I’m afraid I might hurt or kill someone if I continue to drive with my vision issues. I’m grateful for what I CAN see, thanks to all those eye surgeries–13, including four corneal transplants. Docs tell me I’m out of options. I’ve only been driving in my familiar neighborhood, where I don’t need to see street signs or address numbers (I can see cars and people.), and I never, ever drove at night, not only due to night blindness but also to the blinding flares of headlights and street lamps. My peripheral vision isn’t good, so I was turning my head like an owl.
Not safe, so…done. I’m going to miss the freedom of driving. No more running to the store because I’m out of eggs midway through a recipe. Maybe this’ll make me more organized! Ha! The stern nuns of my scatter-brained childhood self scoff.
Mostly it’s a big nuisance. I already walk anywhere within two miles when lupus and weather allow. Using buses is dicey due to the vision stuff. I’m applying for disability transportation, which is like a shuttle service and must be booked a day ahead. I can use Uber in a pinch, but it’s too pricey to use often. Dog-sitting for my son and his wife means three transfers and a few hours, and they live less than 50 miles from here. Plus the local buses stop running at 7 PM. I haven’t figured out how to get to Seattle eye specialists yet.
Hopefully I’ll adjust to all this soon and without succumbing to self-pity, which I hate. Other people manage, including, I’m sure, some of you. I’m open to advice!
Well done for doing the noble thing, especially in the U.S. where public transportation is generally so bad. It’s not a straightforward issue - on the face of it, it seems so dangerous that stopping driving for age/health reasons seems to rely mostly on individual discretion (some states have a periodic eye test or health certification, some don’t). But statistically younger drivers cause far more accidents - suggesting that your mental attitude is far more important than motor coordination or physical capabilities (up to a point).
Glad to hear you’ve made the tough but correct choice. Can you look into grocery delivery in your neighbourhood? It’s getting more widespread, and thus becoming more reasonably-priced.
Self driving cars are just around the corner. That’ll make the boomers senior years much happier.
Meanwhile, there’s Uber. That’s the best choice to go shopping if you can’t drive. Many places like Walmart have store pickup. Place your order ahead of time, have the Uber guy wait while it’s loaded, and you can go home in the same car.
I know first hand how difficult vision problems can be. I developed early cataracts after shingles attacked my left eye. It has an advanced cataract. My right eye is better with a slower growing one.
I am sorry that you’re in this situation. I would definitely look into seeing if Amazon’s Prime Now service or a grocery store delivery service might be an option.
Sell your car. That could be taxi or uber service money for a while. Sorry about this, if I lived close I would give you rides, 'cause I am just nice like that. Good luck.
So sorry about the cataracts–and from shingles–yikes! I developed early cataracts due to use of steroids when I was rejecting transplants and can tell you the surgery was the easiest I’ve had. Everybody I’ve known who’s had it has been thrilled with the results. Because of my complex situation, I didn’t get the visual acuity most people do, but I was overjoyed to rediscover how vivid and bright the world is. I hope you get the surgery soon.
That’s a great suggestion about store pickup and Uber. I’ll definitely do that. I shop at Walmart for certain grocery items that are way cheaper there, but obviously that’ll have to end. Uber is about $15 each way to the closest Walmart, but I bet I could limit trips to once a month. The other store I’d hate to give up is Costco. I love Costco. Actually, I love stores, even if I don’t spend anything. For some reason, they cheer me up.
Thanks, everyone. It’s already frustrating, but I’m so terrified of hurting someone, the relief alone is worth it.
I will definitely sell my car eventually. I just can’t get myself to do it right now. I have to work through some panicky stranded feelings–totally illogical, I know. Also, I bought the car with money left me by a dear friend and named it after him. Yeah, I’m a sentimental idiot.
Has anyone ordered groceries to be delivered? One store here has it, but I’m picky about produce, and I don’t want to get a bunch of bruised bananas. OK, true confession: I like underripe fruit, as in–brace yourselves–peaches that crunch when I bite into them. I know it’s wrong, but I can’t stop. I hate mushy fruit or truly ripe bananas.
And thanks, Beckdawreck. If we lived closer to each other, I’d take you up on that in exchange for homemade cacciatore or lasagna. I bet we’d have ourselves a time.
I tried Instacart from Aldi, and everything was perfect. You can type in comments for different items, like “very green” for bananas or whatever. Give it a whirl!
That sounds like exactly what I need! Unfortunately, I live in western Washington, and the nearest Aldi is in Bakersfield, CA. Maybe they’ll expand this way.
Check with your city about transportation for seniors. My city offers transportation for citizens 55 and over to any location in the city for 25 cents each way. They operate Monday-Friday 9 am - 4 pm. You can make reservations. The regonal transit system also has on-call services for vans to pick you up at your house and take you to the train station.
My parents had to give up driving for health reasons maybe a year ago. And they live in Los Angeles where people think you need a car to survive. But they’ve discovered they can manage just fine with walking, public transit, and the occasional Uber. They just discovered a grocery delivery service that provides perfect produce.
I wish my MIL would take the same step. She’s got macular degeneration and she claims she’s OK to drive as long as it’s bright and sunny in familiar neighborhoods. She’s told me how vehicles get “hidden” when they’re next to trees or other darker backgrounds… I’m terrified that she’s going to hit someone because of these “hidden” episodes.
For an otherwise smart woman, she’s extremely stupid and pigheaded about this. And they live 800 miles away, so there’s nothing we can do for her.
So congrats to you and good luck. Just another little challenge life has tossed your way.
For perishables it varies with where you live. Are you still in the Seattle metropolitan area? For example Instacart delivers in a lot of places and has deals with a number of grocery chains: https://www.instacart.com/grocery-delivery/regions
I use Fred Meyer for grocery orders. They also have an option for adding in specific requests for items (green bananas only, no substitutions for brand of yogurt, or second choice for chocolate chips is…). They’ve been really good. They bring it out to the car and I can send things back if I don’t like what they’ve picked. I think that’s only happened once, and they had flagged the item already.
Grocery delivery totally saved my butt 20+ years ago when I spent nearly a year on crutches after leg surgery, and there are a lot more options now. Around here Costco does it, too. Especially for nonperishables, it’s amazing what you can get delivered.
If you’re willing to experiment, try a CSA for produce in season; you can search by zip code for ones near you. Some of them deliver to individual homes, or maybe you can get a neighbor to split a share with you (many are too much food for a single person; my mom splits her share with a friend), especially fi the one you choose has a centralized pickup spot rather than home delivery. (And some even do items like local eggs, cheese, honey, etc.)
I have a lot of homework to do, and I couldn’t be happier about it. Dopers come through yet again, and you don’t even know me!
I live quite a ways south of Seattle-Tacoma. Even so, the suggestions give me good ideas about whom to call Monday.
None of my vision issues are age-related. I developed keratoconus, which distorts the cornea into a rough cone shape. Lupus causes iritis, which led to rejection, and I’ll always be high-risk. A case of endophthalmitis (catastrophic infection inside the eyeball) damaged my retina, as did a med I took for lupus. Glaucoma arose from surgeries and the infection. Oh, and cataracts (Gone for good!) came from using steroids to thwart rejections.
Thanks so much for all the recommendations and support.
