Aldebaran, with the greatest possible respect … I don’t know how my reading skills compare with those of the average Martian, but I find it hard to make sense of your posts, and I have a master’s degree in linguistics.
If you’re going to get your points across, it might be a good idea to condescend to us Earthlings and write stuff we can actually understand. Just a thought.
It might also be a good idea for the Earthlings who happen to be born into this language to understand that I am not… And that I never studied it. This for the simple reason that I do not have more hours in a day then other Earthlings have, and no more days in a month, and no more months in a year.
To avoid raping this particular language as I do often enough - as you witness together with everyone else - I can write in other languages.
Yet I have some feeling that this is not that helpful to “bring my poinst across” as you call it. (I believe it is also against the board rules… it became a rule shortly after I became a member).
Add to this the inevitable situation that even when writing other languages that use Roman characters (which I believe you call Latin characters) this shall not prevent my precious birthgift dyslexia - which I named twinbrther Dyslex - from intervening and taking over. Which can lead to some strange effects and which happens whenever Dyslex comes out of his well deserved coma.
Yes, I do try to beat him into it whenever I detect his interferences… But there is a little problem with that, since I don’t see him interfering while he is busy doing so.
Since I am now almost one year member of this website I think I can suppose that these little things are common knowledge by now.
I can of course undertake the task to write a translating dictionary for the New Aldebaran’s English. Yet seen what I mentioned above I am afraid there shall be no consistency in no matter what I try to translate and clarify.
Hence my (already very old) suggestion to English speaking Earthlings on board: See my contributions here as an invitation to sharpen your skills in Creative Comprehensive Reading.
Some Earthlings give me now and then hints in language use, grammar, synthax… whatever. Others ask for clarification if Creative Comprehensive Reading doesn’t bring the solution.
Both efforts are highly appreciated by underscribed.
Salaam. A
This from a poster that managed to get laughs out of a Cthulu take off?
Well, here’s a hint in language use.
You could boil those four paragraphs down to “I am not a native English speaker, and also have dyslexia. Please make allowances for this.”
That would get your point across nicely. Always assuming my Creative Comprehensive Reading skills have correctly identified it.
Well, the purpose of these things is raise money, so the more you spend on the food the less you have for the cause. I’d expect the food to be pretty average, and in fact would be a little pissed if it looked like too much money went towards the chow.
Yes.
But writing in such a dry and really uncreative manner goes against all the rules of two of my first languages (Arabic and French, be it that the latter asks a bit less for embelishment and exaggeration). And it goes completely against my inborn pleasure in storywriting 
Salaam. A
Heh, yeah, you’d think so, wouldn’t you? But by that token, if the donors felt that way they’d just, I dunno, give the money without expecting the four course meal, speakers, musicians, banquet hall, or whatever the fripperies surrounding the event du jour. Sadly, that ain’t the case, and charities (be they religious, arts, social services, academic, medical, etc.) know it all too well. Ten years in fundraising for two big name nonprofits has taught me that donors at this level expect (nay, practically demand) to be wined, dined, and basically have a generous percentage of their money tossed away on stupid administrative costs.
(In short – the food usually ain’t that great, but it is usually expensive.)
People expect, and get, servicable chicken and beef. It’s served by the same folks that do weddings, for about half-a-hundred a plate.
The real draw is the speakers, and the opportunity to get your picture taken with the President or First Lady.
I guess my mental sticking point would be the implication, when they refer to it as a “$1000/plate” affair, that the money is for the food. If they just said that it was an event that included dinner for which admission was a $1000 donation, and the meal was unimpressive or even downright bad, I’d be fine with it.
Similarly, if the strip club mentioned in my above post had simply charged me $4.50 at the door and then given me a free shitty Coke, I wouldn’t have thought twice about it. But since they’re making the pretense that I’m paying that price for the Coke itself, I reflexively get pissed off when it’s lousy.
I know, I’m just being weird. It’s all theoretic, though, since I sure as hell don’t have $1000 to donate.
Just to get back to the OP, my favorite line of the article was:
Similarly, I view a pig’s ass as pork, and the Pope as a gentleman who both embraces Catholicism and wears a funny hat.
No, the implication is that the money is for a seat at the table, which is where they put plates.
I gotta hijack for a moment…
The other couple God didn’t make…
Actually, while the food is mediocre, the plate itself is really nice, DoctorJ. Trust me, if you saw it, you’d say, "Yeah, I guess this plate is worth $1000.
Well, I didn’t write that in a few minutes time, without spell controll and without dictionary and without taking the time for re-reading letting it rest a bit and then re-read in search for Dyslex-contributions.
Side note: It would have been fun to have that thread on an toher forum for going on with the story. By the way: I have no clue what this Cthulhu thing is about… I just found that post of DocCathode so extremely funny and inviting to contribute to his fantasy.
There is also the fact that writing a fantasy is much easier then debating which asks for having facts, explanation, defense of your argument right, and clearly and coherent written out (At the same time often translate and summarize myself or others, and not from one single language).
Salaam. A