I’ll join the crowd saying farewell to a pet. My dog, Wolf, has sick for some time. He’s been on thyroid meds for a year and a half. He’s been incontinent for a while. He seemed to have had a stroke about six months ago and has had mobility issues since. He had been eating next to nothing the last two days - even canned food was spurned.
Yesterday I gave him his morning meds and went off to work. He was outside in his favorite sunny spot. Wolf never left my yard anymore, not even to walk down to the barn with me. He’d go about 200 feet and sit and wait for me to come back. When I got back from work, he had disappeared. I can’t find him anywhere. It’s my guess, and the vet’s office, that he probably went off to die. He had an appointment for tomorrow to go to the vet’s and get his thyroid levels checked and just monitor his health. I hate this. I’d rather he’d have been euthanized, because as hard as that is, at least you know it’s over.
I got Wolf after the barn manager at the barn I used to board at abandoned him and 6 horses. i wasn’t boarding there any longer, but other boarders asked if I could take him. I didn’t really need a middle-aged barn dog, but no one else would take him. At first he wouldn’t come in the house at all - he acted like he’d been hit if he got too close to the door. Three months after I took him in, he was struck with an inexplicable paralysis. He couldn’t move any of his legs at all. I took him to the vet (to get him in my car, I had to roll him on a blanket and use a piece of plywood as a ramp to drag his 100 lbs into the car) and they couldn’t find any response to pain. They literally had the needle ready to put him down and we decided to try hospitalization and steroids and antibiotics, even though there was no idea what was wrong. He walked out 5 days later. That was five years ago. I gave him five good years, which is the best I guess I could hope for.
I’m sure people will think it’s awful that he wasn’t penned up so I knew where he went, but he spent his life as an independent soul. I never had the heart to confine a farm dog. He never roamed, never chased livestock or cars, never even barked at strangers. He loved me, but didn’t seem to care much about any other people. He was my boy, and I loved him dearly. I still hope he’ll show up, but there hasn’t been one day when he wasn’t here when got home. I’ll miss him.
I will say that, even as of yesterday, although he had trouble getting up and down, and urinary incontinence, he still enjoyed life. He was right there when dinner time came, and he loved laying (or lying?) in the sun, and walking with me when I went ot feed. He’d lay (or lie) on his memory foam bed at night, but was always ready to go out in the mornings. He didn’t seem in pain, just weak in the back end. He didn’t suffer.
I’m so sorry, especially that you (most likely) won’t be able to say a proper goodbye to him. As hard as it is to euthanize a dear pet, at least when you make the decision and have it carried out, you know you’ve done all you could, you’ve chosen, as best you could, the most merciful balance of life and death, and you can, if you choose, be with him when he goes over the bridge.
Now, as you say, you are left not only to mourn his loss but to forever have a nagging uncertainty of how and when and where he died. That majorly sucks. {{{{{hugs}}}}}
I’m very sorry. What a terrible thing. But you gave him five good years, as you say, and I’m sure he would thank you if he could.
Mr. S had a dog when he was a kid who disappeared one day, after he’d been old and sick for a while. They found what was most certainly Rocky’s remains years later, when they tore down the old (ramshackle) house after building a new one. He’d apparently crawled in under the floorboards. It gave some cold comfort to think that he’d at least chosen to be nearby.
Anyway, if you haven’t you might try checking possible hidey-holes, even ones that seem improbable. I know all too well how important that closure can be, no matter how sad the circumstances.
EddyTeddyFreddy, Khadaji, nonacetone - Thanks. I’m glad I have the other animals here. I couldn’t bear an empty house.
Scarlett67 - I’ve looking in all his usual hidey-holes (deep under the lilac bush, in the holly) and under all the shrubs, teh porch, the culverts. He’s a big dog, and I don’t think his mobility would let him creep very far. But I’ll keep looking. I hate to say it, but I was looking for black vultures circling while I was out looking. We have a large vulture population.
I’m sorry for your loss, don’t worry about not keeping him penned up. I’m a city slicker but If I lived on a farm I wouldn’t of kept him locked up either. He lived on a farm, he had a great life I’m sure.
Fluffy suffered from hyperthyroid as well. It is hard watching your furry friend degrade.
You are right about not being there and not knowing. My last cat died while I was away which sucked. I felt that I never had proper closure. Watching Fluffy pass was very hard but it was more complete.
I am so very sorry, StG.
Maybe you’ll find Wolf; I am sure you are right that he went off to die.
My neighbor’s ancient kitty did that and she never did find her, but she was so tiny to begin with. My neighbor was eventually able to find peace with the knowledge that wherever her final resting place was, her kitty had had a good long life.
I am glad Wolf had those last years with you, and I know what you mean about not having an animal-empty house. That happened to us once. Never again.
