I graduate on Friday. It’s a done deal. Regardless of my grade in experimental psychology, I passed substance abuse and thus fulfilled all requirements for my bachelor’s in psychology. As of two o’clock on May 17, I’ll no longer be a student on the University of Texas at Austin. I’m still not comfortable, or happy, about the idea.
Late tomorrow evening, the first of a whole tribe of people will appear for the big event. My parents, my brother, my grandparents, my “aunt and uncle” (my parents’ longtime friends, who I love dearly). My other set of grandparents can’t make it, or else they would come as well. My cousin would come except she has to work.
I’m touched that so many people care and want to attend. I’m fortunate to have to many people who love me. I don’t get to see my brother nearly as much as I would like, so I’m always happy to see him. I’m grateful for this, yet I can’t shake the idea that this weekend is going to be a complete and utter disaster.
My parents are thoroughly displeased that I’m going to spend my year off here in Austin, rather than moving home to live with them. I’m heard their arguments why I should go back to Deer Park a hundred times, and I have no hope of getting them to see things my way. Despite what I’ve told her and told her, my mom refuses to believe that I couldn’t have gotten into graduate school if I had applied this year instead of next. I don’t have much faith in my parents’ ability to put these things aside for one day and simply enjoy what’s going on.
My grandparents don’t travel well. They’ve never been big on traveling just for the fun of it, and now that he can’t see my grandfather often mentions that he never wants to go anywhere. My mom dislikes traveling with them-the story is far too long to relate in a single thread. I heard enough horror stories about my brother’s law school graduation last year that I’m half-glad final exams prevented me from attending.
I don’t want any yelling, at me or anyone else. I don’t want to hear any pointed comments or awkward toasts. I just want to enjoy the day as much as I can. Is that too much to ask?
By my count, they should be here in 22 hours.
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