My dog just turned 8 years old. I got him as a 6 week old pup and he was crated for the first (at least) 6 months of his life. To this day he continues to to his crate when I get ready to go out. However, I haven’t closed/latched the door since he was 6 months old, but it’s “his” safe place so I leave the crate where it is. Trust me I’d like to get rid of it as it doesn’t go with the furniture (LOL), but I don’t because he still values it. I remember my first year with Boscoe and I remember wondering “WTH have I done”. You’ll get through it and look back and wonder what the fuss was all about. Good luck and feel free to ask this awesome group for advice.
That’s true – I don’t talk to him at all when I leave. Or when I return. And I don’t always leave immediately after crating him either, so it shouldn’t reliably signal my leaving. Maybe it was that I had my work bag? Not sure what he learned from his previous owner.
Oh god, I hope so. It’s been raining here (and will be raining continuously for a while) and it’s so tiring taking him out for a walk, waiting for him to make up his mind about doing his business while we get soaked, cleaning and drying him, doing his training, worrying about when to give him his last drink, etc., while still finishing my normal day-to-day tasks. I shouldn’t have gotten a dog while single. I don’t know if I can do this. It’s not even that he’s a bad dog. He’s such a good dog.
Take him to dog training classes. The trainer will help you learn how to be a good owner as well as help you train your dog to be a good dog. Do it. You will be very pleased with the result!!
You can do it! I was still living with my parents when I got my first dog so they helped me with her, but me and the dog did go to obedience school for like 5 years. We did puppy classes then the next few rounds and eventually we just went because it was something fun for us to do together that was helpful for both of us!
I lost her in 2014 and then embarked on a journey of having TWO dogs, both rescues, and for a year I was thinking “what have I done??” but we muddled through and we’re a happy little clan now.
Having a dog when you’re single is amazing and rewarding. It gives you a reason to get up in the morning and someone to come home to every day. It is worth the struggle and the one thing you need to do most is to CARE and you are doing that just fine!
Dogs can be trained to go on command. In my experience, you won’t get them to go immediately, because they will still have their spot preferences, but it’ll help them focus and remember why you’re out there, which can speed up the process in situations where you’re running late or the weather is too bad to be outside. Say a phrase in a happy tone while he’s relieving himself and give him a treat. Eventually, the connection will be made.
Okay, I spoke too soon. The day is still young and he’s been a nightmare today. After four straight days of handling the night without a peep, I was awoken this morning by incessant barking. I didn’t want to reward him for barking by checking on him, but I had to get going and he just would not stop. So all I could do was wait until he was quiet for about five seconds and then I let him outside in case he needed to potty. He, in fact, did not. I have the strictest HOA in this galaxy, if not the universe, and if he’s going to keep barking I’m sure they’d make me get rid of him.
Then he lunged at every dog and person he saw on his walk.
Please please please go to class with the dog. It will help you both immensely and the trainer will be there to give you good advice for every issue you can think of. And it will wear the dog out for the rest of the night!
I’ve owned several dogs throughout my life. I have buyer’s remorse every time I get a new dog. It’s a big responsibility. House breaking them can be difficult. It usually takes at least two weeks for me to fully accept that I’m a dog owner, again!!!
That said. Dogs make wonderful companions. They let you know if anybody is on your property. I’ve loved every one of my dogs.
Crate training is a must in my house. I will not tolerate a dog roaming loose all night long. Shitting and pissing in hidden corners. My dog goes to her crate at night and during the day if I’m gone for more than a couple hours. It makes a big difference in house breaking a dog to poop outside.
Sign your new dog up for obedience classes. They train the owner and the dog. 
I can’t emphasize this enough! When my last dog died I was lost. I had no purpose. Now I’ve adopted another dog and have a reason to go on. And she’s a sweetie. She’s six years old and has experience living in a house. She’s obedient and totally housebroken. Having a dog isn’t like having another person in the house, but it gives you responsibility over another living being that looks to you for everything. Puppies grow up and settle down and have stable temperaments. It is absolutely worth it when you make that connection with your dog.
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Your dog has already bonded with you far more than you realize. At this point, unless there’s some unresolvable behavioral issue, like the dog bites everyone including you, it would be cruel to give it back. Your dog will mourn your loss and there’s nothing sadder than a dog who’s missing his first love/owner.
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Most likely, even with a puppy, the dog sleeps most of the time, if not all, while you’re gone anyway.
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Aim for no more than 4-5 hours out of the house without the dog getting some sort of attention, whether that be from you or a hired dog walker. I live close enough to the office so that it’s convenient to go home every day for lunch. The dog gets a crate break, maybe a quick nap in the sun, a bit of lunch, I get to clear my head from work.
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If you’re single and live alone there is nothing better than a dog to get you out and meeting people. If you are properly socializing your dog while you’re home with it, then leaving a few hours a day should be no big whoop. Besides, dogs are chick/guy magnets.
Now that I’ve read the entire thread.
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Forget fat-free peanut butter. The fat in PB is plant fat; don’t worry about it. Use Natural peanut butter – the kind with the oil on top that you have to stir (keep it refrigerated so you don’t have to re-stir every time you open). Fat-free PB and others are slam full of sugar and THAT is what is unhealthy for the dog, just as too much sugar is bad for us. Some PBs have Xylitol as a sweetener, which is HIGHLY toxic. Read the label before you buy PB for the dog. I buy the store brand generic natural PB and the ingredients are: Peanuts. Oil. The end.
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It’s time for training. Look into group classes at PetSmart or through your local pet store, or just google for private trainers in your area. I used Barkbusters and highly recommend. They use a vocal-based training program that is humane and no alpha dog nonsense. Even if you don’t hire training from BarkBusters, their site is still a great resource.
Are you certain about this? I’m not his first owner and I’ve only had him for five days. He’ll follow pretty much anyone around. If I had to give him back I was hoping he’d have viewed me as a petsitter for a weeklong vacation or something like that.
I am certain. I rescued a pitbull a few years ago and the first month was pretty tough. My policy is I always take a new dog to the vet within the first week to get it checked out and to start a chart, verify and/or boost vaccines, etc. I expressed similar concerns to my vet as yours and that is what he told me.
Think about it this way. Dogs have pretty short attention spans so for the last five days YOU are all he’s got. There’s no other stimulation unless YOU give it to him. Yes, it’s a big responsibility on your part, but you are meeting his needs and have all week and you’ve surely petted him and given him affection. The bond has already begun.
I would seriously cry for your dog if you opted to give him back rather than seek some training. You don’t want to make Dogzilla cry, do you? :o
The prospect of going home and not seeing him again already feels unbearable, but I just feel so overwhelmed. It’s only my second day of work since I got him and already the neighbors are angry, the dog walker has canceled on me with less than an hour’s notice, and I’m frantically trying to find someone who can let him out. Is this what every day is going to be like from now on? There are SO many single people with dogs and I have no idea how they do it.
25 years ago I rescued a big black lab running down the highway. I disliked dogs, but didn’t want him to be killed.
I took him home with the intention of dropping him at the SPCA in the morning; you can probably guess the rest, as I have 5 dogs now.
At a
ny rate, I was really freaked out for several weeks until I learned that doggies are quite resilient. Take the advices from this thread and you’ll be fine. Dogs are the bestest things ever!
Chill. I’m single, live alone and at the present have 4 dogs. They are all that keep me going. Cannot imagine life without them. There is always a settling in period when a new pup joins the family but just work thru it and give him good food, water, play, and love. It’ll all work out, I promise.
He’s a beautiful little guy! Just relax and get to know each other.
Thanks for the comments, everyone. Really appreciate it. I spend about half of every day decided on keeping him and the other half sure that I’m going to give him back.
I agree that you should hang in there, get some training in and be patient. I go through this every time I foster a dog, and right now we’re fostering with the possibility of keeping him. You’re developing a relationship with another sentient being - it takes time for you to get to really know each other.
And things like dog training are good bonding exercises. DONT dump him in one of those training camps where they train the dog for you over a week and then hand him back to you. Training needs to be done with both of you together.
It’ll get better. As everyone else said, there’s a settling-in period where you’re getting to know each other. Be confident and certain and your dog will pick up on that. Dogs can sense emotions, and if you show him he’s loved and wanted, he’ll pick up on that. On the other hand, if you’re uncertain, the dog can pick up on that, too, and react negatively. So think positive thoughts.
May I ask what you were hoping you would get from having a dog? What were the positive things that would come from that relationship?
Maybe you should focus on 2-3 positive things that you’d like to develop in your relationship with your dog. (What is his name btw? I’m sorry but I don’t remember if you’ve said.) Focus on just a few things and don’t worry about getting everything right at once. If you wanted a buddy for walks, then take lots of walks. If you wanted a buddy to lounge around and watch movies with, then do that. Consider letting him have a bed of his own in your room. It’s easy bonding time, even though you’re both asleep. Dogs tend to associate the bedroom with the den, so you’re less likely to have potty training issues there as well.
If the crate is the major source of your stress, consider ditching the crate. Not all dogs require crates. Again, a trainer will help here. I have 3 dogs and none of them are crated. I have crate-trained dogs in the past. There are some dogs that I might crate train in the future, but crate-training isn’t a must. If it’s freaking you out, consider other options.
You do need to sign up for training classes, especially so you can work on the leash issues you mention. Their are ways to make sure that he focuses on you, and not on other distractions, but it’s easiest to explain those in person. Even the barking can be addressed.
Also, as someone else mentioned, since you are taking him out at set times for potty breaks, start associating a phrase or word with the action. Make sure the word is NOT something you commonly say. We used, “go pee” with our dogs, for example. Don’t use “okay” or something that you might accidentally say in conversation. When he starts looking for a likely spot, use the phrase over and over as he “goes”. As soon as he’s finished, lots of praise. Fairly soon, the phrase itself should act as a trigger that hurries things along.
When you come back to thread, can you tell us which parts of having him are stressing you out the most? Maybe we can tackle those things together. In the meantime, just remember you won’t break him. He appreciates simply having you and a home. You might be worried about doing things wrong, but he doesn’t have those worries. Focus on the positive emotions. Pet him and let him snuggle up. It will be fine.