Um, then go away. We promise we won’t miss you.
:rolleyes:
As to this thread, maybe jarbabyj had a point, maybe not. I have always found Duck Duck Goose to be just fine to interact with.
I will say, however, that her response was beyond the pale - I’m unpleasantly surprised, DDG. 
Esprix
I suspect that some other posters, in light of the ‘hey, it’s perfectly ok to freak out and call someone else names in the Pit’ feeling, are reluctant to bring anything up sooner, and only come out when it’s been all put out on the table by someone else and things are nasty anyway. I know I tend to hit the back button before typing posts of that nature for this reason - not that a ton of Dopers irritate me enough for a Pitting, mind you. In that light, maybe that’s why some people wait a while - it becomes a matter of “is it worth saying something about yet?” until finally the answer is yes, and then the question of why nothing was said sooner is asked.
[rambling]If I see a post to the effect of “well, Poster X, you seem to be the only one who feels this way, so screw you”, I might well consider responding with “actually, this bothers me too”. However, I’d suspect that the response in that instance might be “oh, a pile-on, why didn’t you post earlier if it was so bad”, and my reasoning would be to avoid a response like the one just given to Poster X.[/rambling]
Personally, I’m trying to figure out if there would have been a “reasonable” way to tell DDG something to the effect of that one of her favorite things to do on this board was really getting irritating. (E-mail perhaps, but as was pointed out, she doesn’t have a published address and the other methods cited wouldn’t be obvious.) I would think being confronted with a sentiment to the effect of “what you truly like doing on the board is irritating” might tend to make a lot of people defensive or angry. I’m not sure if they’d have gone to the lengths of the second (?) post by DDG, but still, it’s something to consider.
I can only speak for myself.
First, I never found it “so damned irritating” that I even thought of beginning a Pit thread about it. Annoying enough to roll my eyes occasionally, sure. But I think you would be mistaken to believe that several of us have long-standing, soulkilling issues with DDG.
Second, the fallout of Pit threads in which regs jugulate each other is considerable. I am sure many recall the obfusciatrist/Zenster thread and the sheer ugliness that ensued.
DDG is a popular, respected poster. Most of the time, I just wasn’t willing to bear the consequences of calling DDG out if I wasn’t actually boiling over. In the case of this thread, the door was opened by someone else. And in my infinite wisdom, it seemed like a good idea at the time to add my own grievances. Since it added fat to the fire and didn’t even make me feel a whole lot better, well, it clearly wasn’t such a smashing idea.
So I recall a particularly frustrating thread from two years ago. I happen to have a fairly retentive memory. I can recall many threads in GD that I posted frequently on from the past two and a half years. This is not symptomatic of any poisonous issues.
And I didn’t try to address this sooner because my anger wasn’t exactly boiling over, which it would have to be in order to endure the inevitable fallout. I didn’t care enough before, and it didn’t seem worth it. I thought this would be a decent venue to air my own relatively minor issues with as little real rancor as possible.
Sorry if I failed and gave anyone the wrong impression.
Ferret Herder: I suspect that some other posters, in light of the ‘hey, it’s perfectly ok to freak out and call someone else names in the Pit’ feeling, are reluctant to bring anything up sooner, and only come out when it’s been all put out on the table by someone else and things are nasty anyway.
Well, this is true to a point. I’m trying to get at this: I have seen a lot of reasonable Pit threads that were just constructive criticism. My perception of these was that they happened only when an issue was sort of fresh. These festered ones, they don’t allow for a calm approach from any side: citicizer or -ee.
Personally, I’m trying to figure out if there would have been a “reasonable” way to tell DDG something to the effect of that one of her favorite things to do on this board was really getting irritating. Bring it up back when it was first irritating so the posters making such a critique wouldn’t sound so harsh (or be so harsh, depending on whether it was intended or not!) and the reaction is much more likely to be taken in stride. Maybe it wouldn’t work, but it is silly to complain that it didn’t happen here when everyone has had the opportunity all this time—I mean, DDG has been how DDG is for as long as I can remember.
Maybe it already has been tried before… I don’t stop in the pit all that often. If so, then I am an idiot and will shut up.
Currently I have two posters on ignore (don’t worry mods, I won’t name them). Their posting style, the things they say, and just their personalities in general annoy the ever loving shit out of me.
This is a wonderful feature that has made my stay at the SDMB a lot more enjoyable.
Just saying. . .
Oh, Maeglin, I’m suffering from my own sort of hyperbole here, too. But you do say this: “I didn’t care enough before, and it didn’t seem worth it.” But that’s my point… it seems that by the time it is worth it, what comes out on the post is much more than one would really want to demonstrate respectful criticism.
Maybe I should just shut up altogether.
No, you are absolutely right. These kinds of threads escalate so swiftly and the posting rate is so high. I know I was refreshing pretty constantly, fixated on what Jack or Jill or whoever was going to say next. Vituperative language and unnatural intensity inevitably transform criticism into something much more personal and brutal.
I would just like to clarify that any implication in my last post that DDG or Jarbaby is on my ignore list was unintentional. I have neither one on ignore and have no plans to do so.
eris, i didn’t bring up my problem with ddg earlier because it wasn’t an issue earlier, but as I said and I see a few others have said, as of late she seems a bit MORE short tempered and a bit MORE bossy than usual. The anahita thread stuck in my craw for a while, and then her response to Joe_Cool in the Unban Satan thread made me think of it, and i was moved to post.
But, like I’ve said, she answered my questions and I’m fine with it.
J
And therefore a damn good thing to avoid.
It’s cool with me, jar, I think we all know where we’re standing. Just want to say my piece. Neither you nor DDG (nor most of the contributors here!) are the latest n00b racist whatever, so I just have my concerns, s’all.
[Putty] High five 
[/…]
I think that for anything to be taken as genuine constructive criticism, it needs to do away with sarcasm and an exasperated tone and (probably) obscenities. Jar has the right to post whatever she wants, and featuring such things in a rant makes it worlds funnier. But when she or I or anyone is using a snarky tone, well, the rest of us shouldn’t tell the recipient that it’s “only constructive criticism.” It is what it is–a rant–and yes, there are nuggets of useful observations in the OP. But it IS a rant, and I think it’s a little much for us to expect someone to read it and say “Golly, thanks, I’ll take it to heart.”
I had a fucking dissertation advisor who did not know the difference between cruel insults and constructive criticism, so I’m a little attuned to how messages might fall on certain ears.
I really liked Hamlet’s song.
Good show, Hammy!
I think I said in the beginning Cranky that it was criticism coupled with a rant and I said about three or four times that I didn’t expect a gleeful reply.
How many MORE times must I say it?
I couldn’t tell ya, girl, because it only took me once to figure that out. It’s not you and me that don’t get that–you proved that in a later statement for anyone who didn’t pick that up in the OP.
I’m not saying that vitriolic replies were justified. It just irked me to see people jump in to imply that because some of the criticism was valid, DDG shouldn’t have been offended.
LOVE YOU.
MEAN IT!
Song? SONG? Heck, I liked ALL of them!! Kudos.
Jarbaby, I’ve noticed something that ya might wanna stew upon.
In a few threads, you have expressed an opinion about something. Oprah, DDG, miscellaneous… and then a buncha folks come along and express their opinions, some of which are about you or your opinion. You then concede some points, or apologize, or acknowledge something that you were looking to get out of the thread, or indicate in some other way that you are pretty much over it.
Then some more people come along and say some more stuff, and maybe a lot of it is the same stuff, but these people aren’t done yet.
Then you appear to be getting uncomfortable and indicate that YOU are done, so THEY should be.
Then some more people say some more, and you say again how done you are and dammit, can’t they just see that and leave you be?
Well, newsflash: this is the Dope. They don’t necessarily want anything from you. People wanna say * their * piece. Just because you got what you wanted out of your thread (or didn’t and are regretting ever opening it and wanna be left alone now), that doesn’t mean that others are done with what they want to say.
This is how it is.
It isn’t going to change.
Remember it the next time you want to say something controversial, and brace yourself for the inevitable reaction.
Just a tip.
Nope, that’s why I didn’t ask for it to be closed. Talk about it all you want. I haven’t changed my mind on DDG one iota. I have no regrets of opening it. If people still have problems, go at it, but I’m only coming back to this if people ask me questions directly.
I apologized because DDG said I said I didn’t like her 'whole lifestyle" and that’s not what I meant to do. But I don’t apologize for the OP and I don’t think it’s wrong to criticize a fellow doper.
Sorry if you perceived me to be asking everyone to stop…I was just suggesting that I was going to.
Oh, and If you mean my reaction to Cranky, I misunderstood her post and thought it was directed at me, so I replied. We’re all clear on the subject now. Carry on.