have had different experiences that cause us to see things differently, doesn’t change my view of, or feelings for her.
Avarie537

(Yes, we allow you to express your opinions over there, but people also express when they are offended or otherwise affected by said opinions.)

We too express how we feel about others opinions, just usually not so bitingly, especially when we don’t know the person well, unless that person is blatantly, in the view of most here, being an ass. It’s what makes this place so great, and why some of us as much as we go though our periods of arguments, love it here!!
We are also a big family most of the time
I must of missed when you (Avarie537) when you first first arrived <AT THIS WEBISTE>, so I’ll take the opportunity to say “welcome” now…

Oh - BTW - most people who posted in the thread DIDN’T have a problem with porn or strip clubs … :rolleyes:

Dammit, I never said your opinion was wrong! I just called her ass to the floor for making insulting random generalizations about EVERY MARRIED COUPLE who watches porn!!

::deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep breath::

So in the end, I look like the hypersensitive, over-reacting bitch, and she comes out looking like the good guy. Whatever.

Anyway - I don’t go there much anymore in the first place (not nearly as interesting as here ), and have always tried to stay away from replying to her since. But if she really goes away, it may be a happier place for me to visit!

Thanks for listening!!

[lezlers]

So, you can’t “Pit” people there?

[butter_pie]

My brain hurts now…

reading this felt like one of those high school he said/she said, I can’t believe they SAID that things… ow.

[FisherQueen]

You’re absolutely right.

That was a long OP.

[Avarie537]

*Originally posted by lezlers *
**So, you can’t “Pit” people there? **

Oh no - nothing like this at all.

That’s why I did it here! I just needed to vent.

P.S. I TOLD you it was long!!

[lezlers]

Not to be a bitch or anything but, how old are you?

[Diogenes_the_Cynic]

What’s a “DH?” Is your huband a designated hitter?

[Arnold_Winkelried]

DH = dear husband or darling husband

[kambuckta]

Why didn’t I trust my intuition…why the FUCK did I bother reading that?

That was a complete waste of 4 minutes of my life.

Erghh.

[Pedro]

*Originally posted by kambuckta *
**Why didn’t I trust my intuition…why the FUCK did I bother reading that?

That was a complete waste of 4 minutes of my life.

Erghh. **

Hehe, you should do like me, scan the replies first. Thanks!

[Avarie537]

I’m 23 … like I said, it pissed me off at the time, and pissed me off again when I re-read it.

Yeah - I realized that my initial reaction was overboard, and I tried to formulate a much more reasonable response. But it pissed me off!! And since there’s no place to “pit” posters over there, I came over here.

[lezlers]

I guess there’s nothing against the rules about it, as an administrater posted to this thread and didn’t say anything, but it seems as if pitting someone over a fight on another message board would be considered bad form. Maybe it’s just me.

I’m with Jin, it sounded really high school.

[Bryan_Ekers]

When the so-called MAW wrote this:

you take what I write the wrong way, that’s your problem

…she was right (admittedly, that was the only time) and you should grow the fuck up.

[Shodan]

Please do not force your judgements and values on the rest of the BB public.

I missed the part where she did this by disagreeing with you on a public messageboard.

Tip for the future: You are entirely correct that someone was behaving like an asshole in the thread you quoted.

We probably disagree on who that someone is.

Regards,
Shodan

[Blonde]

It sounds as if you’re angry and/or embarrassed that more posters didn’t back you up - but posting an entire thread to justify your position is a little childish. It’s not the end of the world if everyone doesn’t agree with you - move on. You’ve wasted an awful lot of time anguishing over something that’s pretty trivial in the grand scheme of things, IMHO.

[Avarie537]

I actually asked the Pit Mods if it was OK before I even did it.

It’s just a rant.

Yes, I know it was dumb when I did it!! I’ve said that before. We can regret things we’ve said/done, but still be riled by the situation that caused the reaction, right?

[lezlers]

Eh.

Yeah I guess so, but we also need to prepare for other people’s reactions to the stupid things we say and do.

[Avarie537]

So once you get pissy and say something dumb, that’s it? No one ever just does these things on occasion? :rolleyes: I haven’t gotten nasty here or there about this or any other situation since. Haven’t I repented enough???

[kambuckta]

Oh, just take a chill-pill will ya Avarie. Yours was NOT one of the unpardonable sins of the SDMB. We’ll forgive you this minor transgression…

…this time.