This is someone I have to interact with at least five days a week. She is meddlesome, narcissistic, self-sbsorbed, and lies constantly for the purpose of self-aggrandizement. Unfortunately, to make herself look good, she must continually shift blame for real or imagined difficulties onto others, frequently me.
She can’t stand for anyone around her to be happy or appear to be a good person in any way. I can’t lose my temper with her because of our professional relationship, but no one has ever pushed my buttons like this.
It shouldn’t bother me to see someone be so smugly conceited when I know it’s all based on delusion, but man this lady is a piece of work!
I think we should be careful not to assign diagnostic labels to someone if we’re not professionals, and even if we are professionals, we shouldn’t assign those labels outside of a treatment setting.
Having said that - in terms of the behavior that’s often seen in personality disorders in the cluster B category (Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic, Narcissistic), I have found that a book called I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me has good tips for communicating with people with those disorders. It was written for lay people who are dealing with a person with Borderline Personality Disorder, but I have been able to apply some of the communication strategies to other people with similar behaviors.
In the workplace, there are expectations of behavior that she must meet, and if she’s regularly violating those, and her supervisor is not doing anything about that behavior, then looking into other books written regarding HPD might help.
(At this time I would like to point out that my actual Congresswoman, Rep. Barbara Lee, is to me the pinnacle of awesomeness in a politician and is in no way the reason I smile at this quip.)
