My nine year old is in a really great youth organization, and they are planning a trip soon. They will be gone for a week. There is no way that I could sent him on such a great trip in the near future on my own.
He’s very independant, and he really wants to go, but I’m worried. Not because he’ll be away for a week, but because they may be stopping in Washington D.C. for a day.
I know it sounds ignorant, but if it were anywhere else, I wouldn’t worry so much. With everthing going on now with own security, I can’t help but be paranoid.
On one hand, if I let him go and, God forbid, something happens, I will never be able to live with myself.
On the other hand, if all the kids go and have a good time, but my son does not, I’m afraid I will have a lot of guilt too.
There is going to be a lot of adult supervision, something like one adult for two childern. But I still worry.
What would you do ? How do I get over this paranoia ?
My parents never let me go on any trips. I didn’t mind back then, and looking back I agree with their decision. I am not paranoid in the least, but he’s not the supervisors’ child and they have a lot of other things (including other kids) on their hands, so it is not overly (or at all) paranoid to not expect them to care as much as you would. I don’t have children (yet), but I really don’t think I would let my child into a strange big city without my (relatives’) supervision.
That right there says it all. The only real objection you offer to the trip is based on the psychological significance of what you perceive to be a likely terrorist target. The rest of it sounds like standard mom-stuff. My mom worried about all the same things. I’m in college now and she still worries-- its OK to worry.
He really wants to go. Your first statement leads me to believe you hold the “…really great youth organization…” in high regard. Obviously, nobody can guarantee that DC will be safe, but the government is a bit paranoid as well and you can bet they are keeping their eyes open. It may even be safer for him in a politically significant, highly guarded city than it is for him to be in locales that would make for less obvious targets… but I digress. Let him go. Time is the only cure for this cultural paranoia you and the rest of the country is experiencing. That, or the utter destruction of all who threaten the safety of US citizens. WARNING: the following statement may contain nationalistic propaganda
If you don’t permit your son to go on the trip because of your personal fears, you are letting the terrorist win…
In all seriousness though, do what you believe is right for your child. I, and a few of the other dopers it seems, feel that this trip is a good idea. Perhaps you will let us know what you decide?
I can understand how you feel because I have an almost pathological fear of my daughter being around water without me, her father or her grandmother. Ever since I found out I was pregnant with her i’ve had horrible nightmares about her drowning. It is extraordinarily difficult to allow her to experience going to the beach,water parks and pools when my heart is in my throat the whole time.
If they will have a high ratio of adults:children on this trip AND you have some association with these same adults AND are reasonably sure they’re responsible persons THEN he should be fine.
Can you send a cellphone with him so he can check in from time to time during the trip?
No matter what you do, you are going to risk possibly feeling terrible. What if he dosen’t go, but that week you get in an accifent driving him to school and he is horribly maimed? If he’d been on the trip, he would have been fine. If you know the adults that are going, and you know they are trustworthy, and you think he would enjoy and benefit from the trip, then let him go.
During the London blitz in World War II, they evacuated the children to the countryside. That was a pretty good indicator that it wasn’t a good time to be visiting London.
But currently, I haven’t seen any sign that parents in the DC area have started sending large numbers of their children to live with relatives. They may have a heightened state of awareness, but they also know that threat of a terriorist attack is still extremely remote.
I say worry all you want, but don’t let it show, and let your son go on the trip. He’ll be fine.
From one paranoid mom to another, I say let him go. I used to worry a lot more about my son going to camps and travelling. But it’s either let him go or hang around the house looking out the window wondering what’s out there. I think it’s great that you’ve given it a lot of thought, but pack the kid a bag and put on that happy-for-you face.
My sister has a very expensive camera. Yet everytime we go outside her house, she brings her old one. I asked her why once and she said, “If I bring it to the beach it might get ruined.”
“So you don’t use the camera for fear that you will break it?”
“Yes.”
“And if you break it…?”
“Then I won’t be able to take pictures with it.”
See how dumb that is?
My advice: Give your son a big hug and let him go enjoy his life.
Let the kid go now. For you and him. You gotta let him be independanct, so that when he finally gpoes away to college or wherever, he won’t call the day after you leave begging to come back home. And likeways you need to be ablew to leave the little guy there and not cry and demand he ocme home with you. I’ve seen it many times, and it gets sadder every time.
I don’t really believe Washington is such a risky place. And even if it was, it’s a big place, with a lot of tourist destinations. Even if the worst happened, what are the odds that he will be in danger? Pretty low.
Of course you’ll worry–that’s in your job description–but I think you should let him go. It will be something he remembers for years. I can’t remember the clothes I wore when I was nine, or the birthday presents I got, but I do remember my parents taking us on a trip to follow the Oregon Trail.
My parents and my three living grandparents all live in suburban VA and travel into the city frequently. It wouldn’t even occur to me to worry about their safety. I take it you’re not from around there? Sounds like a classic case of fear of the unknown.
If you have any friends or relatives in the DC area, talking to them might ease your fears a bit. If most people who live there aren’t particularly worried about terrorism, there’s no reason on earth why you should be worried about your son spending a day there.