Just thought I’d take a moment to put in words what’s going on with me. It seems like one of those days that’s worth remembering.
Yesterday was my High School graduation, which was stressful and overwhelming, but of course a proud moment. From there I got together with a group from Mom’s side of the family, and went over to the college I’ll be attending next year, and got a little tour from my grandfather, an alumnus. Mom pulled me aside and said something about my “attitude” and my “arrogance”. She said I was being distant… I told her I was just overwhelmed by all of this. She responded with “All of what? This isn’t a big deal!” I couldn’t put words to what I wanted to say. I tried to explain and started to cry. Her response? “Oh great, now you’re going to throw a temper tantrum? I can’t believe this. You’re going to stand there and cry? Shut up. This is absurd.” Fuck her. Maybe if she had made it to her High School graduation she would know something about how that feels.
When I was able to, I got out of there and spent a little time with the crew from Dad’s side, and some time with a few of my friends, which got me feeling a little better.
At 8 pm I went back to school and met up with the other graduates. The whole senior class went from there to a lock-in at a really cool rec center. Skating, bowling, movies, arcade games, karaoke, food, etc. The pot and alcohol were out in full force, resulting in a fairly wild time in this giant place. One last blast, you know? Who knows how many of them I’ll never see again?
The partying went on until 6:00 or so this morning. We finished by watching a video that our teachers had made, each sharing memories and advice for this class. Exhausted, we gathered our things and rode a bus back to school through a predawn thunderstorm. We said goodbye and went our separate ways. I stopped to watch the sun rise on my new day, the first of this new stage. I came home. I slept 3 or 4 hours, and then got up and went out to enjoy the day. I played the blues on a gorgeous guitar at a local music shop, went record shopping and got some stuff, then went to meet up with a friend for some coffee and companionship. We split, I came home.
I’m listening to Simon and Garfunkel, Live From New York City, 1967, an acoustic live album perfect for a semi-rainy day. I’m a little sad, a little excited, I’m hung over and I have that wonderful warm exhausted glow you get when you’ve been up for far too long. Everything sounds great, feels great, seems significant. Not how I’d want to live my whole life, but just right for today. Thought someone should know.
LC