Good Poetry from the Bad Translator

Cafe Society
21

I wrote down the food I wanted, just to see how it would turn out: “I would like a quesadilla made with cheddar cheese. Then, drizzle honey over the top. Wouldn’t that be delicious?” The result: “Tsheddar cheese. After the rain, children will be better.”

Actual “poetry:” I accidentally wrote a country songonce. Here is the bad translation version:

Unfortunately, I do not know it was not boring, I must say thanks
Not for my friend and class, we assume that
Sorry, but thanks to the purchase and may be inaccurate. So, uncomfortable at home as the disease
The first time, between different financial markets in order to avoid confusion, we begin.
Sorry, but thanks to the purchase and may be inaccurate. He felt no fatigue and heart disease.
I am Surprised how much more successful.
Every day, internationally. Fasilityes for students, Second Life, perhaps, but I can not stop thinking zhidao.
Sorry, but thanks to the purchase and may be inaccurate. He felt no fatigue and heart disease. No, thank you so of course I was tired, but unfortunately the contract.

22

"How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? "

…54 translations later we get:

“mamottomamotto mamotoy do.”

Maybe that is actually the answer! I gotta say it has a ring to it.

23

And for comparison here is the work of a master songwriter.

How many roads must a man walk down Before you call him a man? Yes, ‘n’ how many seas must a white dove sail Before she sleeps in the sand? Yes, ‘n’ how many times must the cannon balls fly Before they’re forever banned? The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind, The answer is blowin’ in the wind."

…25 translations later we get:

“In many ways she seems to say? For example, the first number of pigeons, PA in the White Sea before going to sleep? Identity is often the target, the ball is still banned? Responses to the wind, my friend.”

I like “Responses to the wind, my friend”. Kind of an up-class “don’t waste your breath”

24

Hehe i’m having fun, one more.

Who knew Polonius was predicted the credit collapse.

Neither a borrower nor a lender be, For loan oft loses both itself and friend, And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry."

…25 translations later we get:

“Creditors and debtors, including credit-often lose friends, but the debtor has no interest in living in a modern economy.”

25

Pickles man. Enlightenment of the gods.

The above was my original response to Auto but then I decided to run it through the translator and it becomes thus:

After 10 becomes:

“Pickle people. Reduction of God.”

After 25 becomes:

“Poor people. End of God.”

After max becomes:

“God black.”

Holy fuck! The smoke monster from Lost is God. Damn that blows my theory out of the wading pool. I think this site might be the Messiah.

EDIT: Thank you Even for enlightening me to our holy host. I shall spend much time learning from the great Master.

26

I really like this one: two sentences from an article about Lady Gaga becomes:

“Young people in New York. Old school fool most of the Victim and announced a New System.”

27

How about a real poem?

“Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, Creeps in this petty pace from day to day, To the last syllable of recorded time; And all our yesterdays have lighted fools The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Life’s but a walking shadow.”

…25 translations later we get:

“Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, the same day as the previous post is an example of a stupid little dirt road, died yesterday. Apart from a brief candle! Life goes on.”

28

Originally posted by Bad Translator

29

Ezra Pound

30

Talk about lost in translation…

31

"Big love! But to save sinners. But it does not make sense in the shadow disappeared."

It started as the first verse of Amazing Grace

"Not directly in the war against the United States Coast mountains, do not worry."

It started life as

we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in
the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender,

"Tiffany is a beautiful woman, and sweet, a Mercedes, a distorted image of a great friend of the matter, said the hospital’s garden, dance dance dance to forget Karen Wang"

Well, I certainly would! This was also poignant at the 10-translations level:

"Tiffany, sweet summer sweat a distorted view of this is a beautiful woman, Mercedes, which is a nice friend, said, dancing in the garden of the hospital, some dance to remember, dancing Wang Foundation"

And of course this evocative portrait of the man who, comforted by his very good friend Tiffany and her Mercedes, throws himself into dancing at this charitable event either to forget Karen Wang or to benefit her eponymous Wang Foundation, apperars to have been translated by someone who inhaled a bit too much of the warm smell of colitas rising up through the air:

Her mind is Tiffany twisted, she got the Mercedes Benz
She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys that she calls friends
How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat
Some dance to remember, some dance to forget

32

“I am going to the cafeteria for coffee. Does anyone want me to get them anything while I’m there?”

(25 translations)

I was in the cafe.
Some people want it all, but I?

33

“Thank you for your question. I know that the 2010 special prosecutor 1st April. The project will continue. Several characters, especially limitations,”

“Thank you for placing your order with Lands’ End. We wanted you to know that your Lands’ End order was shipped on 04/01/2010. Backordered items will ship separate”

(25 translation)

34

Ah, well – as Ed Zotti would say,

“War of 1973 (I think, and Sunday), I do not know.”

which of course started as:

“Fighting ignorance since 1973. (It’s taking longer than we thought.)”

35

Hmm, if a Facebook status works, tweets should too…

In the last chapter bluegrass Festival - -
blue sky and leaves and shoots.

Originally: “last day in DC - going to Bluegrass Festival - blue sky and all the trees have leaf buds”. (I didn’t even go to the Bluegrass Festival in the end though.)

Breadth in the blood of love, God has blessed me

started out as “crows in love on the lamppost, bless 'em”

A rather nice basis for a song lyric:

  • How often this happens:
    I go to my God,
    this is strange, this is a good thing,
    it seems to be Jesse*

was originally: “How many times has this happened: you go “oh my god what is this incredible sound” and it turns out to be the Bee Gees”

36

A line from President Obama’s Dreams From My Father…

“At the time of his death, my father remained a myth to me, both more and less than a man.”

becomes, after max translations…

“My father died in least two people.”

37

More Shakespeare:

The openings of “Romeo and Juliet” and “Richard III” after 25 and 54 translations, respectively.
(Saint Cad, I’m still laughing over “stupid little dirt road”.)

38

From the old Lillian Leach and the Mellows song:

Original: “Smoke from your cigarette clouds my eyes. Things that you speak of make me realize that you’ve found someone else to take my place in your heart, in your heart.”
10 rounds: “Since his eyes, the new smoke cigarettes. That said, I know some people say that I am in my mind, I found my heart.”
25 rounds: “Eyes of young smokers. I mean, I know some people say to me, I found my heart.”
**54 rounds: ** “And children are not allowed. Some people say that my heart is my intention.”

39

The Bad Translator reads Nietzsche?

40

This is poetic to start with, so I ran with it. Here’s the complete sequence of English translations: